Important please help me PLEASE READ!!?

Question

-I am 19 and my boyfriend is 18. We have been dating now for 2 years and recently broke up. We are now back together and he told me he wanted to change as did I and we both had a mutual agreement to try and work on our relationship.

he had called me on the phone and asked me what days i had school and was working. I told him that Wednesday i wasn't working and that Friday i had off from school. It just so happened he had the same thing this week. He asked me if i would like to go out on a date and hang out? I told him which day Wednesday or Friday he replied "Both" i agreed. I said sure.

-Today Tuesday he came up to me at work. He told me that his two guy friends had asked him to hang out with them on Friday. I said to him well didn't you make plans with me for Friday. He replied yes but that's why i figured I'd give you notice ahead of time so you have time to make other plans but, we could still see each other Wednesday. When I asked him if I could join him and his friends he told me to “ask his friends” and I wasn’t about to do that.

-I’m a bit angered by this.
My question is would you be angry? He said he was going to “change” but as of right now I see NO CHANGE. Would you be angry? Or am I just over reacting? Should I let him have his time with the boys? And should I still hang out with him tomorrow or blow him off like he did to me? PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

i'd be pissed, then i would say that he's never going to change and end it right there

Answer 2

I think you are obsessing too much over it. So, the guys want to hang out, whats wrong with that? He made plans with you for both nights, yes, but he is still keeping a date with you. And at least he didn't wait until Thursday night or Friday morning to tell you he was going to change plans. Just let him be. Call your girls up, and have fun with YOUR friends that night. He deserves his time with the boys.

Answer 3

You can go about this two ways. You can blow him off tomorrow but that won't make the situation any better. Or you can go out with him tomorrow have the best damn time ever and make him want to hang out with you on friday. You can even try kissing him and make it seem as if you really want him, but don't give in. When Friday rolls around let him go out with his friends but I bet he'll wish he had made plans with you. And for you on Friday don't sit at home moaning and groaning and wondering what he's doing. Go hang out with your girlfriends or even your siblings if you have any and don't call him the entire day. He's going to wonder what your up to and just play him off like he played you. Its okay to be angry but you just have to know how to make them feel the pain. Good luck Chick!

Answer 4

He sound immature, since you are supposed to be dating, and it was his plan to see you on your free days for this week, he can see his buddys any other day, he should not be breaking your dates but trying to change the night of hanging with is buddys, you deserve better, dont blow him off, but tell him that since you dont feel that he is treating your relationship as importantly as you think he should, then maybe you should both agree to see other people also, and then try and get a date for friday night.

Answer 5

Guys do need guy time, but I can understand that if the only time you had together was 2 days a week and plans with you were made how you would be angry. Dont just let it go but dont go off on him. Call him or tell him on Wed that you dont intend to pick a fight but that you understand he has friends and needs to hang out with them, but him having already made plans with you and breaking them makes you feel like he would drop you for any reason more appealling. Point out that he has a habit of doing this and you wanted to bring it up in order to keep with the promise to change and work on the relationship. If he argues the point tell him when he wanted to make the plans in the first place you asked him which day and it was HIM who said both. Tell him you dont expect him to change his plans with his friends because remember you do understand he needs doofy guy time, but to remember in the future that it makes you feel like a disposable part of his life. Also tell him that you know it will happen once in a while but it would lessen the disappointment if he asked if it was ok to change your plans so he can go act like a dork with his friends as opposed to TELL you thats whats happening and to make other plans with you for either earlier in the day or after his ...I AM MAN HEAR ME BELCH session. Non confrontational, your not letting it go, making for resentment, and your not going off on him making for defensive and offensive fighting. If he doesnt respond positively rethink your position on working it out. Men rarely change for more than the time it takes to get you back plus 2 weeks. If they arent put in their place early there is no hope.

Answer 6

It's irritating, but I think most guys are like that. I'd just hang out with him Wednesday and find something else to do Friday. You might not want to be too serious about this relationship given that you are both very young.

Answer 7

I'd say u just hang out with yr girl friends and hav fun. I'm not sure what the prob was b4 so I can't really say but if it's jealousy u want from him, then have as much fun as u could and make sure he knows it. Tell him how much fun u guys had. Mayb take some guy friends along. Or u could just talk to him and let him know what he is doing wrong. <

Answer 8

i would be angered too, well, actually, i think what i'd feel (and what you feel) would be more of frustration. you need to sit him down and tell him that its not okay with you because he basically lied to you, he said he'd change but he hasn't, he has the whole weekend to hang with the guys and you and he already made plans that cannot be broken unless one of you has a legitimate excuse. don't blow him off tomorrow though, you'll need this time for talking (and possibly breaking up) you need to show him that when you make plans you keep them. dont be sad though, there are more fish in the sea! and i have no worries that you won't be able to find a sweeter, smarter, cuter, better fish in no time!!!

Answer 9

I can see why you are annoyed, he made plans with you first, kinda gives you an idea where you stand, at least he was a little conciderate in giving you advance notice, so if you feel like hanging with your gal pals, after he has asked you for a date, well just give him a day or so, and he can find something else to do, at least he will understand that he does not allways come first either.

Answer 10

well if this was the same problem as before then i suppose there is reason to be angry. Make sure you confront him about it. Its not like he stood you up or ditched you. Maybe it would have been better for him to ask his friends if you can come along to whatever before deciding with them what they are going to do. Then asking you if you would like to go if they were agreeable to begin with. Putting it on you to ask them if its ok to tag along is lame. So, here you are wanting to patch things up and right off the bat he's showing a tiny bit of consideration, yet no spine.
And its not like you listed what were the problems before. So dont expect any of these answers here to be clairvoyant.

Answer 11

18 years old huh?
I would be mad. But of course, maybe he thought that it wouldn't matter to you because you guys were going to hang out on Wednesday too anyways.

If you would like a stronger relationship, don't give up. That's what love is, you keep on holding on even at the toughest times, and in the end it will be worth it.