1 Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm & then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2 If it's a rush job, run in & interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire about how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me & advise me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I'm psychic.
5. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office & really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
6. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
7. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
2007-02-06 21:08:42 · 13 answers · asked by Jay A 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
8. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
9. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
10. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
12. Wait until my yearly review and then tell me what my goals should have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
2007-02-06 21:08:53 · update #1
LOL
10/10
Very good. A very good observation on life/work which many people can relate to.
If I was an employer I would employ you using the conditions of your joke (only joking).
Keep smilin'.
2007-02-06 22:59:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-02-06 21:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. that's management! Minimise your successes and maximise your failings - so you always appear to 'need' their 'expert' advice and feed their insecure egos. And any sign of trouble will cause them to scuttle together like frightened rabbits and gang up on you. They are important and you are nothing, and theres nothing you can do about it.....
2007-02-06 21:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I can really relate to this. LOL, 10/10 for the honesty and truth.
2007-02-06 21:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by Richbitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you used to work in my former office? Well done - very good!
2007-02-06 21:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by Roxy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaa i tink dats so funny. its witty and very true ar u working now how you managing with your rules now
2007-02-06 22:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
and i thought i was the only one treated like a mushroom....kept in the dark and fed loads of bullshit thanks for yours 10/10
2007-02-06 21:20:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sarcastic, witty and damn funny!
2007-02-06 21:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by TOO HOT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol love it!
2007-02-06 21:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R U AT WORK NOW!!I WILL EMAIL THIS TO YOUR BOSS!!..HEHEEH
2007-02-06 21:14:52 · answer #10 · answered by donia f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋