We have been dating 3 weeks. He is 23 (today), and I am 21, we are both in college here at Texas Tech. I am in and out of the hospital, and I've lied to him and told him I don't know what's wrong and I am getting tests run. My cancer is very aggressive..
Anyway, I want to tell him later, when we're falling for each other, because I think it would be too much information at this time. But if I wait till we're that serious, he may get upset that I wasn't honest with him earlier. I don't want to lose him he is the first guy that has treated me this good and make me feel so good about myself. When should I tell him, if at all?
2007-02-06 11:07:59 · 48 answers · asked by goldengirl 4 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
lol..for those that say "in the bedroom"..we are not yet sexually active
2007-02-06 14:08:56 · update #1
Tell him now. 1) you need the support.
2) If he's going to run; best let him run now before you're emotionally attached.
Truth is always the best policy.
2007-02-06 11:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
You should tell him soon. He deserves for you to be honest with him. If you wait till the two of you are in love, and you've known all this time, what do you think that is going to do to your relationship?
On the other hand, if you tell him now and it's too heavy for him to handle, then it's better for him to be out of your life before you start to get really sick and should concentrate on yourself. If he's a really good man, he may very well choose to stick around to help and support you. But he won't stick around later if he feels like you haven't been open and honest with him.
2007-02-06 11:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you, but I think that it is best to tell him now. You don't need the added stress of keeping the secrete and dealing with your cancer and treatment at the same time.
Hopefully, he will stay by you and give you the support you need now, but even if he does not, you will at least be free of the stress of keeping the secrete.
I know that it's easier said than done, but try to keep a positive attitude (meditate, watch funny movies, laugh, keep your spirits up, listen to soothing music, relax, and pray). I've heard that laughter and a positive attitude actually physically affects your mind and body in positive ways which aids in the healing process.
Fill your mind, body and spirit with the most peaceful and happy thoughts that you can.
I am praying for you right this minute. I bid you peace, good health, and a long and happy life.
2007-02-06 11:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should let him know the truth, because if he likes you, nothing will stop him from wanting to be with you. If you continue to make up lies, then he will not want to be a part of your life. You have a lot ahead of you. and a positive person in your life. would really help you. I hope he will stay, but if he doesn't you have to except it, and concentrate of your cancer at hand. There is a lot out there to help you. So do research, go for second opinions, Don't ever stop fighting. until you know yourself that the time has come. You will be in my prayers.God be with You
2007-02-06 11:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight with him. Let him know.
If he truly cares about you, he'll stand by you. If he does not, then so be it. You need people around you now who will support you. You don't need to carry on pretenses and hope to shield someone from a painful thing that you're going through.
Tell him. Whatever happens, you'll be better off. And best wishes to you. I'm sure everything will be fine, and you'll get better. Medicine is making amazing strides in cancer treatment.
2007-02-06 11:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, calm down. I'm sure things will turn out fine it's not your fault you have cancer and your not the first on to have it. Secondly, you need to tell your boyfriend that you have cancer, if he's as great as you say he is he'll understand if not there's more fish in the sea(sorry for the cliché). Because think about it if he makes you feel good about yourself and treats you well he would be a good person to have around during your difficult time.
Don't wait until a later time because, like you said it might make him upset that you didn't trust hm enough to tell him. But your gonna have to tell him sooner or later.
Good luck, and I hope things work out.
2007-02-06 11:10:53 · answer #6 · answered by jasmine :) 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
First: I am so sorry to hear that! My aunt had cancer, but she survied. So I will pray for you!
1. Invite him over. Order take out and watch some funny movies. Into the night be like
You: Can we talk
Him: Yeah sure
You: Well, when I go to the hospital..I lied...they said I have cancer...and it is very aggressive..but I didn't want to hurt you..I'm sorry.
something along those lines..
2007-02-06 11:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by Kristen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and tell him and tell him its one of the hardest things you had to do because of the risk of losing him and let him take it from there. I don't know what kind of cancer you have but let me offer you an alternative, You can try and take emu oil gel caps, 3 per day, they are safe to take and emu oil kills cancer cells. One should always consult their doctor before trying anything new. Back to the boyfriend, once he knows this could be good support for you in the long run. good luck
2007-02-06 11:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by Bruce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, I would be honest and upfront with him sooner than later. If he freaks out or is uncomfortable with it then honestly, he wasn't worth it in the first place. One of the most imprortant things that you need in a good, lasting relationship is trust and HONESTY. Tell him and go from there. If he's as good as you say, he will be supportive and help you through it and then you'll know he's REALLY worth it. Good luck
2007-02-06 11:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by mushroompumpkin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not keep him in dark, tell him as soon as possible, what kind of cancer you have, you can try zeolite detox drops which can help you, you can get it from u s a. I am in u k i might buy as well. good luck be happy you will not die until god wish be strong and pray to god faith on him.
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2007-02-06 11:38:13 · answer #10 · answered by CHANDU P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your illness, but what you are doing to your boyfriend is selfish and wrong. You should tell him now, and give him a choice on what he wants to do. To let him fall in love with you with an illness as serious as this is one of the cruelest things you could ever do to him. If you care for him and want him to be happy, tell him the truth. Good luck with your treatment.
2007-02-06 11:12:52 · answer #11 · answered by Dr. Barker 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋