My bf has been gone since october, hes gonna be gone probly another 10 months....he's like 4 hours away from home and hes at a place too help him he is in a wheelchair and i love him alot but i always think hes gonna cheat on my like i cant stop thinking that should i end it with him but i dont wanna either cant afford consuling lol
2007-02-06 12:59:31 · 11 answers · asked by babygirl00087 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Long distance Relationships are based on trust. Love needs trust. Maybe you should talk about this with him. Be fair. Don't accuse him of anything because he hasn't done anything yet.
To be honest LDR (Long distance relationships) are not for everyone. But if you learn to trust each other then nothing can come between you and yes...you can rebuild a relationship after a partner has been unfaithful....its okay.
But above all good luck and best wishes.
2007-02-06 13:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by fall_out_boy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this a lot at the place I work- someone in a chair and the rest of their loved ones subtly distancing themselves.
If he ended up in a chair all of a sudden, he is unlikely to try to cheat on you and will pretty much cling to the thought of you in his heart. Being in a chair screws up your libido, your sex drive, your feelings of self-worth, your self-image, etc.
The staff there is almost certainly not going to let themselves fall into a relationship with him (although some guys will imagine a relationship anyway) and oddly enough, few clients in short-term facilities form much more than a buddy relationship with other clients. (Relationships often develop in long-term, several year settings, but that is a different story!)
I suspect you are getting cold feet about this- and that is perfectly normal. Something bad happened to him, and you are struggling with the 'stand by your man' and 'eek its a monster, run!' battle. People in wheelchairs are marked socially, and limited physically. It takes a little more work to include them in activities- going to dinner or movies, etc. It takes them longer to do everyday things from answering a phone to getting dressed, etc.
All I can say is that I have seen people stay together and people break up, and there are pros and cons for both actions.
Some of the pros of staying together are:
- Better healing for him
- Better integration into society and his life for him
- You get to do something great for someone
- You will learn and grow from this experience
- You'll avoid the guilt that hits most people so hard
Some of the cons to staying together are:
- If he is going to be in a chair for the rest of his life, and living in an adaptive facility or apartment, breaking up will help him make a cleaner (although more painful) start to his new life
- You will sometimes feel like he is a burden or an anchor, that you should be free and able to follow new directions
it is not an easy decision to make, but the advice I CAN give is to not rush it one way or the other, and to talk it over with your folks and others before deciding.
2007-02-07 13:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really all you can do if you want to stay is trust your man. Its true what they say if you dont have trust you dont have love. You can drive yourself insane thinking this and that all the time. And if he is going to a place to help him then you have to let him get help. Try on occasion to go and see him distance tears people apart but it can make your relationship stronger if you make it that way. You and only you can determine what you want to do. Hope this helps.
2007-02-06 21:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by kaybee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would u end it because of your own insecurities?
If he hasnt done anything to make you think he is or will cheat, then why are you torturing yourself?
Trust him till he gives you reason not to.
You dont have any reason to do it right now.
Just have faith in his love for you and vice versa. Everything will be just fine.
Good luck hun. and dont over analyze so much.
2007-02-06 21:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it the fact that your afraid that he gonna cheat on you, or is it the fact that he is in a wheel chair (unless he has been in it his whole life)?? That may help with the responses. But your trust has to start somewhere, whether it be now or later in life. If you love him, give him the chance to be trusted.
2007-02-06 21:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by traveling_soldier6784 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you afraid he will cheat on you?? If he is not making you feel this way relax and don't be so insecure!
If there are signs he is or will then let him go..If it was meant ot be it will be!
2007-02-06 21:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be able to trust him. If you can't do this you are not mature enough to persue a relationship no matter how far away he is.
2007-02-06 21:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just write and call and if he cheats on you then you are way too good for him hon. take my advice good luck let me know how it works out!
2007-02-06 21:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont break up with him! give him the chance he deserves and love him with all your heart. maybe take a break but dont distrust him.
2007-02-06 21:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't break up with him he probably is pursuing this career to support you and his only hope is you
2007-02-06 21:07:44 · answer #10 · answered by ~Soul Socks~ aka <Spiderwebs& 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋