Do you think having a career AND children is selfish?

Question

All my life I’ve wanted a successful career ( I want to be a doctor) and also have a few children. A lot of people seem to think that if I pursue a career AND have kids then I wont be able to juggle it, and say that it would be selfish to do so. Do you think I will ruin my children’s lives if I’m out working?
By the way I’m still really young and haven’t got a career OR children but just wanted to know.
Thnx

Answer 1

No way!!!!

Everyone has a right to a career! Supposedly those people think any men that have children should also compromise a career! No I didn't think so...
Having a career is healthy. Just because you have children shouldn't mean you have to give up your life! People who think that are insane. To say that probably 80% of the population have children, if they were all to give up their careers the country would come to a standstill!

Keep your career going strong, when your children are all grown up you'll need something of you left over xx

Answer 2

Hi we all make plans like this but sometimes things dont go right and if you are young then i wouldnt worry about it too much. Having children is a big deal and as long as they see you and you care for them properly i dont think it will be selfish, But i suppose if you are always at work then maybe you wont have time for children which means they will either resent you or become like you which im sure they wont but you never know. But i dont see why there is any reason when you dont have kids not to pursue a career as a doctor, you might no meet anybody to have kids or you might plan to have kids later on. But no one knows what is going to happen. If you want to be a doctor them obvously most doctors have children dont they. But if you are really young just think about your career and leave the children out of you mind. Just be happy and make lots of money then when you have kids you can give them the best life possible.

Answer 3

In this day and age I think you can accomplish anything you set out to do if you are willing to do the work to get there. I don't think it's selfish to have a career and family if that's what you want. Many women and men juggle both. My Brother in Law raised his 2 boys alone and worked full time. His boys are now grown men and great people. You just have to learn to juggle your time and energy. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have the things you want. Go for it. I hope all your dreams come true .

Answer 4

The problem with having it all is that you can't really have it all - you will have less time for parenting than if you gave up work, and you will have less time to devote to your career than if you had no children. Having said that, if you are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices, there is no reason that you can't bring up healthy and happy children AND work, you will just have to become very adept at juggling all the elements of both jobs, because raising children IS a job, and a hard one at that. You don't mention the role you would like the father to play in all this - remember that he too has a responsibility to your children and should also be prepared to take that responsibility. I gave up work to raise my children as that was my choice - your choice is equally valid and nobody should judge.

Answer 5

No, it is not selfish to have a success full career and children. Tons of women in our country these do that. Yet if you want to be a Doctor you may want to make you hours less (e.g. don't work late nights or early mornings) because then your kids can spend time with you. Yet, making your career MORE IMPORTANT than your children is HORRIBLE. Also whoever said that that was selfish then it just means the are JEALOUS.

Answer 6

No its not selfish at all, i have a 7 year old boy and have worked full time since i finished my maternity leave though in saying that financially i had to. i will say to you though there is not a day that goes by that i wished i didnt have to work even part time work would do me i just feel i'm always missing out on his life if i have more kids i'll definitley only work part time.
i just make sure that i spend as much time as possible with him every evening and spend at least 1 day at the weekend totally devoted to spending time just myself and my son.
just really think about it because also as a doctor you wont only be doing the 9-5 40 hr a week job its a lot of work and you wouldnt want to regret it in later life.

Answer 7

No it is not selfish. It shows the children that you are strong and able to balance work and family life. I think that if you have your heart set on becoming a doctor, you should do it. Don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. You can also have children by working part-time during the time that they are young or taking some time off. Its is possible and many doctors are working mothers and are able to manage it.

Answer 8

I'm 48 years old with 4 children- 26, 24, 18,9. Married to the same man for 28 years.

What I have observed and lived through over these years is that to be a good parent takes more than just a few hours from an exhausted parent at the end of the day.

I worked full time till our first child was 6 months old. He was being taken care of by my wonderful mother-in-law. However, I was missing his life; first tooth, first time rolling over, etc. and I wanted to raise my child. After much soul searching I left to go work part time for my mother. This was a much better arrangement. Our income was greatly diminished, but I was 100 times more happy.

Since then I have been a stay at home mom. I watched as my siblings and friends moved up the financial ladder while we were at a stand still most of the time. To this day I would not change a anything.

I watched my children's friends get lost in life while no one seemed to be looking. Drugs, pregnancies, etc. I listened while my kids begged to go places or do things not appropriate to their age and said NO. I also was and am there to celebrate in their successes.

When our oldest child, a boy, was in his first year of college, he came to me one day and out of the blue look me in the eye and said, "Thanks mom for always being here for us." After watching his several of his friends screw up their lives because no one was paying attention, all the financial hardships we trudged through were worth it. It still is.

My advise- Go to college and get that career. Work and save your money till you are financially secure. Then have those children and stay home and love them and give these little people the time they need to be great human beings. God Bless

Answer 9

In the real modern world of mortgages and cost of living we ignore the 1950's conservative family-gender-idyllic rubbish we read in the newspapers out of a sense of survival. By all means pursue a career and have children - just make sure you have a sensible partner who is willing to share all the responsibility of raising a family financially and personally with you.
You will be an inspiring role model to your children if you are selfless and energetic enough to show them how you can reap the rewards of effort.

Answer 10

my mom was a single mom for several years....she managed to have a full time job, raise 3 kids and earn a bachelor's in psychology.....now years later she's remarried (15 years ago), my sister and brother in law have a wonderful 3 yr. old and making money, my brother has a degree in the culinary arts and became a sous chef by the age of 24! (he's going to be 26 in july). i'm still in school, i've earned and associates and now earning my bachelor's. Mom has a full time job and is finishing her masters.
so no....it's not selfish. go to college/start a career while you're young and have the energy. i work part-time in a pharmacy and became friendly with a doctor. he told me that he was in college for 12 yeras. i told him that i thought med school was about 7. he said yea but changed his major....and residency is a requirement to become a doctor...give or take 2 years