anyone else scared of having a 2nd baby??

Question

I am a stay at home mum with a four yr old, he is the apple of my eye and we are very close he gets upset when my husband and i talk about having another child, he starts school in sept and im at a turning point either me and my hubby go for another child or i go back to work part time, we can afford another child but its the care a baby needs that makes me think if i can do it all again and also when my son gets upset i think shall we just keep it the three of us then the next day i think i would love another baby!!!
help my brain will explode soon!!!

Answer 1

Whew! Calm down there. Deep breaths:)
So, have you asked your son why he doesn't want a brother or a sister? The answer may be very simple (perhaps he feels you will not love his as much) and you will be able to calm his fears. Plus, you will get to tell him about all of the wonderful things he can have if he has a brother or a sister--a playmate for example. And someone he can help Mommy and Daddy look after. I think once you feel the support of your son (sounds like your husband is already supportive), you will feel better. I want to share a quote with you that I think will help put your fears at ease as well:

"There is no greater gift that parents can give their children than another sibling."
-Karol Wjotiva

And it's so true! For the rest of their lives, even (God-willing) after you and your husband have passed on, your son will have the friendship and love of at least one more sibling. Does it get any better?

Thanks for reading and God bless! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

Answer 2

YES!!

I have an elven month old. And, I'm 18 weeks pregnant. I'm so scared wondering how I'll care for two. I know I can manage it, but I'm scared I won't be able to keep up with my house work. I'm already running behind...:(((

I'm relishing all my sleep-full nights because I know in 4 1/2 months I won't be getting much sleep! I wonder if it's more difficult now or later.

My mom says the longer the gap the easier it is because the older ones are helpful. They can understand the rules and their behavior is good by that point. Of course, there is always an adjustment. My brother and I were 10 years apart!! It was hard on my sister and I but he's such a great kid I can't imagine life without him!!

Answer 3

I have only one son and never even considered a 2nd as we were all so happy our little unit of 3, but now, I'm just 43 and i really NEED a baby. The age gap is irrelevant - I think siblings love each other what ever and it makes things easier when one is older and can help out and can do a degree, look after themself. As yours would be 5+, that would be much easier and I'm sure if you had a baby he'd love it so much - only natural. So many people have had kids with a small age gap and said it was SO tiring and hard and exhausting that they didn't have much of a life and their marriage took a bashing, but you wouldn't have that. Of course you can do it! If you don't do it now, you'll only do it later as you obviously want one, you're just not sure if it is the right time for you. Hope you decide soon! xx

Answer 4

With your son starting school it would be a perfect time to have another baby as he will soon become much more independent. He will always be your little boy but with plenty of encouragement from you he can also be a big brother and help mum do things for the baby. Keep baby discussions between yourself and your husband, if he can't hear it he wont become upset. Remember it is your decision and your son would quickly adjust.

Answer 5

I do understand your delima. I have a year old son and I'm thinking whether to have a second child or not. The labour was horrible, ( I went natural. What was I thinking!) Sometimes I wonder if I can handle juggling two kids. There are days when I want a second child and there are days I change my mind and say he** no! I can't see myself doing this again. I don't the age gap to be too wide if I do decide to go for it. You sound like you're leaning towards having a second. If you do, don't wait too long. Good luck to you!!

Answer 6

It doesn't make much difference to the siblings what the age difference between them is. The important thing to remember is your first born will need all the reassurance u can give that the baby is an addition not a replacement. Involve them as much as possible making plans for the new baby. Name suggestions etc.

Answer 7

only child, lonely child. if you dont have another baby you may live to regret it, however ,you will never regret going ahead with a new baby. i think most people go through this when trying to decide this. you wonder will you have enough love and attention to go round. you will! if you do decide on another child, the secret is to involve your little boy as much as possible. buy him little presents from his new baby brother or sister and let him know how much fun he will have as a big important brother. good luck!

Answer 8

I have two daughters, one is 8 and the other is 2. There are 6 years betwen them.

When my eldest daughter found out that i was pregnant she was heartbroken, that was until i told her that she would be the big sister. That she would be able to help mummy and that she would be mummy's big girl.

When Madelaine was born i let her help me as much as she wanted and now she loves her sister to bits, she is very protective and very motherly.

Answer 9

Your son will adjust! If you really want another, now is the time...wait too long and they will be too far apart in age to enjoy each other. Trust me, you wait to long and you'll be kicking yourself! Good Luck!

Answer 10

MY SON WAS NEARLY 5 WHEN WE HAD OUR LITTLE GIRL, HE WAS DEAD AGAINST IT FROM THE START UNTIL SHE WAS BORN... HE WOULD WATCH OVER HER DAY & NIGHT, IF I LEFT HER IN THE COT FOR A SLEEP HE WOULD GO & GET HER AND SAY I WAS A BAD MUM FOR LEAVING HER ALONE ..LOL I DONT THINK YOU HAVE A PROBLEM , I THINK IT'S PROBABLY WORRYING YOU MORE THAN HIM.. GOOD LUCK X