Tactful response to a good friend who asks how much something is?...they are being rude for asking.?

Answer 1

I agree it is rude. A tactful way would be to say that you dont remember how much it was. Or you could be vague and say it wasnt priced too bad. Or it was a good deal. This way you are not being rude and also not answering their question.

Answer 2

Talking about money & prices of things is not rude in every culture. Some tactful responses are: It cost enough. Oh, not so much, Probably more than it was worth. After making an off the cuff comment tlike the above quickly change the subject. Your friend should get the hint. If She's really a close friend you should be able to tell her that you don't really like talking about how much money you spend on different things. It's worth considering whether you don't want to answer this question out of principle, that you yourself wouldn't ask it, or whether you really don't want your friend to know this information.

Answer 3

A tactful response would be to say " I'd rather not say" or "I don't remember" or "I don't want to think how much I spent" or "my wallet isn't telling".

The rudeness depends on the circumstance. If you bought a new shirt that your friend is admiring and she askes you where you got it an how much because she want's to get one, that might not be considered rude. It also depends on the friendship. I have a friend who I regularly share the cost of things with. We are completely comfortable asking each other that question. We have a kind of competition tosee who can get the best deals on things. So for us, it's not considered rude.
But I don't have that same unspoken agreement with other friends.

What it comes down to is how comfortable YOU are sharing that information. If you don't care if someone knows how much you spent on something, then go ahead and tell them. If you are uncomfortable, then say so.

Answer 4

There really isn't anything that you can't find the value of if you do a little research. More tactful would be to say, oh I just loved that, where did you get it? That statement accomplishes two things: it compliments the person for her good taste and let's you know where to start looking if you're interested. Other than getting the item yourself, do you really have any business in knowing how much someone is spending on something?

Answer 5

I think in some instances it is rude, while in others it isn't. You got a big salad, she wants to know how much you paid for it, because she paid $4.00 for hers and wants to find out if she got screwed.

On the other hand, if she is asking how much you paid for your male escort, well, that may be a bit more than you care to share, lol.

If she is a really good friend and she asks again about something you don't want to disclose, jokingly ask why she wants to know does she want to get one too? because two of those wouldn't be good.

I don't think most people are intentionally being rude, curious yes, inquisitive, yes, a bit nosy, sure, but trying to be rude, no I don't think so.

Answer 6

I'm always sensitive about asking this question, myself, because I'm aware that sometimes it crosses the line into MYOB-land. I never ask that question about something that might be intimate or personal, and I only ask it about things that I might actually have an interest in buying for myself or someone else. I would never ask it in a way that implied that I was making a judgement about the person's ability to afford it, their taste or judgement in buying it at all, or that they maybe got a bad deal. (e.g., I would never say something like "Wow! How much did you pay for that? Gee, that's a lot of money!" or "How much did you pay for that ugly thing?" or "You paid how much for that? My cousin bought one and it didn't cost her anywhere near that much."

If the item isn't something really costly or intimate, and the inquiry is genuine, I don't see a problem with being asked how much it cost. Example: you're giving a ride in your car to someone, and she spots the new road atlas map book in your center console. "Wow! This is really neat. I could use one of these. Where did you get it and how much did it cost?" Or you pull out a bleach pen to deal with a stain. Co-worker sees you and says, "Say, I've been meaning to get one of those. How much are they?"

If I choose to ask the price of something that may be borderline, I always phrase it something like this: "Please feel free to tell me if you don't want to discuss price, but I've been looking to buy an [item] like yours, so may I ask how much it cost?" that way the person I'm asking has an out-- they can politely say that they don't want to discuss it.

I think that most of us only find an inquiry about an item's price objectionable if it delves into something personal or implies a judgement about us for buying the item or paying the price we did.

If someone does cross the line in asking a question, I don't think it's unreasonable to politely tell them that you'd prefer not to discuss the price, and change the subject.

Answer 7

I ask this all the time! How is this rude?? You were probably showing something off...it's a natural question. Odds are your friend was impressed and wanted to know if and when they could afford to get one, too. Was it a house, car, piece of art or jewelry? Take it as a compliment on your taste. If you're uptight about your spending habits, be honest with your friend. Tell him/her point blank how you feel. If they're really your friend, they'll respect that....and probably look at you like you're crazy.

Don't move to the South....we're real open and helpful down here....you'd hate it.

Answer 8

You could say you don't remember but that would give them the impression that you would not mind telling them if only you could remember.
I think a better approach would be to say something like "It cost quite enough." That way, if they have any social intelligence whatsoever, they will certainly realize that you have no intention of telling them how much it is. Then, perhaps they will think twice before asking the next time.

Answer 9

Wow, I can't believe people who respond to "Etiquette" questions would actually argue that it's NOT rude to ask how much something is. It is always entirely rude and NEVER appropriate! When someone asks that I usually just smile and say "oh, a lot." People, do not ask someone how much something is unless you want to come across as boorish and lacking polish.

Answer 10

My MIL is famous for asking me how much things cost! Everything from what we spend on groceries to cell phones to clothes, etc. It makes me nuts.

I've taken to smiling and replying "enough." (this works for most people - they get the point!) She will invariably persist until I have to say "I'm not comfortable discussing my spending with other people."