How can i make my boyfriend understand?

Question

I have lived in an apartment with my boyfriend for about 7 months. I am 21, and he knew i have Always wanted a dog. Now we CAN afford a dog. It would cost about $700 initially. This is for adoption fee, pet deposit, food, ect. My boyfriend just doesn't want to spend that kind of money (we have a joint bank account). He doesn't understand that this is unfair to me, because i have not made any of the financial decisions. He has already bought a $700 tv, $500 surround sound, $300 xbox 360, and a $1500 lap top. He felt that they were Necessary, and we bought them when we first moved out. I supported him, i know he loves movies and video games. Now he is Not supporting my choice. He says the difference is that all of his stuff was bought on credit, and most of the things for a dog need to be paid in cash. But we have the cash, i feel like he is just being selfish. I just don't know what to do! My limit on waiting for a dog is Up. I need a dog. How do i get him to understand this?

I used to volunteer at an animal shelter and i work at a vet clinic now. I have done research on dogs since i was young. i know i can properly care for a dog. He would only be home for 3-4 hours a day at the most. The only question we had was financially. And now we would be able to afford it.

Answer 1

If your boyfriend new how much all the things that he bought whether it was by credit or not, costs then he would not have complained about the fact that you want a dog and you want to make some financial decisions, both sides should be involved in this type of situation, Just because you have to spend cash on a new dog does not give him the right to use his expenses as an excuse. It does not make both sides right. Tell your boyfriend that you want you both to be able to make the decisions and talk about what you want to do. In another aspect he won't fully understand why you want to do this but part of being in a relationship is understanding each other even if it is not what the other wanted. Tell him to look at it from your angle and ask him does he still feel the same way once you have talked to him. Just to be too pushy or you won't get anything out of him.

Answer 2

I myself am a dog person! My girlfriend and I bought a BorderCollie a month into our living together. I couldn't imagine what It would be like without a dog.
First off,.. You should really consider this from the aspesct of your potential pet, what kind of dog is a big factor! The size of the apartment vs the size of the dog. Time. Will you have enough time to house train, play with, walk, exericise the pet, having a dog is very time consuming-( well worth it ) it obviously sounds like your boyfriend wouldn't help you with the pooch anyway so that right there isn't going to help the situation any.
X-box Surround Sound, are not necessities. A LapTop ,...o.k maybe if it's for work, but if it's for internet porn or gaming then no.
Honestly I would re-evaluate what's more important, having a dog, or your boyfriend, if the 2 of you are serious, then he should make a consession and get a dog with you, and split the choirs that go along wih having a dog equally. In the grand scheme of things having a dog shouldn't be a problem for him.
I would choose having a dog. and finding some who respects and loves you enough to support somehitng thats obviously very important to you. I have to go my dog has been bringing me toys
the whole time I've been on the computer...GoodLuck

Answer 3

I tend to agree with several of the folks that already answered your question. I had a guy that was just like this. But he was unemployed. Eventually, we broke up and it was the best thing in the world. I was about $10,000 in debt, but I guess it could have been worse...

But as far as the puppy goes, you seem to be a fantastic and caring person and as you probably already know, there are so many animals out there that need a good home with a loving parent like yourself.... You should follow your heart and do what you need to do..

Think about this, you can tell SOOOOOO much about a person by the way they treat animals. If your boyfriend is totally against having one, then he's probably not going to treat it well. And that's not fair to the animal. If he doesn't like cute, cuddly little critters, where is his heart (unless he was bitten when he was younger and holds a huge resentment to anything with four legs).

And, what's with him trying to control you anyway? If he said that you guys would get a dog, and now he's making excuses, he's not being honest with you. Do you really want to deal with that for the rest of your life? Sure, breaking up over a dog might seem silly, but look a little deeper, this might just be a symptom of a bigger problem.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck and if it is to dump the guy, I PROMISE there's someone out there for you who will love a pup just as much as you do.

Answer 4

You also have a right to get things that you want. A dog is a lot of responsibility and does continue to cost for vets and shot. And maybe you should try and find out why he doesn't think that you have the money for a dog. Maybe you could then compromise with him on something. Maybe there is a dog that is cheaper or there is something that he wants. But if he is just out buying stuff then you should be a part of that, too.

Answer 5

First off, since you guys are not married, you should not have a joint checking account. I made this mistake when I was younger too. The second guy that I lived with, I remedied that mistake and we kept our own checking accounts, he paid utilties, we split rent and I paid groceries. Then we could have our freedom and buy things that we wanted separately.
Now, that we are married, we have 3 checking accounts (ours, mine & his). We pay bills out of ours and our personal ones, we can get what we want with it. It is a good system and rarely fight about money.
I don't know what to tell you about you getting the dog now. Talk to him honestly (no whining or crying), you won't get thru to him otherwise. You have to find out why he doesn't want the dog. If it is for financial reasons or if he just doesn't like dogs and doesn't know how to tell you that as you obviously love them.


Good Luck!

Answer 6

Whether or not vulgarity and cussing is mature isn't the point. The focus should be that your bf is being disrespectful by continuing this behavior when you've asked him not to do so around you. Just because vulgarity, cussing, dirty jokes are a part of life and you may have to put up with it from other people, doesn't mean you should, especially from a person claiming to care about you. Any man that doesn't respect you isn't worth your time and energy. You should be with a man that values your opinion and doesn't tell you to "break out of your PG-13 bubble." There are plenty of men out there that are more tasteful in their behavior. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Tell him that last part. Your DONE waiting for a dog and it doesnt matter whether or not his games were on credit or not. They're still games, not necessary at all except for his boy habits. Girl, just go out and do it. If you know you have the money then just do it. And if he throws a hissy over it then hes not worth it. But i know how you feel, i had to BEG my boyfriend (who i live with) to let me get a hamster. Can you believe that!? Well, anyway that was my advice. Good Luck and smart choice by adopting one and not going to a petstore or breeder like everybody else!

Answer 8

You need to be able to care for the dog. They are expansive to keep: food, vet, etc...

Also if you live in a very small house or appartment, it might not be the best thing for a dog.

He might have a fear or allergy to dogs too.

Otherwise if you can afford to keep the dog and you have a ok house and he has no allergies or othes, just go out without him knowing, buy the dog and by then it will be too late for him to say anything.

Answer 9

You can't compare an animal to material things like xbox/tv etc. A dog is for life and will continue to cost you money throughout it's life (food, bed, vet fees etc). If your boyfriend doesn't want a dog then there's not much you can do about it really, call him selfish if you want!

Answer 10

A dog is a much bigger investment than all the stuff you've listed above - these are all things that just sit in your flat. A dog will require attention from both of you & in a way is almost like having a baby maybe he's just not ready for that or maybe he just isn't in to dogs.