I feel like every guy I ever feel attracted to, has a girlfriend, is too old, too young, would be a terrible boyfriend, etc. Its been so long since I actually wanted to pursue a relationship with the guy i was crushing on. I usually don't flirt either because I feel like I shouln't. Then when I do I feel bad because I'm 17, the guy's 14 and he has a girlfriend (for example). Why do I do this? What can I do to change it?
2007-02-06 11:27:08 · 8 answers · asked by somegirlll 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nothing until you change yourself, good luck
2007-02-06 11:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are protecting yourself by only allowing yourself to be interested in "safe" guys, ones you know you would never give your heart to. Either that or you like a little bit of the sense of "danger" in the taboo relationship. As you mature and get more confidence in yourself, some of this will go away. You may be setting yourself up, though if you let this pattern become habitual. One word of caution, if you don't mind. You are 17. Be very careful how you behave with those 14 year old guys you mention. You SURE don't want some parent charging you with statutory rape. This used to be unheard of for a female to be charged with, but with all the stuff in the news now-a-days about teachers seducing students, etc. it's not all that far-fetched a notion. If you want to change, remember that EVERYTHING you do is a choice, a decision. You have it in you to choose your every move. Take control of your behavior and don't set yourself up for hurt. Look for a healthy relationship that will make you happy, hon.
2007-02-06 19:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by nana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is one of these three things:
1. You are scared to be in a relationship. You are not ready and you fear that level of intimacy. You only pick guys you know you will break up with. You will be in control. You will not let yourself be vunerable. As long as you know you will never fall for him you will never get hurt. Subconciously that is your biggest fear.
2. You are scared of rejection. If one of these innapropriate guys rejects you it doens't matter becasue you didn't like them anyway. Or it is becasue they have a girlfriend, not because of you or how you look. If you asked out a guy you were crushing on and he said no then it would be you. You would be rejected. You put yourself out there and got hurt. You don't want to be embarrased or to fail.
3. You are insecure and don't feel worthy to go out with someone you really like. Your parents or others have made you feel inadequate and you feel like you don't deserve to be happy. You have thoughts like you will never be happy. Never find the one. So you settle. For someone too young, someone taken, someone mean or ugly. You see yourself as someone ugly or uninteresting so you pick guys who are also this way. But your not...
No matter what your problem is, 1,2 or 3, you need to understand that you do deserve to be happy. You too can have Mr. Right. If you ask a crush out and he says no, it is okay. Another crush will come along a few weeks later and you can try again. Surround yourself with people who have confidence and who date. Poeple who aren't afraid of rejection. Their skills will rub off on you. You need to be vunerable and put yourself out there sometimes. It is scary but if you don't try you will always be with the loser guy or the unavailable guy. Life is too short. Right now pick up the phone and call a guy you have a crush on and tell him you would like to get to know him better and would he like to see a movie or grab a bit to eat. Even if he says no you will feel a lot better. You will say, "wow, that wasn't really that big of a deal after all." The sooner you try and realize you can do it and that you deserve to be happy the sooner you can move on with the rest of your life.
2007-02-06 19:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by FinkDollah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh ALL women have done that at some point or another. You're still 17, that sounds pretty normal to me. You learn from mistakes. The more you date, the more you learn what it is you are looking for in a man and also what you are not looking for in a man. By the time you are a bit older, you have it semi figured out and start making better choices.
2007-02-06 19:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by seethrougheyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your crushing on someone, and they're available think about it. I had the same dilema no worries. I just had to be patient and wait. Finally someone came along but don't feel like you need to be in a relationship or that you need a guy. The right time will come and the perfect guy will be there!
2007-02-06 19:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by Catherine H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start trying to hang out with people who are actually your age. Give them a chance, maybe you will realize that you likepeople your age and not 14 yr olds. You are probably just nervous around "appropraite" people, so I bet the more you put yourself out there to those people the more you will find them appealing.
Good luck!
2007-02-06 19:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's some reason why you + drop stinking thinking = potential girlfriend :
1. your young
2. there's plenty of fishes in the sea
3. think positive < BIG one
Hope this helps. Bye! ^_^
2007-02-06 19:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong go for it ...make ur life ...nothing important than emotions
2007-02-06 19:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by rajbhardwaj05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋