How can I tell him that he is causing me so much pain?

Question

I am in love with this guy, he knows how I feel and we have a close relationship. But I want to let him know how much pain(of not being with him) he causes me without being selfish or making him choose between me and his once again girlfriend who he doesnt get along with. I want to let him know, but how?

I am in love with this guy, he knows how I feel and we have a close relationship. But I want to let him know how much pain(of not being with him) he causes me without being selfish or making him choose between me and his once again girlfriend who he doesnt get along with. We went through a period of not talking and he told me how much it killed him for us not to talk. I try to move on but those other guys never match up, i always find myself comparing them to him. I want to let him know what this is doing to me, but how?

Answer 1

Yikes!Tough one. I would tell this guy that you love him too much to see him get hurt with this other girl.And honestly, you should tell him how much this is breaking your heart. Having said that, I think that after you've told him all this you guys should take a break.Even from friendship.Let things cool a bit. Maybe he doesn't know what it's like to not have you in his life. Give him a chance to miss you...seriously, sometimes you have to let people make mistakes on their own,he'll come back to you eventually.Patience my dear, lots of patience on this one. Don't make any rash decisions or act out of scorn, or spite. It might feel good at first but in the end, you'll only hurt yourself, AND your chances of ever being together. Hang in there....

Answer 2

Maybe the best thing for you to do is tell him that it's too hard for you to spend time with him while he's dating this girl because you're in love with him and it causes you too much pain. And that you want to be happy for him since he's happy (even if you don't think he is) but that you just can't handle it and you may have to spend less time with him so that you can move on with your life. What this will do is make him make a decision...if he really wants you...then it won't be long after that that he'll let you know. And if he doesn't, then I really would move on and let him go. Get yourself a boyfriend. :)

Answer 3

True Love doesn't mean you hafta be with that someone. Sometimes, we are more influencial to a person than their partners. We almost always listen more to our friends than our bf/gf.
He knows how you feel but maybe he's not sure if he wants to risk that friendship the 2 of you share now for a relationship which, if it sours, will mean the end of a lovely friendship??
Being a friend has so many plus points- if he has problems with his gf/family he might seek you out, if he has questions he might ask you, if he has something he wants to do but she doesn't, you're his 1st choice!! and usually, sharing those moments are so much more enjoyable than being an official gf.
;)
think about it.

Answer 4

Tell him. So many people go through life not speaking their mind. But be prepared if he doesnt feel the same way. Especially if he is with someone right now. but once you have planted that seed he may soon realize that you know what why am i taking this **** from someone that i dont get along with , we fight all the time and yet here i have someone i can chill with and she adores me. But it wont always end happy so just be prepared. But if you dont say something you will go through life asking yourself what if?

Answer 5

If he has a girlfriend, leave him alone. There will be less pain if you cut off contact with him. I know, you will hate this advice, but it's true! Stealing someone's man is NOT the right thing to do! And for your own sake, get away from him and find someone else... I know all about wanting someone I can't have and if you get away from that person and get someone new, the pain fades away.

Answer 6

I don't think there is a way to say it.

He has a girlfriend, right? Leave him alone. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it's what you should do. If you're meant to be with him, it will happen. Don't be responsible for breaking up his current relationship. That never gets things off on the right foot.

Answer 7

Honey, i'm in the same situation as ur bf. I have a man that Iove, also a long time boyfriend that I'm havin on and off trouble with. Maybe he's just waiting 4 things 2 turn around and, unfortunatley he's...I dont wanna say using u; but he has u around 2 compensate 4 wut him and his gurl dont have. My advise, is 2 get out of it. Otherwise its ultimatum time. U deserve betta...dont let him use u like I'm doing. In the long run, u will b the 1 that gets hurt

Answer 8

I think it is useless letting him know about your pain. He already knows how you feel so he imagines your pain. It is really pointless talking about your pain. About his girlfriend, he is with her for some reason or in other way he would of been alone right?
Letting him know about your pain is selfish, let him be happy with his bad relationship and move on!!!

Answer 9

How do you know they aren't getting along? Let him straight , not short cuts, be sincere and honest, don't tell him he's causing you pain because he's not, you are causing pain to your self since you are the one who's having those thoughts, tell him the love you feel for him.

Answer 10

The actual soreness is led to interior the process the strain of grief. it may modern-day itself in unusual approaches. i latterly lost an intensive family individuals member, and as quickly as I have been given the information I grew to alter into dizzy, and my palms and face grew to alter into numb and commenced to tingle. I had to park my motor vehicle and relax my head to stay away from passing out, yet this actual soreness/feeling lasted for practically an hour, then it finally went away. different individuals in my family individuals had issues, ill to abdomen, yet somebody else had chest soreness, and the next day I had an outstanding sort of tightness in my lower back. rigidity is an ordinary element, led to by many numerous issues and having many unusual outcomes. consequently that's significant shrink rigidity in existence, yet while some thing like grief all of sudden occurs, specifically circumstances that's quite severe and not something we are able to do approximately it different than permit it take its organic course.