My 3 yr old daughter's fish died ...?

Question

My 3 year old daughter has a black goldfish named Elmo and we bought her an orange goldfish to go with it last Wednesday. She named it Grover. Within hours it died. So we told her that my husband took Grover to the fish doctor and we'd go get him tomorrow.

So the next day I went and bought another one just like him. He was doing great until earlier tonight. When she went to bed he was still alive but barely. She thought he was sleeping. A few hours later he died.

I don't want to buy another one. And I don't want to tell her it died because we've already had to deal with the death of our 12 year old dog 10 months ago ... and she still asks for him everyday.

So, what would you tell your child?

Thanks!

By the way ... Elmo is doing great. We've had him since my daughter's birthday, November 3rd.

Him and the fish that died were in a 10 gallon tank with a filter, heater, light ... etc.

Answer 1

Dang this is a hard one, sooner or later you will have to tell your daughter about this fish. Or she'll find out later and it'll come back to haunt u. You can tell her the fish went off to to his parents house. The fish started to get sick, and had to leave. And you don't think he will come back.

Answer 2

jeez something is wrong with the store or maybe the fish conditions. is elmo doing ok? i think i would be upfront that you need to find a better pet store than the one you have now. what are you keeping elmo and grover in? for them to be happy they need about 20 gallons. goldfish can easily kill themselves in smaller spaces with all the waste they produce.

i know you want to do the right thing by your daughter but you have to do the right thing by the fish too. they don't live well in tight spaces especially with others. it turns into survival of the fittest and it looks like elmo is winnning 2/0. how about suggesting a new bigger home for elmo and then trying for another fish? i think she will be thrilled elmo gets a new home.

Answer 3

The truth if you don't want to keep buying fish. You could tell her Elmo doesn't like to share his tank with any other fish and the fish doctor said that Grover has been picked on and wanted to go back to the fish shop.

Answer 4

Boy does this hit close to home. My daughter too is 3 and had a black fish that passed away this morning . We were very honest with her when she woke up she went to the tank like she normaly does first thing in the morning.
We told her that the fishie went to heaven like grammy did .She asked "why"? and my husband told her Everyone and everything goes to heaven someday it was just his time. and she was ok with that and hasnt asked any more questions about it since and that was 4 hours ago. so hopefully that helps you . Honesty is the way to go you would want hher to be honest with you right ?

Answer 5

the truth. it may be hard for her, but as her parents it's your job to get her through tough times. the fish died, all living things die. she is not old enough to fully understand this and this is why she still asks about the dog. there are many great toddler books on death that explains it in a way they can comprehend, i reccomend going to your local bookstore and finding one. explain to her that the fish was very sick, don't use words such as went to sleep, or that you had your dog put to sleep, often this will scare a child of falling asleep and they think they may not wake up. be honest and simple. the fish died. and depending on your family's belief of heaven explain it to her. have her make a picture of what she thinks it looksl like and then tell her that's where the fish and dog went. there are many great poems about rainbow bridge for pet loss. it will give your child a beautiful place that she knows her dog and fish are in. and let her know that another fish or a new dog will not replace the one's she's lost, but will help keep the good times with them alive. do not go get another fish, just simply let her know that the fish died and answer her questions as honest as you can. i do not believe in lying to children about death, nor do i believe in being cold about it either. death is scary enough, but coming to terms at a young age that all living things die will help her when she's older and will unfortunatly deal with death more and more.

Answer 6

The truth. Gently, but the truth.
If you want her trust & respect later, don't lie to her now!

Pets--How Do You View Them? :
~ Animals--A Gift From God
~ Pets--Keeping a Balanced View of Them <*
~ Animals--A Pleasure Forever!
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/2/22a/article_01.htm

Humans--Just Higher Animals? :
(humans vs animals, etc)
http://watchtower.org/e/19980622/article_01.htm

When Someone You Love Dies:
- Helping Children Deal With Death
http://watchtower.org/e/we/index.htm

“The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth”
http://watchtower.org/e/20041001/article_02.htm

"Make sure of all things; Hold fast to what is fine." 1 Th 5:21

Advanced Search
http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm
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Answer 7

Give the kid some credit. Don't keep buying more fish! Tell her, let her grieve and mourn. You will be teaching her two important things: that all living things die and that mourning a loss is normal, healthy, and it's okay.

Bless her little heart-it's tough learning all these lessons! Thank God she has parents who love her & care enough to teach her.

Answer 8

Some times we all need to take that deep breath and sit down with our child or children and just be honest even though it hurts so much in cases like that as well as most other cases..I would tell my child the truth.Only the truth will mend.

Answer 9

what sort of filter out do you have? If its a canister filter out then you are able to cheat, as quickly as the nutrition is on the backside, by attaching the gravel vacuum to the filter out you have your guy or woman potential vacuum. only be sure to not pull any gravel up with the nutrition. that way you do not might desire to muck approximately with buckets and such, you will only might desire to bathe the sparkling out faster is all. If its a HOB (draw close on lower back) form like an Aqua sparkling, then its off to the buckets as quickly as the nutrition settles. On a component notice, do you have any backside feeders or greater fish? if so go away it for an afternoon and enable them to consume themselves stupid then sparkling out something. the only family individuals of fish which could go through any harm from over eating is the goldfish family individuals, as they have not have been given any abdomen and for this reason will consume till they explode (they actually do, I by probability did that once i grew to become into somewhat youthful, like 4 years previous). the two way do not concern approximately it too lots as your fish will consume what they choose and whats left you get to freshen up. Even your Plecos will consume countless the flakes. FYI i in my opinion over feed my fish so anybody gets to consume, and then there is stuff for the backside feeders to root around for. If its a floating form of nutrition, the internet is your ultimate chum, that takes persistence is all. might I recommend you save the nutrition away out of your daughters attain next time. How enormous is the tank, over 30 Gallons your ok for a speedy time. under that, get on it as quickly simply by fact the nutrition settles, it many times in basic terms takes a jiffy reckoning on the filter out and water pass.

Answer 10

my son's snail died. I told him that the snail went on vacation. I eventually replaced the snail so my son thinks he's back now. You could always tell your daughter that her fishy had to go home to be with it's mommy and daddy. or that it had to go help his other fish friends do something?