My daughter asked if her friend could come to church with us. I told my daughter to have Lucy’s parents call me. I wanted to make sure I explain that we are Baptist and I wanted to make sure it was ok with them. Well my daughter came back and told me her step-dad doesn’t believe in God nor does he believe in organized religion. However Lucy could attend Church with us, however they will have nothing to do with it. Basically, every Sunday Lucy would spend the night Saturday or I would pick her up Sunday. A few months later, I moved across town and picking Lucy up isn’t easy for me. So I asked if someone could drop her off at my home Sunday morning. Lucy told me her dad said he will not have anything to do with Church. So I asked about her mother. She then confessed that before her mother got remarried they would go to Church all the time. Then they stopped when her step-dad came along. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing.Especially if her family doesn’t believe in God.
2007-02-07 02:23:30 · 21 answers · asked by Renee 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Another problem is, since they are not involved in Church they do not attend the plays Lucy is involved with. They do not volunteer to help the children church that their child is attending. Also they do not contribute financially to the Childrens Church. I am donating double so my daughter and Lucy can participate in the various activities. I don’t know what to do about this. In one way I feel they are looking at this as a babysitting service for them. How do you guys feel? Thanks
2007-02-07 02:24:15 · update #1
Every activity Lucy is in I got permission from her mother. I am not trying to convert anyone. she has to have permission slips signed for everything she does. Her father is signing them. There were times when he didn't and she didn't go.
2007-02-07 02:38:30 · update #2
I think that you are even wondering if you are doing the right thing is a VERY good...and respectful....sign. I'm an agnostic....I don't believe in anything. My parents were also agnostic/atheists. One of my closest friends growing up was the son of a baptist minister...there were many times I'd go to church with them. Looking back on it....it was a good experience for me. They never pushed their beliefs on me.
I think you're on decent footing as long as you aren't trying to push or convince her of what is right and wrong. I think the real key is for her parents to ask questions about what she saw/learned in church...and for them to question things. I don't think your role is to be in conflict with their daughter's education...but from what you've described, I don't think you're doing that. I think her parents can discuss these issues with her...and I don't think that non-forceful/fear based exposure to religion can really do much damage.
The real key to me is that you're asking this question....as long as you're questioning yourself and your role, I think you're probably on solid moral footing.
2007-02-07 02:34:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If it's really a burden to you, then stop. If you can handle it financially and with your time, then continue. See if you can talk to the mother and get her to start going to church again. Why would she stop because she got married? It's sad if that's true and her new husband isn't allowing her to worship as she wants. Why don't you try to find out what is really going on so you can make a more informed decision?
I think it's great that you want to help this child form a relationship with God. Overall, if the parents don't care, then you are doing the right thing.
May God Bless you.
2007-02-07 10:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weird situation, yes. I don't believe in God myself, but if my children wanted to go to church with a friend, I would have no issue with it. And I would go to any plays that they had. I like to see my kids do things. I also would not expect the friend's parents to pay for the activities. I'm afraid they are taking advantage of you, and I would first talk to the parents. Do they know about you paying for their daughter? If you can't work something out, stop taking the other girl.
2007-02-07 10:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I feel that if their daughter wants to go to church they, AS PARENTS, should support her in every aspect of the word and not hand their daughter off to you. AND it kinda sounds like this stepdad is controlling. I dont extremely believe in most aspects of organized religion, but if my child wanted to go to church i definantly would attend plays and pay for her and drive her and participate when needed. Thats what makes a good parent, being there for his or her child and obviously this young girls parents arnt. Contact the Real Father.
2007-02-07 10:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by D.Allman 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't attend a church that expected me to pay for services. You are to give according to how God leads you. It sounds like you aren't sure of what your church believes about giving or your church is out for the almighty dollar. I am not trying to bash your church, just pointing out a wrong that I see. Ask some elders or even the pastor of your church about their doctrine when it comes to giving. That should help clear up any miss-givings you may have. You should not have to give double just to bring more people. Start with the money and go from there.
2007-02-07 10:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by gigglings 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If for you it becomes unworkable, for instance because it is a long drive to pick her up - that would be reason to stop doing this.
But if her parents don't mind and the child wants to go to church, I don't think there is anything morally wrong for you to do this for her.
It's not really about ethics, it's about whether you have the capacity to keep this up, and want to.
Even for a child that's atheist, it is good to know how church works, because it's such a large part of society.
2007-02-07 10:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by katinka hesselink 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the step-dad is being a good step-dad to allow the daughter to come to church even though he does not believe in it. It's your choice to start this, and now you want to stop because it's not convenient for you. You can't expect the step-dad to pay for anything or to join in when he told you from the beginning he wanted nothing to do with it. You changed your expectations. He didn't change his.
2007-02-07 10:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very nice thing that you do taking Lucy to church, even though it is out of the way for you. Let me tell you this. My parents are not Atheist, but are not very religious. My boyfriends family has let me come to church with them for years. Not only have I found God...but i have found people willing to discuss God with me. My parents might not believe, but I do and i think i am changed because of it...and it is down to that family taking me to church on Sundays with them.
2007-02-07 10:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by happysmileyperson 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would rather teach them spirituality ,that God dwells within and shows us how to live without religion.Religion just causes more problems by teaching other mens ideas that are erroneous and cause wars and confusion..God speaks right to the source,the individual and tells the truth to your heart,mind and soul without mans two cents worth.It is always loving and compassionate and for that individual.Never evil or prejudice or wrong,but man is fallible and gives wrong advise some times.He does not.God bless you and all
2007-02-07 10:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by woodsonhannon53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look it is up to you. I won't say it is wrong because they are letting her go even though they do nothing to help.
They are handling it rather weird I think. If my daughter wanted to go, I would drop her at a friends house and I don't believe either. I can't say I blame him for not attending. Not sure about the Mom though.
2007-02-07 10:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋