Easy TEN POINTS! whats your favorite joke?

Question

best gets ten points, and no corniness please

Answer 1

yo mums so poor....

When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.

She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

Burglars break into yo momma's home and leave money.

When I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.

The building society repossessed her cardboard box.

She watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers

She can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

When I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked yo momma what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

When I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'

I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."

I visited yo momma's house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."

Only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...

When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

Closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with a box on it...

She had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Even Beggars give you money.

She bounces food stamps.

She can't even afford to pay attention.

She uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine substitutes.

She uses chewing gum as a band aid.

She lives in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.

She uses white-out as a tooth filler.

She can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in order to mop the floor...

Her idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the 'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!


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Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.

Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like ****.

Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.

Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed.

Answer 2

The way you give someone 10 points is to select their answer as "Best Answer." Yahoo Answers takes it from there. I hope you like my joke "Best." A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were interested, Both said they were very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, they found the UPS man dead on the porch.

Answer 3

An evil genie captured a brunette, a redhead, and a dumb blonde and banished them all to the desert for a week. The genie allowed them each to bring one thing.

The brunette brought a canteen so she wouldn't die of thirst.
The redhead brought an umbrella so she could keep the sun off.
The dumb blonde brought a car door, so if it got too hot out, she could just roll down the window!

Answer 4

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples with a note a Nun posted on it saying, "take only one. God is watching." Moving further down the line there is a pile of cookies at the end of the table. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Answer 5

Thailand News :

Man caught stealing cash from a business after getting stuck in a small window while trying to leave the scene. The man named ' Sumdum Prik ', was taken away by police.

Answer 6

Warning: A little risque.......
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A young couple were married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all
night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower.

He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well.

Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a part of his anatomy.

He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."

And she, in amazement, asked, “What are we going to do for the rest of our lives? Is that all we have left?"

Answer 7

One time, there was a man with a very bad farting problem...his wife told him "if you dont stop farting, your guts are going to fall out of your butt" Well it continued like this for several months, and she was growing sick of it. One day, she woke up early, and went to make lunch...She was gutting the chicken when she got the idea to 'teach him a lesson'. She took all the inards from the chicken, and laid them between the mans legs, so he would think that he had indeed farted his guts out.

Afew hours later, the man came walking out of his room with an odd expression on his face...he was obviously uncomfortable...He said "Honey, you were right about me farting my guts out, and let me tell you, it took me forever to get those suckers back up in there!"

Answer 8

A Englishman,a Frenchman and a Russian are quarrelling about the nationality of Adam.

E: He must be a Englishman ,for he's so brave.
F: He must be a Frenchman, for he's so romantic.
R: He must be a Russian, for he has no food nor clothes,but still lives in a place called Eden.

Answer 9

CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME
WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;

FIX THE LIGHT, NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!


THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT
TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS.
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE
TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKEDME WHAT
WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO
ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?

SHE REPLIED,

HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

Answer 10

A mother and her 6yr old daughter are out for a drive and just than the mother points to a vehicle coming in the opposite direction and says to the daughter,"Thats the man who married me." Puzzled, the daughter looks at her and asks"Than who's daddy?"