With a counsellor?

Question

I am 16 currently, nearing 17, and I have just started seeing my counsellor once again (used to see him like 2 years ago, my mother wanted me to go back when I told her I had polished off a bottle of cooking wine (btw, we are mormon so we don't get like any wine here) and after I answered yes when she asked if I had cut myself again). Anyways, my real question is what sort of things fall under risk to yourself or others? Like, obviously suicide or homicide or attacking someone and stuff, but what else for risk for yourself? Like, if I told him I wanted to cut would he be able to tell my parents? And what if I told him I had started using household products to get high? Could he tell that? I know I shouldn't be doing those things, that's why I'm in counselling, but I just need to know if I can tell him about these sort of things without him telling others? And can he force me to not cut or get high? Thanks for any help =)

Answer 1

He'll only repeat things you tell him if it's absolutely necessary for your physical safety. So if you were telling him you were planning to do something that could kill you (whether you meant it to or not) at a particular time and place, he might tell you parents so they could stop you doing it.

If you tell him about things you've already done it's not the same as telling him you're planning to do it again. Even you did say you're planning to do it again, I very much doubt he'd put cutting or getting high into the catagory of "a danger to yourself or others." I mean, it's not extactly good for you, but it's definitely not on the same level as threatening suicide.

If you tell him you're using household products to get high on a regular basis and it sounds like you're addicted and doing real damage to yourself then he might want to talk to your parents about it, but assuming it's not at the point where you need to be considering residental rehab programs or such then the need for you to be able to trust him definitely outweights the need for your parents to know.

Trust is really important to the therapuetic relationship, and your counselor isn't going to betray your trust unless he believes your life literally depends on it. If you tell him something and he goes and tells your parents, it sets all the work you've done together back quite possibly all the way to where you started. It's not something he'd do at the drop of a hat. Breaking confidentiality because he believes you're in danger is really a last ditch measure because the alternative is that you kill yourself or someone else. It's not something he's going to do because you cut or sometimes get high.

He can't force you to do anything. He'll try to help you stop cutting and stop getting high, but he can't force you to.

I don't know much about getting high off household products, but I can tell you that the cutting at least isn't generally viewed as a very big deal in the medical community, appart from the obvious psychological implications. I cut, and I've had a bunch of doctors see my cuts and not say anything at all about them (except this one surgeon who commented the band-aid I had on one of the cuts was cute), and I told my psychiatrist about it once (I didn't volunteer it - she asked), and she didn't make a big deal of it and hasn't brought it up since. If you're cutting in a way that you're having serious blood loss and needing stitches it might be a differnet story, but if you've been managing to keep it a secrete I doubt it's been putting you in the hospital, so it should be fine.

Answer 2

Damn, some of the answers you received are quite stupid and/or ill-informed. Okay, I know. Here come the thumbs downs. Anyway, a counselor must take reasonable action to inform medical or law enforcement personnel if they determine that there is a probability of imminent physical injury by the client to the client or others or there is a probability of immediate mental or emotional injury to the client.

Now, as far as parental involvement, this is actually between you and the counselor. The counselor must determine if they feel that the parents should be informed of what is discussed. If they decide that the parents do not need to be told what you talk about, this must be documented in your file.

This is something that you need to talk to your counselor about. If the counselor feels that telling your parents everything may jeopardize your treatment, they will definitely decide against it. Given that your mom already knows about the cutting and stuff, I would not worry too much - the counselor is not going to run and tell them your every fear or concern.

He wants you to have a trusting relationship and feel that you can be totally open, so I really think that you should talk to him - they are not allowed to lie to you about what info they may share with your parents.

Except by tying you down,. I am not sure how he could force you to not cut or get high. I have more to say if you want to talk ([e-mail])

Answer 3

Counsellors do not force you to do anything. And generally speaking, they don't tell your parents about anything you tell them unless it is something really imminent your parents need to know ASAP.
Anything the counsellor tells to your parents, he will ask you or tell you that he is telling them first.
I'm sure if there was something you really didnt want your parents to know, he would be willing to discuss other options.
For example, he may encourage you to tell your parents about you "using household products to get high", simply because that is a safety thing that they can help to prevent (by hiding the products or supervising you more etc). However I'm pretty sure as a counsellor, he will be willing to negotiate with you in regards to telling parents. He wouldn't just do it behind your back without your knowledge.
Whatever you do though, do NOT hold anything back from the counsellor, or you will defeat the whole purpose of going in the first place. No matter what, I'm sure your parents will be understanding and maybe it would actually be beneficial to let them know about some things because believe it or not, they might be able to help you through whatever is going on in your life.
Just so you know, a lot of household products or things like paint, permanent markers, liquid paper, cleaning agents etc are even more dangerous than some drugs.
Have you heard of dementia?
Imagine that but at a way younger age.
I'm really glad you have chosen to see a counsellor, but please make it worth it, don't worry about petty things like your parents finding out about stuff you'd rather keep a secret, because that will just hold you back from getting through this difficult time, trust me on this.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email or add me to msn
[e-mail]

Answer 4

By law as well as ethical canons doctors are required to report anything that is or might be considered a risk to you or others. ie: cutting, thoughts of suicide,and chemical abuse.
If it were me, I would ask the counselor specifically what these things might be, and remember that as a minor, your parents have a need and a right to know if there is a danger to you that might be avoided.
As ar as forcing you not to get high, or to cut, why would you want to? Aren't you going to counseling for exactly those reasons
in the first place?

Answer 5

You are seeing a counsellor for help and he can't help you if he doesn't know the truth about how you feel and what you're thinking. I would go ahead and be totally honest with him. Don't worry about what he may or may not tell your parents.

The main goal for you is to get help and get well. Just think how great that would be!
Good Luck!

Answer 6

yes. under child protection laws he must tell the appropriate authorities and let them deal with the situation. this will probly mean child safety coz ur under 18. child safety will see what the sitution needs. are u in a safe environment? if not they will take u to a foster home or to a place where u will be safe. if the situation is bad enough they will put u in hospital or a mental place where u cant hurt urself.

i suggest u stop this now coz when ur in the mental part of the hospital u cant even have knives n forks to eat with or have razors to shave ur legs with.

u need to stop this...NOW!