My pa-in-law is spoiling my 2 year old son, saying yes to all he says. How can I politely request him not to?

Question

I have a very cordial relationship with him otherwise, but I simply do not agree with him here. Whenever my little one misbehaves i stop talking to him and that works, he'd come to me and say sorry. But this does not happen when his grandpa's around, because he would take him to his play room if I'm angry....

Answer 1

If you have a very cordial relationship with him, then you should be able to politely sit down with him and tell him that you love the closeness that he and your son have, but you , as your son's mom , are going to have to draw some boundaries. Tell him that by saying yes to every thing his grandson wants, he is spoiling him too much. Tell him that you do not want to spoil the closeness that you and he have, but you will have to step in from time to time and be the mean mommy and say "NO" sometimes. That this also means that when your son is grounded, it is not time to spend with grandpa, it is time to be grounded. That grounding is a punishment and not time for fun with grandpa. Tell your pa-in-law that and he shoudl understand. Remember his feelings and that he will fear that you are taking his grandson away from him as you do this, so you will need to reasure him that you are not doing so, just asserting your natural authority as his mother. You and your Pa-in-law need to sit down and talk this one out. It will work out fine. You will see.

Answer 2

You cannot politely say this. You can try but no matter what words you use it's not going to come across as polite. You simply to say that this is your child and your rules. If grandpa refuses to follow your rules then grandpa doesn't get much time with grandson. It's not about being polite when it comes to the way you raise your child. Be strong and be firm and don't worry about grandpa's feelings, keep worrying about your son and the man he will grow up to be because you are a parent who cares enough to do a good job!

Answer 3

Its a grandfathers job to spoil their grandchildren. They don't see their grandkids everyday and when they do all they want to do is spoil the heck out of them. It is the parents job to discipline the kids and the grandparents job to spoil them. In the years ahead when you have your own grandkids, you'll understand. I have 2 kids myself and they are blessed with 2 grandmothers, 2 grandfathers and a Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother, and everyone of them spoils them. I let them because it brings them so much joy and it is not an everyday occurrence. It is your job to discipline your son whether or not the grandparents are around. If what you are doing doesn't work, you need to think of another discipline technique such as timeouts. Disciplining your kid by not talking to them will stop working eventually anyway. You can't tell the grandparents not to spoil their grandkids. If he is doing something that could harm your child, then talk to him. But if its just over minor stuff, like a saying yes to candy or to buy him a toy, let it go.

Answer 4

Well, since you get along with eachother he most like understand where youre coming from when you talk to him. Just wait until he does it, pull him to the side, and politely explain to him the process you have with your son where he apologizes and everything and how you believe it works, etc. and that whenever you and your son are doing that, he (your father in law) shouldnt spoil him by playing with him. You nkow him better than I do, so you can definitely put these into words that he'll understand and wont be offended by. Good luck.

Answer 5

A good heart to heart talk would help. Just focus on how you are trying to get your son to learn to behave appropriately and ask him to help you with this also. If he adores your child then he will help you with this.