Five years ago, my Dad took a knife to my throat and tried to run over me with his car, it wasn't the first time either, he's a complete psycho. I decided to cut him out of my life for good. My Aunt thinks that I should see him again and that it doesn't matter what he does to me, I must respect him because he's my father. What do you think?
2007-02-06 10:44:41 · 41 answers · asked by Jonny D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry to hear that your father is so destructive towards you. My mother is an alcoholic and there were many things she said and did to me as a child. Only did I realize the things she did were wrong because I started having flashbacks in my 20's. My self esteem was really bad for a number of years and I still to this day have some problems with it. My grandmother is trying the same thing your aunt is doing and it pains me to go against my grandmother's wishes, but my mother will never change. In your case, I would stay away as far as possible. Your father needs help and until he gets it, he will lose out on having a relationship with you. As a result of my mother's behavior, my son will never know his grandparents. I cannot have any contact with my father because she will make his life unbearable. She has started fights in the past with anyone I was close to, even my own grandmother. She has even once stated that she was jealous of me. If you want to respect your aunt's wishes, the only thing and safe thing I can suggest is that you sit down and write your father a letter telling him everything that he put you through. May I suggest you seek some councelling if you haven't already? Good luck and please don't feel guilty. This man may be your father, but he is a monster. Respect is earned and he doesn't deserve it.
2007-02-06 11:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's your father doesn't give him a license to be cruel! I'm sorry, but I believe that respect should work both ways between parents and children. People have to earn respect, it is not a given right.
If you WANT to see him again, then do so as a grown up and take no rubbish from him. He'll soon realise you are not that same person you were 5 years ago. Be careful though, because in seeing him, that can of worms may well open, be ready for all the feelings to come back at you.
Do you think he would offer any explanation for what he did? Do you think he'll apologise? If not, then maybe seeing him isn't a good idea.
You should do what YOU want to do and not be pressured into anything. Be firm with your aunt if you don't want to see him.
Whatever you decide to do I hope all goes well.
2007-02-06 10:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET AWAY, and stay away. He definately has some mental issues and you are bettter off with out that kind of thing in your life.
Your Aunt is not you. Family does not always know best so, don't worry about it. Tell you Aunt unless your father seeks proffessional help, then he is not wanted in your life, and you not sure even with mental help you want him in your life.
You've amde a good choice, and you did the right thing. Stick yo your guns.
2007-02-06 10:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your Aunt is being selfish. It may suit her needs to have this imaginary happy family but for you it is dangerous.
My advice would be that whatever you decide to do about your family in the years to come, always be certain it is on your terms and not someone elses. No one has rights over your life other than you!
2007-02-06 10:49:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your aunt is a bit clueless. He sounds like a wackjob and I would steer clear of him. Reconciliation might be out of the question. And you don't have to respect him just because he is your father. He apparently didn't take good care of you, so he wasn't a good father.
2007-02-06 11:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by HiTekRednek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where your aunt is coming from, but your personal safety must come first - above all else. If that means avoiding him, so be it. You never know, later on down the track he may have sought treatment and rehabilitated and you may wish to resume contact with him. But for the meantime, stay away. Hope this is helpful, regards Penny xx
2007-02-06 10:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! No way!!! How about your aunt has some respect for you and your decision?!! You definitely did the right thing for yourself and everyone you care about in your future. Hold your head up high and don't let anyone bring you down about it. Take care and best wishes for a happy future.
Alex. X
2007-02-07 12:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by catwoman alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't see inviting pain both physical and emotional by letting him back in your life. especially if he hasn't asked. Don't let your aunt or anyone pressure you into anything that you don't feel is right for you. Good luck to you sounds like you have had some hard times I wish you well in the future.
2007-02-06 11:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by childofthefifties 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Dad obviously has problems - avoid him at all costs. Your aunt is wrong but her comments are probably making you feel guilty. Please dont!!! Your safety is paramount and I would suggest talking this over (counselling/friends etc) to try and come to terms with the disappointment that your Dad hasnt behaved as a 'proper Dad' should to you.
Very best of luck
2007-02-06 11:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by happiness_5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have ZERO obligation to anybody that is danerous and destructive. The only exception might be if he is old and alone in which case you might help him find a mental hospital.
Good luck!
p.s. Your aunt is part of the SICKNESS.
2007-02-06 10:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋