I love this guy and he doesn't want me to love him bc he thinks he'll die... what do i do??
I come from a military background. I am used to figures of my family being overseas and elsewhere. I love families that are apart and still have the desire to want to be together. Military life can be very rewarding. Jim is going to be a Navy Seal. He tells me that he thinks that I deserve a man that is going to be around for things. BUT, the way I see it is this... I love him, and I want to do this, no matter what the circumstance. I am one of those women that can handle this kind of pressure and it excites me. I am very proud of him and want him to succeed. But, I also need to know what I need to do to assure him down the road that I will not cheat and that I will forever be supportive of his decisions? Do I insist? Do I lay off for a while and keep in touch and then gradually show MORE interest. He already knows how I feel and he said that he's willing to go against the odds for me... but he thinks that I will not like it. What do I do? I am going to do this, how do i?
2007-02-06 19:13:29 · 10 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We aren't together. We're both single. He doesn't want to hurt me bc he thinks he will die or he thinks that I deserve someone that will be around. BUT I want to be that girl. He pays attention to me more than others. I know he cares deeply. He looked dreadfully sad when we woke up the last day I saw him. It hasn't been long enough to pass the I Love You's yet. But, it something that I know I will eventually want to do. I've learned that true love comes with time. I just know that he's the one too
2007-02-06 19:13:46 · update #1
I told him that I would rather risk my heart for him than sit back and watch him do this alone. He needs the love and support of a woman - his mother is not happy with him - his friends don't realize the severity of this training and gruelsome process... I come from the military life - I know this is difficult. I know if I send him letters everyday and show him I care he will come around... any other comments?
2007-02-06 19:14:13 · update #2
You have to consider that he can't think about me all the time bc he's getting his *** kicked, and one false move and he's out. He has to remain focused, and before he left he told me that he was worried about my well being wanting to be with him and that he was worried he'd think too much about me and not accomplish his dream.
2007-02-06 19:20:55 · update #3
This is eerily similar to my situation. I leave for the SEALs in a few months, and have been having issues with a female friend of mine. I've known her for awhile and we've recently been getting very close, go figure right before I deploy. We are also at the point where it's not quite that time for the "I love you"'s, but it's not far off. She's also in college and out of state, so it makes it a bit easier not to get too close. For now we are playing it by ear, but we won't be "dating" per sea, more like good friends. It's hard to call it that when you know it's not, but it helps. Although it could be a good thing, a female on a guys mind in the military can also be distracting from his ambitions. SEALs are also discouraged from marriage or dating because of their line of work. I wouldn't suggest it. But what can we do? Whatever happens, keep your head up. Marriages, dating and whatnot have worked before in this situation, it's just tough. Check out this web-site, it has a place for SEAL wives and girlfriend to chat. They may be able to give you some advice.
"Special Operator's Wives (& Family) Forum"
http://www.navyseals.com/community/forums/topics.cfm?forumid=16
2007-02-06 19:35:29 · answer #1 · answered by mr_wizard 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him go to SEAL training. If you have been around the military all your life as you say then you know that only a very few ever become SEALs. He will find out that he won't be sealing his entire career. He will have a career. Just give him some time. Make sure that his reasons for not wanting to be with you is valid and not just an excuse which it sounds like. I was around this type of guy for 20 years as a sailor.
2007-02-06 19:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by George B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really think you're romanticizing it far more than you should. I actually am a military wife and there really is nothing glamorous and exciting about it. Maybe he really isn't that into you and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Take a hint if he cared for you as much as you believe you care for him( which just sounds odd since you say you guys aren't even close enough to exchange I love yous. Really the whole thing sounds strange and obsessive) he'd want to be w/ you regardless of his career path.
2007-02-06 19:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jay K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm in the military and i think must military personal are afraid just like that. And of getting hurt emotionally.So all you ca do is insure him that your there, and you love him. If it's necessary, tell him you can wait to marry him, cause you don't want this money, or anything from him but him.That's all i got. i wish you good luck, cause we as military soldiers need to be happy to, and if you making him happy even if that's one couple that's one couple not a stereotype.
2007-02-06 19:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by pvy_crazy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit him down and be honest about how you feel and let him know that this is who you want to be for him. He will come around give him some time to adjust. Good Luck!
2007-02-06 19:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by LSD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why women always have preference for guys in the navy, army, air force and marine. What about us coast guard ? We are tough, we are brave, and we're funny. We rescue you when you're in trouble. We do the right things all the time for you.
2007-02-06 19:22:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! Marry a Marine. You'll be happier. Just kidding. Never quit. That is what they are teaching him. He is following his dream to be a SEAL, you chase yours. I'd call oprah or Dr. Phil though just to be sure.
2007-02-06 19:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by twism 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's not really into you, dear. Or he loves you, but doesn't want to be committed yet. Give him time, then try again.
Good luck...
2007-02-06 19:26:18 · answer #8 · answered by ira a 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um, sounds like he's simply trying to gently let you know that he's not that interested in being with you. If I were you I would back off, and let HIM chase you. If he doesn't - you have your answer.
2007-02-06 19:18:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
he is a gay boy so dump him now
and call him a retard and a but fuc ker
also he works in the navy
nuf said
2007-02-06 19:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by hellwot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋