Well i am 19years old and currently studying. However i am a very smart and sexy young woman, but i got one huge problem. Men just seem to love me to have sex with, every man i have been with in the past just love me for sex, they can stay with me for years just for the sex. It bothers me alot, these guys i dated are very smart and cute. When i am around them they make me feel perfect, like the world is a perfect place and being with them is the only thing that matters.
It happened with every single guy i dated, it's a good thing and yet a bad thing at the same time.
All i wanted was to be loved and care for, as much as i cared, loved and respected them. I never got it and now i am with someone who is exactly the same. I can't do this anymore, i dont know if love really exists.
I'm tired of being used like this.
Is there a guy out there who could love me, for who i am and not just for my body? I'm at the stage of giving up on love! What is life without love? Please help!!
2007-02-07 02:28:15 · 66 answers · asked by AngelEyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You say you know you are sexy and smart, but do you really know it?
Only when you start to really love yourself will they start to really love you.
Have you actually asked any of these guys whether it was just sex they wanted you for? Or did you actually have meaningful relationships that naturally came to an end? In my experience, men don't stick around for years on end just because of sex. There's too much out there for them just for that - if it was just the thrill of the sex then surely that's the same as the thrill of the chase and that rarely lasts for years when only 2 people are involved.
Start loving yourself properly and stop defining yourself by your relationships and by your men. I bet you at least one of those guys really loved you at some point.
Chin up and you will triumph!
2007-02-07 02:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by hevs 4 · 4⤊ 5⤋
First things first do not give up on love!!! if u do that ur be looking heart away from the world believe me the same is happening to me i have meet some nice guys, all we can really do is move on and hope that we will find a love we deserve. Your very young so u have got lots of time to see whats out there. My advice would be to date guys but go on a date to the cinema, a bar or even dinner and dont even kiss them to further dates they will get the message that ur not in it for the sex. Men can be like animals on the hunt sometimes which is very wrong. Keep looking and u will find the love u deserve never give up!!! good luck for the future!!!!
2007-02-07 02:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by clairie1986 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
All you have to do is wait a while before having sex. You will find someone that respects you and likes you for more than just sex, but first you really need to have more respect for yourself. Why don't you not worry so much about finding the right person right now? You are still in school and very young. Go out with the girls for fun or date casually. And by the way, if a guy makes you feel perfect and says all the right things to you, then why don't you wait and see if they stick around and still make you feel that way when you don't have sex right away?
2007-02-07 02:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by tmac 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
You shouldn't just blame the men for using you, after all it is you that is allowing them to do it... ppl can only do to you, what you allow them to do.... I found this to be a really important lesson in life to learn.... hope it helps you too.
Perhaps you could try not giving all of yourself away too soon, that way you will sort out the men that just want sex and the ones that want you for you, coz the ones that just want sex wont wait around...
Oh and try not to confuse sex with love, if you really want to be loved and cared for, the guy that respects the fact that you want more than just sex out of a relationship is most likely the guy you will get all the things you long for from...
be patient love will come your way x x
2007-02-07 02:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by EZ 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
There's nothing wrong with the guys or love. the problem is that you stop the process of falling in love with sex first. When sex happens before love happens it secures the relationship as a sexual one. As much as men like to get it, when it's not handed to them they will actually get to know the person while the sexual tension is there.
Contarary to what a lot of girls think, men are actually not afraid of commitment, they're just afraid of commiting to a girl who's been had too easily. That hunter in them will always crave a girl that can't be easily had.
Try not sleeping with the guys you see and be honest with them that you only become intimate with someone who loves you and whom you love. They'll rspect you much more and if one or two bolts, then they were going to be bolting after sex anyway, so why not spare yourself the effort.
It sounds like you have a lot going for you if you're attracting these great guys, now just earn their respect by keeping intimacy for when there's love. It will be much more fulfilling for both of you.
You may get less action, but you'll get more quality and more devotion and who doesn't want that? ;o)
2007-02-07 02:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by TJTB 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Hun you still have the love of your family and your friends i presume? Well then, life is not over! Think of all the good things u have, health, family etc.
You gotta stop letting men use you. That was always my downfall. I was so low that i thought well this could be love so carried on.... it never does. But you know deep down that they aren't the guys for you.
Unfortunately for us there are to many guys out there who just want what they can get and don't care who they hurt but at the end of the day its really OUR fault for letting them have it in the first place.
Concentrate on you, what you want, what you need and spend time with friends and family, try celibacy for a while!
Just want you to know that now i have found my man and i had to kiss a lot of frogs before i found him and got hurt so many times by users like you described.
You see miracles do happen, and these nice guys truly do exist.
2007-02-07 02:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by Fay 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't give up just yet. It sounds like to me that the guys you are dating all think your easy, or they could even know each other. I have this same problem with moochers. Here is what you do. You stop having sex with them, don't worry that your doing anything wrong either. I would just tell them I believed in waiting for a good while and do not give in no matter what occurs, we're talking a month or two here of dates. When they're coming at you with all that good stuff like you mention they are being too compliant, and it is because they want sex, trust me. Don't give it up, and don't date anyone who acts like the others. Try going out with some other guys who act different, it might just be your choices.
2007-02-07 02:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy C 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
If you want a man to love you for you and not be focused on the sex, take the sex away. You are very young and I am guessing the men you are dating are fairly young too. like 22ish? Men at that stage in life really cannot focus on anything but sex. Especially if they are getting what they want from you without having to show their emotional side in return. Either cut things off with this guy and start fresh commiting to yourself to remain selebet until you find love, or cut the man you are with off from sex and tell him you are looking for something more, and if he cannot give you what you need you aren't going to give him what he wants. The right man will understand and want to be with you because he loves the person that you are. You cannot be upset with men obsessing over sex and basing your relationship on it when you are giving it out even when you are emotionally dissatisfied. You need to straighten your priorities and make a commitment to yourself if you are going to get what you want from life. If you are sexually charged and need it just as bad as these men do, invest in a vibrator. The bullet is great and has kept me happy during such times.
2007-02-07 02:37:08 · answer #8 · answered by selamaht 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Maybe you should try to be on your own for a bit after all your only 19 and your life is just beginning. Learn who you are first and what your about, do things for yourself, enjoy what you like. Sex is not the be all and end all in life dont give yourself too freely even with emotions hold back have fun. Love and respect yourself first and there's loads of love, if you can love the stars,moon,sun,mountains,trees,flowers and the smell of freshly cut grass you will have a life full of love.
2007-02-07 02:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You deserve so much more than what you have been given so far.... you have to gain a lot more self esteem and respect for yourself but most of all you have to change the bait that you are putting out there that is attracting these kind of men, hold your body in high esteem and do not give it up to anyone who is less than worth it.... dont rush into anything take your time you have youth on your side, and theres a whole world out there, and the right guy for you will find you or you him, just be patient, and kind to yourself.
2007-02-07 02:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Hi Angeleyes - I think you are attracting the wrong men because you are putting out the wrong vibes. Learn to respect yourself more and gain some self-esteem as I think your low esteem of yourself is unconsciously picked up by the men you date and then they use you because you are vulnerable. Also being desperate for love will have the same effect on men - they just won't respect you. Of course you want to be loved for who you are, and as others have said on here, try holding out on the sex until you have gained the guy's respect for you. I also think it may be a good thing to have a little break for a while and concentrate on your studies, going out with your girlfriends etc. Give yourself a break, gain some self esteem and who knows!!!
2007-02-07 02:48:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋