...this is one of my fav poem that Ive written...
pls rate it..1/10
It is impossible to capture in words the feeling I have for you.
Yet when I try to tell you them or try to write them to you
the words do not even begin to touch the depths of my feelings.
Just 3 little words dont seem like enough for someone whose smile still brightens my day..
whose touch can make me forget the rest of my world.
But even though ''I love you'' cant express the depths of my feelings for you..
but since it is the best word that there is..
let me tell you a thousand time ...
''I love you'' more than love.
2007-02-06 23:19:10 · 13 answers · asked by Gõlden angel 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
SEAHAWK:never answer anymore of my Q's..and pls leave me alone.
2007-02-06 23:38:05 · update #1
Hi Golden Angel:
Let me know if you like this. I loved your poem but in America it is all about the RHYMING!! You get all your feelings together and you make the words rhyme. Here is your own words in a poem to you and I hope you are not offended because I loved your poem but some people just like for them to rhyme if you know what I mean:
Words cannot capture my feelings for you,
Through the depths of my heart could they only go through,
Your smile and your touch always brighten my day,
You capture my whole world as only you may,
Oh, these three little words to you a thousand times may I say?
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
More and more each day
See? I'm a Poet and didn't know it! lol!
2007-02-07 05:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm quite ok 4/10, add on more you are very bland in descriptions, explain exactly how you feel, not just the fact you think it's more than love explain the feelings you get when he caresses your neck and so forth the more descriptions the better also you ryhming words, here a hint write down evertything you want to say and on a seperate piece of paper start your peom using all that you've written but with rhyming words, i hope it helps
2007-02-07 07:30:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad, I would give you a 6. If you would like to make it a 10 then zero in on describing things, such as:
"Your touch is like a thousand feathers on my body."
Instead of "Whose touch can make me forget the rest of the world." Then it is inferred that his touch would make you forget whatever else is going on, because it is so good.
You should also express what his love does to you. Do you feel beautiful or lit up with a bright passionate fire. Do you ache for him or miss him. And then center the end, like you do, on the only three words we seem to have, "I love you".
2007-02-07 07:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by noncrazed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry.
If 1 is worst and 10 is best, you get a 1.
2007-02-07 07:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good one, I rate it a 5. Tinker with it some more, I am sure you could do even better.
2007-02-07 07:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a good poem.. i rate it 7.. you still have a lot to add on this... and im sure that the time you wrote this poem.. your heart is so happy that it's beyond words of what you feel... Ã keep on going.. keep on writing .... Ã
2007-02-07 07:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by yen yen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP!!!!!!!! Why oh Why do you think you can write poetry? They have all been crap. Bathroom stalls in truckstops have better verse, STOP.
what, can't take a little criticism ? stop posting crap, and I'll stop, but YOU ASKED FOR OPINIONS.
2007-02-07 07:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by SEAHAWK 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
nice nice
i give u 5 cuz i dont know whats more than love
2007-02-07 07:26:09 · answer #8 · answered by lady x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there someone like that in your life...you are lucky. The poem is sweet...thank you
2007-02-07 13:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by dj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seahawks right, you are asking for people's opinions!
2007-02-07 08:14:47 · answer #10 · answered by Karen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋