im seein the guy that treated me like crap again... but hes really nice now!!! im really happy now but there is this other guy and he is soooo nice to me.we have been friends forever.he is kind of involved with stuff that i dont want to be apart of though.im so confused who do i pick
2007-02-06 15:38:55 · 11 answers · asked by Becca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the guy im with now used to abuse me mentally and sometimes hit me but it was really rare.he has told me i am a fat whore and i need to lose weight : (... the other guy has never touched me or said anything mean
2007-02-06 15:41:19 · update #1
um im still confused after i got these answers so i guess i should add that i love them both... the one that is into "stuff" well i dont THINK he would ever let me get involved with those things... i suppose u all are write about the how he is just gonna hurt me again!
2007-02-06 16:24:29 · update #2
I definately would NOT choose the one who abused you in the past, it is very likely he will do it again. He may be nice to you now till he thinks he has you securely. As for the other guy, do you have any interests that you are both into? Do you have any interest he is not into? If so, cultivate that relationship--you can be a couple and still be individuals doing separate things. Do your thing when he does his, and do things togeather that you both like. However, if the stuff he does that you are not into is illegal, he is not a good choice either.
2007-02-06 15:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by Katykins 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy who treated you like crap changed just for some time, just for now until he feels sure about you. He will be the same again girl, it is a matter of time.
The other guy treats you fine...I think you should choose the second guy because the other only changed for a little while. Abusers never change.
OH OH
I just noticed you said involved with stuff
You better stay alone.
2007-02-06 23:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by C6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy that abused you needs to go. If it is in him to call you those names and hit you then he will again some day. Sorry but that is the way it is. No matter who you are or what you do, you dont deserve to be treated like that.
The guy that is involved in things you dont want to be part of is no good for you either.
My suggestion is you work on you for a while. Figure out how to be happy with yourself. Then go find a guy that doesnt treat you bad AND doesnt do things you dont want to be part of.
Dont try to change a guy or expect that he will change.
Dont listen to words a guy says look at present and past actions to tell you who he is.
You sound co dependent and maybe some low self esteem. Maybe you need to go to a counselor or CODA classes.
Life is to short to be with these types of guys.
AGAIN>>>no matter who you are, you deserve better!!!!
2007-02-06 23:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by justme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's more than two guys in the world. Sorry you don't like the answers you are getting. One right answer out there is "abusers never change." They don't on their own, and they relapse even with counseling. You want to live the rest of your days with a batterer? A recovering batterer? It's your life. Another right answer out there says you're better off on your own. For the time being, that sounds like a winner. No need to mess with a guy who is into stuff you don't want to be into. He'll drag you in, and you'll hate yourself more later. Hey, you hate yourself enough already...too much.
I vote...pick NONE OF THE ABOVE. Your heart will recover.
2007-02-14 19:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by shakey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's just say don't be with the guy that is involved in stuff... YOu will be pulled into it. Stay with the guy that is nice now; however, make sure he has changed. Why don't you first start of as friends? It's just a suggestion. Whatever you do do NOT be w/ the guy who does stuff. Why would u want to fcuk up your life? Don'tttttt
2007-02-06 23:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by xratedmami05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who do you love?
You cant expect to have a relationship with someone if you dont potentially see a future together. In the end you will all get hurt.
It sounds like you might just be afraid of being single, i could be wrong. :)
2007-02-06 23:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by takiah_3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the old bf and you said the other guy is involved with stuff that you don't want to be apart of.
time to find guy #3.
2007-02-06 23:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you somewhat a masochist? imagine allowing yourself to be hit? as for your question as to who do u choose? one is nice but involved with "stuff" while the other treated u like a crap but is nice now wow leave them both. no good for you
2007-02-06 23:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by frauline1999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is kinda ovioious. pick the nice boy! i kno the other one changed but think about it? he was mean to you before? and if was mean to you before he is bond to do it again. so i say ditch old guy and go for the new one. good luck<3
2007-02-06 23:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by sassysnrta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u have to ask the question than neither, u need to pick neither.
2007-02-06 23:41:23 · answer #10 · answered by ... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋