Is counseling appropriate for my 4-year old??

Question

My 4-year old cannot recognize any of my boundaries. Last night, she opened a child-proof antihistamine and took several pills (poison control said it was OK). She will eat toothpaste from a high enough medicine cabinet, disobey me during time out, cry and throw herself on the ground if she doesn't get her way,etc. Her teacher told me she has some mild defiance issues but aren't serious. I've taken away toys, treats, given spanks, and she's starting to stay in time out for a large portion of the day because of her rebelliousness. Am I correct to seek out counseling? Any good books anyone can recommend? I'm really exhausted by the butting of heads. Thank you very much Nancy

Answer 1

I think it's called parenting, She needs a good swap on her behind. You have to get her attention before you can teach her to follow your rules!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Instead of paying a therapist thousands of dollars, check into parenting classes or buy the book Super Nanny. By suggesting parenting classes I don't mean that you are a bad parent, but they can help you find ways to get your daughter to behave. I used to be a nanny for a 4 year-old girl that just acted HORRID, and by using the same punishment she learned that I meant business. It is best to be consistant. If, for instance, she throws toys when she has a fit, and one day you give her a time out, and the next time you spank her, she will keep doing it over and over. Kids learn better when they know what to expect.

Answer 3

Have you tried talking to her to find out what the problem is? By that age she should be able to answer "why" questions. Are you sure she understands why she's in "time out" all the time, or might she just think that mommy's mad for no reason? Do you have any idea why she feels the need to have a tantrum to "resolve" things? Have you tried negotiating with her at all? That might help her feel more "in control" of what goes on, and willing to accept what you say.

If you do enter counseling, please make sure it's someone properly qualified and experienced with young children. And if they want to put her on medication right away, get a second opinion.

Answer 4

Well maybe Your daughter is seeking out an type of attention she can get from you. I'm not saying you dont give her enough, but the bad attention is still attention. Try making a reward chart- Give her a star for the day if she does 3-4 things(like, keeps her hands to herself, stays out of your things, etc) and if she gets a star everyday for the week, on the weekend she gets a treat, toy, go rent a kid movie and so on. If she misbehaves take a toy or privilege away until the next week when she can earn it back. I had trouble with my son , hes 5 now but was 4 and this straightened them out. Time out longer than 4 minutes is excessive-even if its broken up through out the day. She is old enough to sit her down and talk to her, tell her the behavior is not acceptable at all. Dont give her a choice to act up. She wants to please you deep down, you just have to pull it out of her. If you decide to get a therapist for possible oppositional defiant disorder- get more than one opinion. I was told my son had this, when in fact he just needed a more strict schedule and lots more positive reinforcement. good luck

Answer 5

A child psychologist can help you understand your daugther's behavior. She has serious issues to deal with to control her stubbornness. lt looks like there is more to this than just defiance to elders.
Seek help as soon as possible. The earlier the better.
Don't worry. Everything will turn out well for you.

Answer 6

A responsible counselor would recommend counseling for the whole family just to figure out what the problem is.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Apparently your definition of a spanking and my mother's aren't the same thing. WHIP HER BEHIND. Not a tap or 2. You might not like it. She defiantly won't like it. You better do it now cause if you wait, you will wish you hadn't. I don't think there is any sort of counsel ling you can do with a 4 yr old that will help you. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

First since she is 4 and able to get around well.
Get a lock box from walmart to keep your medications in and lock it.
Do not tell her where you put it. You were lucky this time.
see a therapist asap.
Do not go to sleep until you are sure she is out for the night.
you don't want her into things while you are asleep.
I don't go to sleep till mine is out. she didn't take pills, she wanted to go for walks.
she is old enough to start reasoning with. nicely listen to her reasons and problems. esxplain yours and set the rules.
stick by them and make consequences for breaking them
everyone has 1 thing she/he does not want to lose, find it and use it to your benefit.

Answer 9

I would take her to counselling and see what the outcome is. There may be a hidden problem and the counseller could help uncover it. You could only benefit from this and do not feel bad about it.. kids are so much different than when we were little. Good luck.

Answer 10

She doesn't "recognize your boundaries"? She's four. Any problems she has are from your lack of parenting abilities. YOU should go to counseling or some sort of group to help you learn how to properly discipline her. Don't put the blame on her.

Answer 11

Taking a parenting class is a better start. You can pick up some helpful pointers, and find a supportive parenting network to help you out.