What the youngest you would take a child to a funeral?

Question

My daughters father complained that I took her to my grandmothers funeral. He didn't say anything about not wanting her to go until after it was done and over with. I talked to him before we went and while I was at the funeral home. He makes no since to me. Please let me know if he does to you.
Our daughter is 4 and she didn't even go near the body. They had a separate room that all the kids stayied in during the cerimony. He won't listen to me on that though.
At what age would you take a child to a funeral and what age is it safe to teach a child about death?

My children have lost pets any we have told them and my son's father is passed on so my son knows about death it's just my daughters father wants to keep her in the dark about everything.

Answer 1

I would say that 4 is the right age. the first one I went to was my great grandmother's and I was almost 4. you daughters father is being unreasonable. just last week one of the older Lady's in the church died. I went to run the sound system for the funeral and I saw 3, 4, 5 and 7 year old's there. so it is no big deal.

Answer 2

My mother died last year and I (of course) took my children to the funeral, as well as to the viewing to see their grandmother. My youngest was 4 at the time. I feel any age is fine, it's a good teaching tool and let's them understand death and not be so afraid of it, or seeing someone who has passed away. I know that when I was a kid I was about 8 or so and went to my first funeral, and I don't know why I thought this but I thought that the person that had died would be all bloody. I obviously hadn't been talked to about death before that, or how the person would be viewed. Anyway, it was good for my children to see that their grandmother looked at peace, and to say goodbye to her. My now 5 year old still talks about his grandma and her being in heaven. It was a good experience for all of my children.

Answer 3

I remember going to my great grandmother's funeral when I was only 4. Children need to learn early that every living thing that the father makes, must go back to the father. I don't know if that helps you. That's looking at it in a religious sense.

My step daughter went to my brother's funeral. She wanted to understand why she would never see him again, and she was 4 at the time. It brings closure and if she had other children there also sharing their loss then that was even better. You did the right thing. I hope one day her father will see that.

Best of luck, and my sincere condolences.

Answer 4

I was angry with my wife at my grandmothers' funeral, because she just let the kids do coloring books in the pew at the church, in front of all of the mourners. After I thought about it for awhile, that was probably the best thing to do. They kept quiet and weren't wandering around or getting out of hand because they were bored. They were ages 3 and 7 at that time. I would say any age is okay to take children to a funeral, but make sure you tell them that it is very serious and perhaps make a backup plan like coloring books. I wish they would've had a seperate room for my grandmother's funeral.

Answer 5

Any age. Some people shelter their kids too much, death is a natural part of life.
The first funeral I went to was when I was three, and it didn't upset me at all. The only funeral that really freaked me out was when I was fifteen and I went to a little kid's funeral. Most of the time when you go to a funeral the person thats dead is an adult, so seeing a little kid laying in a coffen was upsetting to me.

Answer 6

I don't know what age I would take a child to a funeral...it never came in our family as far as family memebers dying when my daughter was young. None of our pets died until she was older, we had our dog put down (age, seizures) she was there with me in the Vet's office when the injection was given. She was 11. Her guinea pig died, she found him, She was about 12 our cat died, she helped me carry the body to our "pet cemetary" and bury her. She went to her first human funeral (great Grandfather's) when she was 14.
My sister took her oldest daugther to her mother in law's funeral when my niece was two, it never had any bad effect on my now 24 year old niece. It depends on the child, and how well the parent knows their child to determine the effect a funeral and seeing the dead will have on the child. Had it been my child she would have been viewing the body along with me. But my daugher could have handled it.

Answer 7

If the child was in a seperate room and not causing a fuss I dont see the problem. I took my son to a funeral of a step relative at the age of 6. It helped him learn about death without the shock of seeing someone he was close to. Your daughters father seems to be complaining to hear himself complain.

Answer 8

Any age is appropriate for family members. My daughters were 4 and 9 months old at their grandmothers funeral.

Answer 9

The youngest child that I would take to a funeral is 10, maybe a mature 8. However, my 2 year old daughter and 7 and 3 year old stepsons went to their baby brother's funeral in 1998. My wife and I had left them at my parents' house and they brought them. All three of them saw their brother lying in state; many tears flowed that day.
I really don't think that they were harmed emotionally in any way by going, but I still think that was too young, though.

Answer 10

when my husbands father died my kids where 10,7,6 and 6 months i took the all and they sat though the service at my side they where quiet and respect full till the priest lite the incense my 6 y/o "yelled mom somethings on fire we have to get out " people laughed but my husband was so mad he wouldn't talk to me for days his brother and sisters told me not to worry about it he was just 6 and worried we would all be hurt by the fire my husband got over it


at what age should you take then ....when someone they love dies they need to say good-by to