how can I get my mother-in-law to understand?

Question

I have been with my husband for 6 years. My mother in law and I got along fine, until I cheated! We had alot going on and he wasn't there for me. I know I was wrong. I was forgivin by him and God. I started going to church,got baptized and now have a family in the church. I am a completely different person, who has grown from this whole thing.My mother-in-law however hasn't forgivin me,but she hasn't seen how hard I have tried and how much I have grown. She hasn't been around for 2 years and my kids are missing out on having a grandma. I feel like it is mainly my fault and I don't know what else to do. What else can I do to make her see I love my family and I have never done it again and won't.

Answer 1

Listen. You were forgiven by GOD and your husband and it sounds like you have forgiven your self. Go on with your life. If your mother in law has not forgiven you then ta hell with her. I understand that you want her in your and your children life but if she chooses not to then there is nothing you can do. Live your life and Keep GOD first. Be blessed. I am proud of you.

Answer 2

Life is hard enough, don't look for issues. Ignore what you can't control, forgive yourself, and realize that you can't control other people's feelings. Don't waste a moment over this, channel that energy into improving yourself, someone you CAN control.

You are running your own family now, and your children look to you as an example of emotional strength, and it will frighten them to see you worrying about things you can't control or having bitter feelings about a relative, for any reason. Grandparents will pass away---what's most important to your family and children is your example, you as a role model. They do not need to know details of all adult issues, but they DO need to see you coping with daily life and showing them you are a strong, mature parent. Your mistakes will make you a better parent, if you learn from them. Prepare your children for their future, and forget your personal crises. They need you more than any other relative, so make yourself a SOLID parent.

Answer 3

All you can do is keep doing what you're doing. If you husband is on your side, that's all that matters. She has elected to not be in her grand kids lives and that's her choice. She has decided to punish them, and herself, because of your previous actions.

She apparently thinks she has the moral high ground and is playing the role. Its called being selfish. Your husband should be the "point man" with his mother, not you.

Keep taking care of your family, keep doing the right thing, and let the old woman stew.

Answer 4

What you could say:
I realize i was wrong and feel very guilty for my actions but i have taken full responsibility for it and have done everything i can to fix it. God and your son have forgiven me and i have taken a new route in life. I am hoping you will forgive me too. If not for me, then for your son and grandchildren. u are needed in their lives. While it was a very thoughtless act i did grow from it and am a completely different person. I hope u will forgive me and move on as your son did.

Answer 5

It is not necessary for your mother-in-law to forgive you. You didn't cheat on her. You cheated on your husband. In my opinion, maybe she's the one who needs forgiving for not coming around to see her grandchildren.
As to what you can do to make her see the difference in you, there's NOTHING you can do. You can't FIX her. You can't CHANGE her.
I know how frustrating it is for someone to shut you out. It hurts a lot.
On the bright side, you have your husband's forgiveness, you have forgiven yourself(I hope) and you've started going to church again.
Your mother-in-law has the problem, not you.

Answer 6

It will be hard I mean you hurt her baby. And she should come around for her son and on the kids true but in time she will come around.