How can I learn to support myself in my decisions?

Question

I can not take a stand and make my own decisions. I tend to listen to others viewpoints too much.

My parents, uncle and cousin say one things and I believe it. Then, my daughter, ex-husband and mother-in-law say another thing and I believe it.

How can I learn to be my own support and believe in my decisions so that I don't get swayed and follow one path only?

Answer 1

It is difficult to trust in yourself that you are making good choices. Especially if you are used to relying on other's opinions. Start by not asking for their opinions and making those decisions without them. That way you won't have the added confusion of their information making you doubt yourself. Generally, our first instincts about things are correct. Go with that and stick with it. Don't change your mind because of others. It will be hard at first, but eventually you will learn to trust in your own opinions. And, don't be upset if you make mistakes- we all do and then we do better.

Answer 2

I have caught myself doing the same thing. I fix the problem by doing research into the issue if possible and figuring out what I think is the truth. You have already made a big step in realizing you do this so now that you are conscious of it you can work on it. It took my husband pointing it out to me to figure it out. I didn't believe him at first but it got me to pay attention and I soon realized I did. Now he regrets pointing this out to me because I no longer always agree with him. As far as believing in your own decisions go, you can listen to everyone, everyone will give you a different answer for things usually, and no matter what one you take you will be criticized by someone. Just use your own head, it is VERY hard at first, but the more you do it the better you get at it. Even if you make the wrong decision, at least it was YOUR decision, and when YOUR decisions turn out to be the right ones it feels so good. If I can change and start making my own decisions anyone can. Its like when you first learn to drive, you are nervous and scared to death but after awhile it feels natural and you cant imagine why you were ever afraid.

Answer 3

It IS important to listen to a lot of viewpoints, because then you can tell how YOU feel about it by how you react to them. You do have to ignore tone and personality though, and that is not easy. But hearing arguments from both "sides" allows you to SEE both sides. So no matter which way you lean or decide, you will have respect and understanding for those who concluded otherwise.

However, it's true that this can make you indecisive. You can keep "needing" to "research" more and more, and be unwilling to take a stand until you are sure you are right, correct. But that is rarely possible! I think you need DECIDE to decide, and to take time alone to do so. You also need to allow yourself to be wrong, and to perhaps change your mind later, based on events, knowledge, whatever...

BUT -- all that being said -- the example you give is that of one side of the family lining up against the other side, and you being battered in the middle. If that is the case, you need to distance yourself emotionally from the type of issues that are polarized to begin with. You can be noncommital with some of these people; with others, you will need to discuss things and IT IS VALID that you see and can argue both sides. This should give you the confidence that you will be making the best decision possible.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Believing in many opinions is good.. It can help you considering your decision.. Hear them, and you can decide what's best for you.. Don't push yourself too heart.. Just believe that you're the one who make the decision and you're the one who take the risk.. Dont let anyone else make the decision and you take the risk by yourself..

Answer 5

Karna grew to become right into a annoyed guy, as he grew to become into not recognized as a super warrior, simply by his lack of ability to song his mothers and dads. Duriodana familiar him as his chum, extra for his skills to combat against Arjuna, than simply by fact Duriyodana grew to become into beneficiant. Karna have been given his recognision from Duriyodana, and subsequently stayed with him. His determination has a egocentric purpose. on the different hand, Vibhishana grew to become into nicely recognized as a crown prince and in no way had any frustration. He desperate to go away Ravana, his own brother, as he felt Ravana grew to become into committing Adharma or incorrect approaches of living. He desperate to section and connect Sri Rama to repair Dharma. for this reason Vibhishana's action is extra suitable to Karna.

Answer 6

it will come in time don't worry =)

just try to be a leader not a follower =)