Are there any suggestions on how to get my child to sleep in her own bed?

Question

My 3 and a half yr old daughter does not want to sleep by herself in her own bed. She crys when it is bed time, and when she does fall asleep, she wakes up every two to four hours. She tries to take a nap around 6pm on a nightly basis. But I do not let her because then she won't fall asleep until 1am, after the nap. I have tried everything from movies, to bathtime, and nightlights, nothing works. I used let her sleep with me every night, until recently. Now I cannot get her to make the separation. She is very attached, and now I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

I would say first thing is do not turn it into a battle of her "winning" or you, maybe? it almost sounds as if you are "fighting" her to make her do something... that age I found that the more I want to exert my will? my children have decided they suddenly want the opposite... my oldest I had to almost sleep on her bed.. I would read her five books to start... we cut out one a week till we had only two... I would sing two lullabies and then I would sit on her bed till I saw her drifting and slowly I woul dmove to the floor.. she would watch and drift.. and watch and drift... I would wait a good ten minutes later of listening to even breathing and then sneak out.... my second and third children... they were a little easier.. each their own "needs" one water and one a light.. one the door open.. one closed.. but little things...the next that gave me a problem, I would have to say was fourth... she shared my bedroom (at the time, four children, three bedrooms...) her crib and then toddler bed in our room... and so when I set up her room (almost two yers now) I allowed her a hand in decorating... and putting "treasures" in secret spots... she shares a room with one of her sisters... and I made sure all her dresses were hanging just right (she's a little fussy?) lol...

she only started sleeping there though about four months ago... at first, I made her get into the bed nightly... but with the back and forth.. in my room.. waking everyone... it was turning quickly to a battle.. and I found I had the losing team! I decided to give her the lead.. so I told her she could sleep in my room as long as she wanted.. she started going into her room every other day.. and then daily.. during the day.. to be alone, to play... and even at times nap.. but every night when she gave me a kiss and went off to bed (she likes to be the "big" girl and not have mom follow right away) I would go up to tuck and make sure no one was reading only to find her sound asleep on my bed... I gave it a few months of her thinking that was the end.. she got her way....the started using the transitional item... I "let her sleep with her stuffed horse (huge one) or dog <---- real big too... in my bed... and then I got sneaky.. after she fell asleep? I would move her and the stuffed animal over to her room... some nights it worked.. some it did not... but? after a few months it was going great... we used her star chart (chores really.. sshhhh) to make a smiley face for each night she went to bed from start to finish in her bed... and when she filled the chart (one month) she got a special treat... she wanted gum... lol. I lucked out! and now every time she fills the whole chart with smileys? she gets a treat of some sort..

this way is slower.. but it is almost as if she thinks she made the choice... and not me.. so she is very happy to go to her own room... maybe some or all of this might help in getting your little lady off to her own domain?
good luck

Answer 2

Well, if you are a stay at home mom you need a routine. wake up about the same time in the morning take a nao at the same time everyday and also the same time for bed. It might help to make a star chart for her. you can hang it on the refridgerator that way she can put the stickers on it herself. Give stickers for things like ate breakfast ate lunch took nap in own bed took bath, etc. And when she reaches the end of the week you should do a fun activity together. Like maybe finger painting. I do not reccomend buying new toys because as she gets older she will grow to expect it. Just do something that you normally would not do. Most children that have a hard time falling asleep at night are overtired. She needs a nap during the day. My daughter takes a nap as soon as lunch is over. You might have to explain to her that you are going to be right there in the next room. If she does not want to go to sleep you need to just put her in bed and let her cry it out. After about 10-15 minutes she should go right to sleep. It is important that you do not go in there no matter how bad you feel. It will only teach her that if she cries you wont make her stay in there by herself. After dinner set up a routine also dinner, bath, teeth, book, hugs and kisses, and night night. and do the same as you did with the nap. my daughter is only 21 months and she sleeps in a toddler bed and has for a while and rarely gives me any problems. If it is a security issue try to take her to the store and let her pick out her own night time animal that she can sleep with that way if she gets scared all she has to do is hug the teddy bear. the same would work with a new blankie. Good luck. And dont give up!

Answer 3

It's a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. This is a case of tough love. Let her nap early in the afternoon, but at bed time don't give in. Try and make it fun for her. Try making it fun for her. You could try getting a chart and explain to her that every night she sleeps in her bed she gets to put a sticker on her chart. After a week or so, reward her with a trip to play at Mc Donalds or a new toy. A friend of mine used that method for potty training. Her son was a very difficult case. He wanted a dog, so each day he went without and accident he got a sticker. At the end of the week, if he had very little accidents, they would go pick out an accessory. And it continued until he had no accidents and a new dog.

Answer 4

When my children were babies I had their crib in my room. When it was time for a toddler bed I moved the crib out and put the toddler bed it's place. After a few weeks of sleeping there I then moved the toddler bed out to their own room. I always tucked them in and the first few nights I even stayed in their room with them till they went to sleep. I also left a night light on in the hallway so they would be able to find their way to me if they needed to. A lot of times they did end up coming back to my bed in the middle of the night but eventually they finally got used to it and started staying in their rooms all night. Now the only time they come to my room in the middle of the night is if they are sick. Good luck and just remember to have patience with them. They grow too fast as it is.Let them know that you will always be there for them if they need you.

Answer 5

put the bed in your room and lay next to her when she goes to bed. Once she gets use to that move the bed in her room. Maybe even lay in her room if she still needs you too.

I did this with my 2 yr old daughter when she was about 18 mos old and shes been sleeping in her room for 4 months now. Sometimes i still have to lay beside her bed and scratch her back or something until she falls asleep. Just be patient and persistant.

Answer 6

Try to sit next to her when she goes to bed. Let her know that you're there but don't give her too much attention. I do this with my daughter and she asleep within 15Min's. Change her schedule alittle so she takes naps about 1pm or so. I know it's easier said then done, but give it some time and it will get better.

Answer 7

Its normal.
Tell her stories where you can convey the beauty of being independent . Ensure the story is around a beautiful girl child she can relate to. I did it kind of worked.
Put a god 's picture near her bed . Tell her that this god loves her the most and will protect her always. Also she needs to understand that this god is more powerful than her own parents.
Show her child movies like home alone where the child is brave hence got appreciated.
Endure all at home speak the same language.
No gifts to her till she is independent

Hope it works.. write to me if you need more ideas.

Answer 8

On Supernanny there was a family like this. You cannot let her sleep in your bed again! She knows if she cries enough you will give in. Just let her cry in her bed until she falls asleep, if she gets out put her back and say tell her big girls sleep in their own beds and you are a big girl now... or something similar. Keep doing it as many times as it takes. Also, no sugar or caffeine for six hours before bed. It may take a few nights, but if you stick to it she will learn that she won't get her way anymore.

Answer 9

a short fantasy story before sleeping and a good amount of soft toys in her bed will help.pat her on her forehead and softly move your hand all over her hair.remain with her; patting her till she falls asleep and put a quilt over her.kiss her goodnight and she will have a good sleep throughout the night.

Answer 10

I would love to know this answer because I have the same problem with my 21 month son and my 9 month daughter..yeah we all sleep in the bed with my husband. So you can say we all are warm...(smile)