ive been with my boyfriend 3 years.
he is 27 and lives with his parents.
he wont move in with me even tho he says he is going to he just puts the date back all the time. 1st he said september, then november, then he promised the end of feb but now he says there is no way he can afford it for another couple of months so he is saying april. i just cant believe him and i dont think he will.
he wont get engaged to me untill he has lived with me 6 months even tho he says i am his world.
2 nights ago i tryed to split up with him. i explained how i feel about our relationship that i think after 3 years it isnt going anywhere. i said we should be friends or nothing at all.
he got upset and sulked a bit but he didnt understand what i meant. somehow after and hour of this we both ended up apologising to each other loads and hugging each other til we fell asleep.
i love him more as a friend than a boyfriend. he is like my best mate.
how can i make him understand this?
2007-02-07 01:18:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
27 and living with the parents? Oh man, sounds like he needs to grow up ASAP!! If his parents have that much control over him then you are going to have a very hard time.
2007-02-07 01:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First u complain that he wont move in with u or get engaged then u say u love him as a friend more than a boyfriend. U have to decide what u really want. After 3 years together u should be able to sit down and discuss what u both want and need. If u cant then that doesn't bode well for a healthy happy relationship.
2007-02-07 09:29:20 · answer #2 · answered by bcs31859 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, there is nothing wrong with your partner being your best friend. they should be, in my mind. my husband is my best friend, but i am also IN love with him and am COMPLETELY attracted to him.
so, there's a difference. sounds like he has a failure to launch...he is having trouble launching into his life.
he probably has this misconception that many people have and that's "i should have everything right away."
my husband and i have been married and living together for a year. money was rough at first, but we got a financial plan worked out and things are good and getting better every week, month...
SO, money is important, but it's no reason to not move on in your life. you guys can get a place that you both can afford and you can alter your budget so things will work.
frankly, i have a hunch that you both are so much part of each others' lives that you can't imagine being away from each other, however, you both probably know that the sizzle has fizzled out.
i would make a clean break and then be done with it. it is hard, but it just sounds like neither of you are interested in making things work anymore and you have lost that drive and excitement for each other.
either get that excitement back or seperate.
take care:)
2007-02-07 09:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flatter his ego a bit, tell him he's a great guy and all the things you like about him but that your romantic relationship isn't going to work out. Tell him that you think of him as a best friend and don't want to lose him. From what you've said it doesn't seem like he's much into the romantic relationship either, so maybe this isn't going to be as hard as you thought if you explain yourself well. Good luck.
2007-02-07 09:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by justpeachee22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just tell him this out straight, write him a letter explaing everything and that you love him but just not that way be 100% honest and tell him you are not going to contact him for a while and you would prefer if he didnt contact you either until things settle down, then just dont answer his calls or texts etc if he shows up at your door pretend your not in he'll soon get the message.
2007-02-07 09:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Drop him as a boyfriend and a friend. As long as you have communications with him you will not move on. 3 years is more than enough time to get his act together. Let him know that it's over and cut him off.
2007-02-07 09:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People prove who they are by what they do, not just by what they say. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to understand your needs and desires (or perhaps doesn't share them).
I would state clearly what you want out of a relationship with him; maybe in a letter so he can't get "upset and sulk" and interrupt what you are trying to tell him.
You seem genuinely hurt by him saying he wants to be with you and not following it up with action.
You deserve a man who will fight all obstacles to be with you, not one who is making excuses not to.
I wish you the best.
2007-02-07 09:35:19 · answer #7 · answered by Eva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your problem is just that... he's your best friend, but he's not relationship material.
He's emotionally stunted, really... he needs to grow up... and you need to know that no matter how much you want it to, you can't make him...
So, you have two choices - Deal with it... be the girlfriend to the 27 year old who can't afford to live with a roommate and still lives at home.... or break up with him... I would say break up with him.
2007-02-07 09:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by Tiff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to keep being honest with him and keep telling him how you are feeling.
If he still does not accept it, you may have to find the strength to walk away and say that you are not going to be a part of the relationship any longer.
2007-02-07 09:58:25 · answer #9 · answered by Madds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a guy who has never had a lot of responsibility and got away with most things in life easy...make sure he doesnt get away with trapping you!
2007-02-07 10:22:57 · answer #10 · answered by Jrock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋