I have been cheated on a lot and it has hurt me so badly that I told this man that if I ever even suspected he was cheating I would break up with him because my perception would inevitably be my reality. I never wanted to go through the wondering and looking through emails and phone calls again, as I did in previous relationships. Unfortunatly, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and actually trusted him. After some hard times, he started acting different, like the previous cheaters. I still trusted him because, I really believed he was different. When he stopped coming home and when he started turning his phone off, I lost trust and finally tonight I went through his phone and determined through text messages he was in fact cheating...or attempting to cheat. Being that I told myself I wouldn't go through this again, regardless of the truth, I need to break up with him. Do I tell him what I did, or do I just end it by saying I don't trust him anymore?
2007-02-06 11:06:50 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd let him know that YOU know. And I'd tell him, only the dumb ones get caught.
2007-02-06 11:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, give him the chance to come clean. tell him you know something is going on with him yet, are unsure of what it is. Next if he says nothing blah blah blah..then tell him the out and out truth.
Heres the deal though you need to buck up to your insecurity also. Because I am sure if you have been like me, you have been suspicious of every man you have dated whether or not you knew it. You have to take resposibilty for that. Its damn hard to live with someone who questions your every move, and you don't mean too, and don't realize you do it. You may not vocalize it but, a lot comes from body language and facial expressions.
And plenty of guys have told me... if your being accused and questioned..then why not make it true, so at least you have a right to be mad.
I am in no way condoning his behavior, but, I wanted yout to maybe take into consideration the WHOLE picture.
Now, if you decide to break up with him..take a LONG break from guys and do some work on your self and heal yourself up before getting into another realtionship. Because whether you know it or not, your there in your head, but your heart stays gaurded from fear of being cheated on...you give pieces but, never the whole thing. After a while that gets tiring.
I know I have been there.
2007-02-06 11:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about that. What one of my friends did when she was being cheated on is this, She saw her boyfriend kissing on of her close friends. The next day the three of them were supposed to go to the town carnival. My friend got picked up first by her boyfriend, and when they got to her friends house she got out of the car, and moved to the back seat. When her boyfriend asked why she did that she said well i think its because you like her more than me. the rest of the car ride was quiet and she left her boyfriend and her friend when they got to the fair. If you know who the person is you should try and do something like that if you want him to feel bad. otherwise, i would just let him know what you did, and if you would like to work it out talk to him about it and see if you can work things out. if not tell him what you did and tell him get lost. :) hope everything works out
2007-02-06 11:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by Dark Knight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell, if you feel it in your heart that he's going to continue doing it then you need to leave. you werent wrong for finding out that he was or has cheated, you owed it to yourself to find out, its not like you went into the relationship accussing or assuming, regardless of your past relationships, you gave him the benefit of the doubt and opened your heart to let him in with no complications. so you will be doing yourself a favor by leaving him, everyone deserves better, plus if he gets away with it once he'll keep doing it again
2007-02-06 11:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tough situation living with a person who doesnt come home...though, the 'attempting' to cheat phone texts are fuel but
not the fire. a cheating partner is the end result of many factors.
whether you continue to trust and have faith is up to you and your emotional/physical endurance. look into it further before you give up on someone youre involved with/living with/married to. peace
2007-02-06 11:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you let him know, if he wasn't acting different and doing thindgs such as turning off his phone & not coming home at nite, you wouldn't have felt that you had to do that. He's cheating, and you need to let him know that he's caught, and there will be no more.
2007-02-06 11:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to tell him that you went through his phone, just tell him that you know and it's over. Make sure he knows that he has lost out.
2007-02-06 11:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that it really matters at this point if you tell him that you looked through his phone. The important thing is that you do what's right for you, and end it.
2007-02-06 11:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by JennyJen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gently tell him the truth the reason why the two of you are better to go your separate ways.
2007-02-06 11:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by anna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know for fact he is cheating, tell him while you are breaking up with him.
2007-02-06 11:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋