I love my girlfriend more than I can ever possibly say, but I have a problem.?

Question

I can't afford a good enough engagement ring for her. I don't want to get an inexpensive one, so I don't know what to do. What can I do?

For you morons who say I'm not old enough, I'm 30. I've just got a lot of bills to pay for getting my PhD. Thanks for assuming, though. Makes you look real smart.

Answer 1

Find a really good jeweler first. The man we bought my ring from has this policy--at any time in the future I can trade my ring in on a bigger ring and he will give me trade-in value equal to what we paid for this one. So, maybe you can get her a relatively nice one now, and in a year or two, trade for a nicer ring. Another thing you can do is get a smaller engagement ring, and spring for a nicer band--one with diamonds on the side, etc. I have seen some really beautiful rings like this. That way you're not paying an arm and a leg, and you still get a nice ring.

Answer 2

you have a few options to choose from you can look at different stores and find the great deals, there are amazing deals on at all times, some up to 1000 dollars of saving, so look around, they have great ways so you can pay, you can do it in a few months or a year, or they let you do it in payments. Buy a one diamond ring not the one that has three, one is cheaper, also stay away from white gold and platium they are more money just stick to the orginal gold. You could also go on ebay and see what they have, they have huge deals, but i would rather stick to the local stores instead of the internet. Try to just cut back on some things for the next few months and put little by little up for the ring, if it takes you six months to a year, than let it be. She will understand and will love it no matter how much you spend.If you seem like you still cant get the right ring than just get what you can for now, and on your first anniversary add to it,making it bigger or adding another diamond to it.

Answer 3

It's not how much you spend that counts; it's how you feel about her. It's the meaning behind it. If you'd like to give her a unique engagement ring, how about a claddagh ring?

It features two hands (meaning friendship), a heart (love), and a crown (loyalty). A diamond can't say this much!

A Claddagh worn on the left hand with the heart facing outward is often a sign of being engaged, and the ring on the left hand facing inward toward the body generally indicates that the wearer is married.

So, this ring could serve as both her engagement and wedding ring.

And, you can get a claddagh ring directly from Ireland, where it originated. I ordered mine here: http://www.allcladdagh.com/claddagh.htm. This is a jeweler's website based in Ireland.

In Ireland, all gold jewelry is stamped by the Assay Office, Dublin, verifying the amount of gold it contains (I recommended getting a 14k gold ring; this will cost around $200 or more).

Claddagh rings were meant to be passed down from generation to generation, so not only will you be giving her something with history from the country it originated, but you'll be starting a family tradition.

Answer 4

First of all, you need to know that the old saw about an engagement ring needing to cost approximately the same as two months' worth of your salary is just baloney. That is just a fiction created by the jewelry industry to sell jewelry. Similarly, the idea that only diamonds will do is something created to sell diamonds. They are fictions which, unfortunately, a lot of people have bought into.

Try talking to your girl. You may be surprised to find that what she wants in an engagement ring is something entirely different from what you are thinking of buying. She's going to be wearing the ring for a long time, so you need to make sure it's something she wants.

If she does want an expensive ring, the best thing to do is save up for it. Tuck away some money every month, and just save like crazy until you can get her what she wants.

If you don't want to talk to her about it, you can still surprise her with a cool ring without breaking the bank. Try looking at estate jewelry, and seeing if you cannot find something more in line with your budget there. Often, you can find beautiful colored gems, like sapphires and rubies, in beautiful settings, and they won't cost what a brand new huge diamond does.

This sounds silly, but you should also look at pawnshops. If you are anywhere near a casino, look at pawnshops in that area. You wouldn't believe how many people hawk expensive, beautiful jewelry so they can continue betting at the tables.

Whatever you do, keep your head on your shoulders. I know a nice big ring is nice to look at, but I also know that starting off with 10K in ring debt is no way to start a marriage. You say you cannot afford a ring that's "good enough" for her. I think every man who has truly found the love of his life feels that way. Ask yourself this: is anything ever going to really be good enough for her. I am not talking about in her eyes, I am talking about in yours. You may just have to learn to live with the fact that you cannot get everything you think she deserves. Instead, work on getting her a ring that she likes, and will be happy to wear. Don't worry about what other people think about it, because this is something that's just between the two of you.

Good luck, and best wishes.

Answer 5

That's really sweet of you that you want to give her the "perfect ring" -- it shows how much you care about her. But honestly, I think whatever ring you give her, whether it is inexpensive or not, is going to be the perfect ring because it came from you. I think she will appreciate it no matter what and I'm sure she'll understand due to your situation right now.
My advice would be, if you're really that concerned, to wait a little while until you feel confortable enough, financially, to buy one. Engagement rings usually go on sale at random times of the year, so maybe just keep your eye out for now.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

What do you mean "good enough"? going into debt up to your gills just shows her how irresponsible you can be. Don't go rock bottom cheap, but don't mortgage your futures either. Too many couples fight over money, and then divorce. Be responsible about this. If all you can afford is something from the economy case right now, so be it. She'll understand. That doesn't mean that when that PhD pays off you can't get something more elaborate in a few years

Answer 7

My boyfriend is in the same position. Now, I can't speak for every woman, but the ring isn't as important to me as him asking is. I told him to just buy me a "placeholder" for right now. Just a $10 or $15 ring from Target will do. I'll admit that I do want a diamond ring at some point, but I really just want him to ask me. And he's totally OK with that. He likes the idea.

So, talk to her. Ask her what she wants. There's no shame in it, and it doesn't ruin the surprise at all.

A friend of mine did the same thing. Her boyfriend asked her, and they bought a little "cheapy" ring together as a place holder until they could afford something else. There priority was paying off debt, not having something expensive on her finger.

(Love isn't about money. Rings don't have to be expensive, and neither do weddings.)

Answer 8

Maybe take her shopping to the mall and go into a jeweller and look at rings together. Who cares if she knows you've been looking at them? When and how you actually ask her will still be a great surprise. By doing this, you'll see what she likes and you might just find she wants a relatively inexpensive ring. Not all girls want some huge expensive one, me being one of them. Plus, you can always upgrade the ring on say the 5th anniverary if you really want to.

Answer 9

Keep your eye out for sales. My husband and I were just walking through the mall one day and saw that Dunkin Diamonds was awfully crowded! They have a VIP sale twice a year where you can get EXCELLENT deals. We got my engagement ring (5/8 carat), a $2,500 appraised value, for $799. We have had it looked at professionally and it only has one tiny black carbon in it, which isn't visible to the naked eye. You can get a great deal if you have your eyes open!

Also, are you able to get a store credit card? Not sure what your credit is like, but if you can get one through the store you are purchasing from you could get an intro offer like 12 months same as cash.

Good luck!! I'm sure that making sure you have a great ring will pay off!!

Answer 10

I have to say that if she loves you she will not care about how much the ring cost or if it is real daimonds..Get her what you can afford and if she has a problem with it too bad for her..Besides it would suck to spend alot of money and it still not be good enough!...In the future when you want to and can afford it get her the ring you would have the first time around! The fact you thought of her should be enough!