My boyfriend is best friends with his ex-gf. What do I do?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for just over a year. And his friendship with his ex-gf drives me crazy. It's not just that they are friends - she has shoes at his house; she called him 4 times when her car broke down; she read something that I left at his house, even though it clearly was marked as mine; the two of them watch Lost together; he had a testimonial on her friendster sight about how great she is and how sexy she is.. and more! It just feels like they have no boundaries. Their relationship isn't sexual, but it's their closeness and lack of boundaries that hurts me.

I get very upset about it, and have told him so, but he doesn't seem to listen. In fact, one night we argued about it and I was crying on his couch, and the very next night, he had her over to watch Lost.

This is the only thing we fight about it. Everything else is great between us. But I don't know what to do. I think about this more than I should, and it's really affecting me. Help!

Answer 1

wow... sounds like you do have a problem there!
Being friends with his ex is ok.. im really good friends with my ex.. but he and her needs to learn about boundaries.. there are just somethings you dont do... i would never go to my ex's place and read something that belongs to his girlfriend!!!

You really need to sit him down again and tell him in detail whats going through your head and how you feel about the situation... i mean.. if they are good friends then you dont want to split that friendship up.. but they need to have boundaries...

If that fails.. and its really still annoying and getting to you then you should re think the relationship with him if he is not prepared to listen to you and change a cpl of things that is annoying you then why bother putting up with it!!

Good luck!

Answer 2

It's never easy to accept a boyfriend's friendship with his ex, but if you don't you might push him away from you and then you'll lose him which is a lot worse than him being friends with his ex. Being that you always know that she is over at his house and that they are spending time together and he isn't trying to hide it from you should actually comfort you some because that tells you that he's not cheating on you which is a good thing. Suggest that the three of you spend some time together, even though it will be slightly awkward. Most guys tend to like the same kind of girls, so you and the ex probably have some things in common. If you can't break up their friendship (which would be wrong) then at least try to accept it and become a part of it.

Answer 3

Ex-gfs are off limits to new boyfriends until their new gfs give it the okay. He is disrespecting you by continuing this friendship without your blessing. If he had to choose, would he pick you or her? That should be telling.

He may say they are just friends, but this makes it to convenient for them to rekindle their relationship. Do you have the rule that you always have to be there if the two of them are together? That should be an absolute.

Answer 4

Here is the blunt honest truth.
Move on, because clearly, these two have not. It is his choice to involve her in his life, its nothing he has to do. His lack of respect for you by having her over the very next night to watch a tv show should tell you that he is not ready to devout himself to you.
The only reason they remain friends is because they share a past. But it looks like niether of them can keep it in the past.
Move on.

Answer 5

just keep a close eye out on these two, its very possible for them to be friends but i cant see them being that close, keep your eyes open

Answer 6

just tell her to back off n that she had him and now you do and if she dont back off beat the crap out of her that is what i did