Do people who are sexually abused as children end up loving sex or scared to death of it?

Question

I am scared to death of it.....they think I was abused.....I thought it was normally the other way around? Is it normal?

Answer 1

It can go either way. Some people who are sexually abused develop a fear of sex, others become overly promiscuous. People can come to associate sex with pain, loss of control, and other unpleasantness, and come to fear it and avoid it. Or they can come to take comfort in it (especially with long-term abuse from someone close to them). Or they may think of themselves as dirty, or "slutty" or "easy" and become sexually promiscuous for that reason. There are lots of different ways people can react to sexual abuse, depending on a whole lot of factors, and the way that the trauma manifests itself in adolescents and adulthood can vary enormously among individuals.

But being afraid of sex doesn't necessarily mean you were abused. Who are "they" and why do they think you were sexually abused? If there's physical evidence of it or something that's one thing, but if it's only because you show psychological symptoms, and you don't remember it or have any other reason to think it happened, then there's a good chance they're wrong about it. I mean, I'm scared of any physical contact at all really, and I'm pretty confident that I was never sexually abused.

Answer 2

Your fear of having sex may not be from your being abused. It could be the lack of mental preparedness by your parents from their attitudes about it.
But the reaction of a person, particularly a female can go either way. She could become promiscuous, as a power trip or frigid out of fear/anger. Then some begin living the gay life style.
That is why when I was a teenager I would never have sex with a virgin. I felt it was too much responsibility.
I would find a neutral objective older person to talk to and maybe enlightenment is all you need. It could be that you are not so much afraid of sex but of getting pregnant.

Answer 3

The way people who have been abused feel about sex is different for everyone, it depends on who abused you, how you were abused, and how you and your family dealt with it. It sounds like you have no memory of it. But you are scared about sex. I used to have the same nightmare over and over for years, about a man in a white suit climbing our stairs and standing beside my bed. I would wake up terrified. I liked sex, but I would always be in charge and I never liked anyone touching me. and if you ever held me down and covered my mouth I would go berserk!! I never knew why, till I went to a therapist and she asked if I had ever been molested or abused. I had no memory that I did. I still don't really remember anything but I did have a dream where I was raped when I was 9 years old. it was awful but I have never had that nightmare since.
I don't know what you are scared of, how it will feel? will it hurt?? etc. think of why you are scared and what you are scared of then,
You need to talk to someone you trust and tell them about your fear. maybe they can help explain whatever is scaring you about it. Many abused people are not scared of sex, it's our fear of not being able to protect ourselves. we are taught that we should only be intimate with someone we love. But abused people had that choice taken away, and we are afraid to let it happen again.

Answer 4

It basically depends on the person... Most Long Term Effects of Sexual Abuse can lead to numerous, concerning long-term effects. These include:

* Low self-esteem
* Guilt and shame
* Depression
* Difficulty in forming trusting, meaningful relationships
* Destructive ways of coping (drug/alcohol abuse, suicidal gestures, etc.)
* Sexual dysfunction, confusion about sex, love, and exploitation
* Loneliness, isolation, and alienation
* Disturbed and confused family relationships
* Dissociation experiences (separate from body; separating the sexual acts from one's thoughts or body as a way of coping)

Here is a site that I believe can help you out more then people on here... Since most seem to have such negative attitudes I believe this site will give you more of the answer you are seeking... http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/kids_askannieandy_archives.php

Answer 5

Yeah, sometimes after sexual abuse people become scared of sex or they do the opposite and are hyper-sexual. If this is a serious issue with you, then you may want to speak with a doctor. It might help you.

Answer 6

I was sexually abused and I love it now but cant be with anyone but who I am with fear of rejection ... I am also very ashamed of my body , self concious ...
I grew up hating it to the point my parents put me in a nut hut because everytime they had sex and I heard it I would become violent ...
Depends on the person

Answer 7

their attitude towards sex depends on how they dealt with the abuse. if they sought professional help, such a person would end up loving sex for what it is.but if they kept it to themsleves or refused to deal with ir, such people will think sex is something for fun or a tool to be used to receive affection. they will physically enjoy it but their emotional instability will make them resent it.
others due to the physical pain endured during the abuse will fear it so much and havea very wrong perception of sex

Answer 8

i have been abused, adn im scred of having sex because i think the person will just use me, or hurt me....it sucks....then again, i want to wait untill marriage untill i have sex. good luck with your issue!!!

but, i have a friend who was raped and from there she went down hill. she had sex with any random person and began to do drugs, drink alchol, and cut.

so, i dont know it can go either way i guess...

Answer 9

I have seen some people scared of it and some loving it
if you are that scared you need to see a counselor