how can i be a good alcholic ?

Question

any tips

Answer 1

Presumably by not being a bad one, therefore, while under the influence, remember the following:

1. To walk by putting one foot in front of the other - resist sideways motion.

2. Try to monitor voice volume at all times - turn it down from 11 to around 5.

3. Seek friends who will laugh at your outrageous, cruel and abusive insults.

4. Tone down the regular collisions with lamp posts, walls, etc - they can really sting in the morning.

5. Try not to pick fights with fellow drinkers who are bigger than you - you know it makes sense.

6. Always have a non drinker with you at all times to recall the various hilarious antics you get up to - mooning at nuns, urinating in the middle of a packed high street, "singing" loudly at police officers, swearing loudly at police officers, throwing up in the back of the police vehicle, the happy times spent overnight in the cells, etc.

7. Get a well paid job to comfortably pay for the lifestyle - the drink, the damage, the fines, etc. Be sure that this employer doesn't need you there most of the time.

8. Do not ever attempt to dance however strong the urge.

9. Try very hard to live on your own. This lessens the chance of causing severe emotional problems and all the baggage that can occur. You'll end up living on your own anyway.

10. Always use waterproof bedding. Very important.

Follow these tips and you should be okay. Don't forget to not spill any...

Answer 2

If ever two words were meant never to be put in proximity then "Good" and "Alcoholic" are they. The only possible answer to your dilemma would be to never touch a drop because, paradoxically, in order to be a "Good" alcoholic or drug addict would be to abstain because anything other than that is bad.

I do accept that you are trying to be clever in your choice of words and you are probably pis*ed at the moment so maybe after a few years of vomitting all over yourself or blacking out and waking up in police cells wondering what you have done and if it was serious you will realise that it is not something to wish on even your worse enemy.

You might say that is not and will never be me - well I hope so because the only good alcoholic is one who gets the message and goes off to some elephants graveyard somewhere because all the others drain the life out of their families and friends and are good for nothing. I am trully sorry if that seems unnecessarilly harsh, but I have known too many and the pain that their denial has cost other people is beyond measure.

Answer 3

A good alcoholic. Hey, the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem.
Well I've never been a good alcholic. Hell, I've never been a good drunk, I was always busy taking care of the people who were awesome at it.

A few things I've learned from observing:
-Don't eat anything before you drink. This will greatly enhance your chances of vomitting (blood, mind you), alcohol poisoning, and getting acquainted with your local hospital.
-Shot glasses? Hah. Use those big red plastic party cups. Now that's a shot glass.
-Drink everything warm. This allows you to savor the unpleasant taste and spit out expensive liquid.
-Steal everyone else's drink... even when they're not done with it.
-And just when you're starting to feel drunk, find (if you're able) someone's car keys, drive (if you're still able) in a place where there's preferably lots of people (like a freeway), and be the cause of major accident and consequently, major traffic congestion. Hey, at least you get to be on the news.

Enjoy!

Answer 4

Heres my tips

Get a blood test done so that you have hard proof that drinking to much booze does alot of damge to your body .

Vonlenter at a Hospital on wenday-sunday nites and you should see the damge it can deal like a driver that has been driving under the infus of alcohol and huts himself + over people or kills them and see all the people that get serriey hurt or killed from the fights when they have been drinking.

If you still want to be a alcholic drink 20 beers, a bottle of wine and 20 shots of vodka in one nite and then rember the fealing of how the following day how you just want the pain of the hang over to pass. Every time that you want to drink.

Answer 5

Take your time & don't puke.
That's what I do.

So far I've had 7 shots of whiskey in about 2 1/2 hours and 2 cans of coke, I only weigh 125.
I'm good for now, I might have some more in a while.

Answer 6

1st point learn to drink and spell at the same time if u want to hide it!!
then spend all yr money on beer and wine maybe a tot of whisky too fall down and sleep in the nearest place available night after night sod the mortgage and bills just buy more booze and volla yr at least half way there

Answer 7

Live, breathe and sleep alcohol. Have whiskey on your breakfast cereal, drink on the sly at work, nick down to the pub during your lunch break and then just drink the rest of the day away.

Also, it is very important to prioritize alcohol over food.

Answer 8

Weel, spend every dime you have on alcohol, let the bills slide..cure hang over with another beero r liquor of your choice...cook with it, lets see..learn to fall and NEVER spill a drop, sell things off for money to buy alcohol..I could go on and on..I lived with one..

Answer 9

Come spend a week with me and i'll show ya!

Only kidding!

As a licensee i promote sensible drinking.... but where would i be without the alkies!!?? lol.

Answer 10

tell you what you obviously don't know the damage alcoholism does to your life and your family and all of the people around you there ain't a good alcoholic mate it don't exist