Will he ever marry me, please be very honest????Have been together 2 years leaving together 1 year and 2 month

Question

Im 34 he is 33 neither of us have been married or have kids.We
He believes in marriage and wants kids , so do I.
But Im not getting any younger ,we both have good paying jobs and own our place.He wants to open a business by the age of 35.When people ask him when are we getting married and when are we having kids he blushes and says I don't know and changes the subject.He talks about his wife in third person, not as if is going to be me.Example I want to travel with my wife and kids and Im sitting next to him but he is not looking at me.He said one time he will only cosign or lend money to his wife but he didnt say me.I told him I wanted to buy a porshe convertible when I turn 40 and he said you are going to be the hottest mom in the streets.I don't have a ring ,we don't look at rings or dresses we never talk about this subject.I want to have a kid but is important that I get married first and I don't want to be too old the latest at 36 .What should I do I love this man?

Answer 1

Both of you believe in marriage and both desire to have kids. He seems to be on a brisk 'look out' and even though you are by his side and very much with him, say, on travel, he hesitates to turn toward you and directly address you as his 'wife to be'. May be, he is shy; may be, he is conscious of the age factor; may be, he is not certain if he proposes; and, above, all, it is probable that he lacks self-confidence. A very ostensible possibility is that he is looking forward to some initiative from your end--some inkling, some indirect signal, or even some good message. It may be helpful if some such thing happens and the cloak of uncertainty is pierced once and for all. Please note that time seems to be of critical significance for you and hopefully for him too.
Both of you are financially very well off and there are so many other commonalities which bespeak a bright future in relationship. Your plans to have a kid post-marriage do not seem to have any different view from him. And then, his usage of the great phrase 'the hottest mom' for you can be construed to be something coming from his depths and does not appear to be just a casual remark. Now, if you love him then muster some emotional courage and broach your desire at him. He may reciprocate with full warmth and even a huge romantic splash. An initiative taken on time is always highly rearding. You will not miss this opportunity should you not get stuck up in the obsession on 'who to say it first'. All the best. The scenario induces lot of optimism and I am so honest about it.

Answer 2

Some men are afraid of rejection. And some men just like getting the milk for free if you understand my meaning. If he blushes when people ask he may be afraid you will say no. When you ask him about marriage what does he say? If he avoids the subject or changes it he may very well be the kind that does not commit. I would tell him you need to know where this relationship is going in his mind. Where does he see the 2 of you in 5 yrs. I his answers are vague. You need to say I think it is time we spent some time away from each other to see how much we mean together. The problem with living together before marriage is that eventually everything is taken for granted. So men think why change anything as long as it is going smoothly. Maybe he does not want kids. You need to have a serious talk if he wont talk it is time to make a move. I suggest out. Some men can't change.

Answer 3

You should want to get married because you want to get married not because it seems to be what everyone else is doing. I would say at 35 years old and a 15 year long relationship you should be ready for marriage, but you still have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe it would be best if you took a break from this relationship, which must just be a habit by now, and work on improving yourself. Most importantly, don't have children until you can be a proper parent to them, even if this means you never have children. You shouldn't want children just because other people have them. Grow up already. ETA: juvegirl and jaded for Best Answer! Wow!

Answer 4

Most men, when there is no incentive to enter into that final commitment of marriage, then they just plainly don't do it. Think about this, you are living with him, providing him sex, companionship, cooking, cleaning etc etc, so in his way of thinking marriage is of no value to him. In other words, "why buy the cow when you are getting all the benefits and milk for free". Whenever a woman gives of herself too willingly without any source of a commitment then the results are no motivation from the man to committ to her. This is something that makes sense and yet too many women such as yourself have failed to realise this and end up in exactly the same situation you find yourself in. I do hope I am at least giving you some insights that will help you in whatever you decide on what to do for your future. Of course, the decision is yours. Either stay there and take it or move on. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

I know exactly what you're talking about. I would just ask. Ask him whether or not he thinks you guys will get married some day, and if he wants move forward. It's a question that has to be the kind where you set a date. But at least you know.
For me it's more like as long as he doesn't say he's not ready for marriage because it's me, and not simply because he's not ready, that's ok. I would want to know, and I understand. We (Me and the BF) usually talk about when we get married. He says it I say it, and talk about when WE have kids together. It's almost like he's (your BF) being too careful with his words. The easiest thing to do is just ask him.

Answer 6

Um...this is a weird situation BUT I think 2 yrs being together is not that long...think maybe you should give it a little longer maybe another yr....but be careful because I know woman that have been with their boyfriends for like 10 yrs and never get married. Maybe he just wants to wait till he has his business first; he might just want to reach his goals before taking things to the next level. I kinda agree that you should just have a talk with him, but then again you just might scare him away because you want a marriage commitment when you have only been together for 2 years.

Answer 7

I think you have a problem. First, are you absolutely sure he has never beeen married? The conversations you mention sound as if he might have been (or even BE) married. I would suggest that you confront the issue directly with him. Get a yes or no. If he says no or puts off making arrangements, move on as soon as possible.

Answer 8

find a reason 2 get out of the house maybe travel with ur friends,visit relatives or any work related reason.b4 u go dont buy him groceries,dont do laundry,do not do all d things that u do 4 him.make him miss u.make him realize that u r important 2 him. when u get back analyze how he reacts.then ull know how much u means 2 him.goodluck.

Answer 9

I think at this point in your relationship it is ok to ask him where he sees it going. Bring this up at the right time and in conversation like when he talks about what his life will be like in the future. Ask him if he sees you in his future. You are both mature adults so he should be able to handle it. It sounds to me like he has you in mind for his future. I bet a ring isn't far off. Hang in there and good luck to you both!

Answer 10

Bail! He obviously doesn't think of you as wife material. Get out of the relationship and find someone with whom you might have a future. It will hurt like hell but less than if you wait another month or year.

I'm so sorry and wish you good luck