How can I fix this?

Question

How do I fix this?
My boyfriend was abused as a child and he's never talked to anyone about it but me.We had a really open,honest and trusting year long relationship before I yelled that he was just like his father in a fight we were having because he felt a co-worker of mine had a thing for me and I was too blind to see it and didn't mention to the guy I was taken.I screwed up badly and I don't know how to fix it.He's nothing like his dad,in fact he's one of the most decent guys I've ever known.He asked me to leave and I haven't heard from him in 2 days.How do I fix this?I used one of the most painful secrets he told me against him and I hate myself for it.What do I do?

Answer 1

You should apologise to him and tell him it was said in anger and that you never meant it and it will never happen again. Ring him, visit him. text him, write him a love letter. Don't wait for him to contact you cos you could be waiting a long time.

Answer 2

Wow! I'm glad you realize your mistake and are willing to correct it. As a former counselor of battered women I can tell you what you did was a awful betrayal of his trust and it won't be easy to correct this mistake. If he won't talk with you I'd suggest leaving him a message stating your regret, asking for forgiveness, and that you're always available to talk when he's ready. Then and this is the hard part... you have to give him time to heal. You can call periodically (not more that once a week) but it's up to him to come back to you now.

Answer 3

hmm u should never throw accusation using the most trusted knowledge of a person. its really hurtful.

anyway what is done is done.
i guess u did it in the spur of anger but did not really mean it.

be honest with him, call him and explain and that you are really regretful about what you did and that you are very sorry and hope he can forgive u.

maybe u could also tell him how much he means to u. give some examples so tat he is reminded of that open trusting relationship and that he feels that he is really something to u.

good luck

Answer 4

Give him some time and next time you are able to talk you best be getting on your knees crying and stuff and beg him for forgiveness. You've really hurt him bad. He hasn't addressed the abuse he endured in his life, and until he does this, he'll always be extremely hurt when confronted with a similar statement or accusation like what you made.

You may or maynot be able to salvage this relationship. It will be up to him and only him if you manage to do this. Like i said you will have to give him time and make damned sure you are sincere while begging for forgiveness for what you have done.

Answer 5

first i think you should go to a psicologist and ask advice on how not to do that ever again.... second i think you should do whatever you can to apologize, not becuase of what happend but of what never again will (he will never tell you or anyone else for that matter is deepest secrets for fear of exactly what u did), after that help him see a therapist... if all else fails MAKE SURE U APOLOGIZE!

Answer 6

write him letters...
leave him messages...
not obsessive though... in a caring and apologetic way!!
he need to be reassured that you know you were wrong
i suggest you also never do that again! hes already had his 2 days to cool off now its time for you just to go a little out of you way for him!! you are the one that made the mistake!

Answer 7

You can't really, you can't take what you said back, nothing. You might try going to his place and apologizing, it might be worth a try, that is if he will talk to you. You should try thinking before you talk. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Just give him some space and let him come around.