low self esteem, fear, for the children
there scared to be alone there scared of what he would do if you left
2007-02-12 17:58:25
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Some women stay because they don't know any better. They might think that is how a relationship suppose to be. Some stay for the children and they totally depend on their partner. Men have a way of destroying a woman mentally to the point where they can't do anything else but stay. Some women stay because they are not ready to face the world but believe me when the time is right they will move on. When they say enough is enough, they will do whatever it takes to get out of the abusive relationship.
2007-02-14 10:22:14
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answer #2
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answered by Ester C 1
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A lot of factors keep women in abusive reltionships...fear, shame, hopelessness...its an awful cycle.
Some women stay out of fear...that he will harm the children or other family members. Some stay because they are too ashamed to tell anyone what is going on. Some stay because they are too broken spiritually and emotionally to find the strength to leave. Some stay because they feel they don't have a choice...that the alternative would leave them worse off than they already are. Some stay because they feel isolated, not having any family or friends to rely on and ofttimes the men are the sole providers and the women don't know of the resources at their disposal by the state--the shelters and counciling and food stamps etc., Some stay because they always believe him when he says it was the last time and that he is sorry.
It all depends on the relationship and the levels of abuse.
2007-02-14 11:25:54
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answer #3
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answered by whispersofindigo 2
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Several reasons. They have nowhere else to go. A shelter is temporary. Maybe the guy has threatened her family and would follow through with the threats. An order of protection isn't much good when the phone wires are ripped out of the wall, or there is no phone to use. Those who say the woman is dumb have no idea, no clue, as to the reality of the situation. And, there lies the problem. Ignorance. It's not a big issue right now. Those women that are faced with abuse have no self esteem, no egos left. They are afraid and have nowhere to turn. They can go to a shelter, but, when they get out, the abuser is still going to be around. Abuse isn't about how educated someone is. It's not about how smart someone is. It happens on all levels.
2007-02-14 13:39:38
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answer #4
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answered by lucy7 3
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That is a good question. Many women stay because they have nowhere else to go, others stay because they are afraid to leave. If their self-esteem is low, may women stay becauseit is familiar, and even tho it is an abusive relationship, they are less afraid of it than the unknown if they leave. Someone once told me that "change will not happen until the pain of the present situation becomes greater than the fear of the unknown" A lot of the time women need outside help to both get away and stay away. But the important thing is IT IS USUALLY NOT THE WOMAN'S FAULT.
2007-02-06 14:53:56
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answer #5
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answered by Katykins 5
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Sometimes they feel traped. a lady with four kids would have a hard time surviving if she left the man who was paying 80% of the families expences. Some women stay because they have been there so long they don't know what else to do. A lot of women truely love these men and they believe they can live them enough to change them.
2007-02-14 14:36:19
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answer #6
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answered by kristina r 2
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There seems to be as many reasons as women who stay with an abuser. But they all seem to be a variety of fear--
Fear of the unknown- "I don't know if the next guy will be worse..."
Fear of being alone- "What if I can't/don't find another man?"
Fear of retaliation- "But he says if I leave he'll come after me and kill me(or some other person she values- kids, parents...)"
Sometimes it's a "settle-for" mind set (aka- low self esteem)- "I won't ever find a man who will treat me better- I may as well settle for this one."
Or somehow they think they deserve it- "If I were better at______, or more______, he wouldn't get angry... " or "I deserve to be beaten for not measuring up..."
These are reasons I've heard others give for staying in abusive relationships.... I know on occasion, I've stayed because of low self esteem. But there is this line I won't cross- When he starts lying to me- Buh-Bye, Baby!!!
2007-02-07 12:29:39
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answer #7
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answered by Yoda's Duck 6
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It is just a cycle. They just can't seem to break free from them selves. I have been trying to date a girl that has been in two abusive relationships and grew up with an abusive father. I treat her with respect and show her that she matters. She says she really likes me, bla bla, but is scared to end up like her last relationships. I have proven time and time again that I am nothing like the men in her past, but there is just no breaking down the wall she has built up. Its a shame, because she is a smart, beautiful girl with some much sadness in her life.
2007-02-14 14:10:21
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Mostly because they think this is normal and that they are in love with the person.
I was in one of those, and it took me forever to get away, but I did. I believe the reason I stayed was because I thought if I tried to leave he would track me down and kill me. I found out from a social worker that this was not very likely to happen and just leave,so I did and I'm still here. I took some self defence classes and I would love to see him try to hit me now.
2007-02-14 14:18:08
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Having been in a couple myself, and knowing some others who have been in a couple, I consider the question to be rude.
Some of us have no practical choice. That is, to leave the relationship is to leave everybody and everything, without telling anybody why...ever...on pain of death. It becomes an equation of risk versus gain. That's not me, but I've seen it.
Some of us know the abuser type. We were raised with it. It's familiar. We believe that, somehow we can manage it. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we crack. Sometimes we bolt. Sometimes we survive.
Then we look back at somebody's DUH question that sounds like, "Duh, how come you are so dumb?" And we get ticked off.
However, if YOU happen to find yourself in an abusive relationship, there are networks of people out there to help. Even in some towns, 211 will hook you up with services...even escape services. It takes guts, but you can get out. If you are allowed to work, set up your own personal bank account, work up to your own credit. If you need to, have the mail go to you at work. Set up your strategic time to move and the place you are going. BUT, when you leave, don't look back. If you are afraid of being followed, go further away. Do everything in your power to make it difficult to impossible for the abuser to follow. Then, enlist help and support from the network to make for yourself a safe environment. Then, take care of yourself.
2007-02-14 11:40:30
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answer #10
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answered by shakey 1
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easy question. they are scared to get out of it. i have never been in an abusive relationship, but some of the women i know that have been were scared that their man would come after them and harm them for leaving them. whether physical, mental or any other kind of abuse, men still are pigs and feel they are inferior. us women need to stand up for ourselves!!
2007-02-06 14:50:15
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answer #11
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answered by sayrah88 2
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