my soon to be husband his x wife asked him if she can come to our wedding. I understand that my three step daughters will be a part of our wedding day and marriage. I say the ***** can show up but my sisters and family say no.
2007-02-06 10:38:52 · 36 answers · asked by ARACELI T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's just not appropriate. Your fiance can explain this to her in a kind way. Under no circumstances should you send her an invitation.
2007-02-06 10:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by artemisaodc1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your fiancee say on the matter? That sort of dictates the the response. It also has a lot to do with their history and current relationship.
Does she have some sort of right to show up? Not really. Even if she is friends with her ex, that is more than balanced by a show of respect to get out of the way for the new relationship. What does her wanting to attend even really have to do with anything?
There might be something to be said for being the bigger person, but screw that. You don't need to be a bigger person in this case and as long as you don't throw a fit, only the petty will fault you for not inviting her.
On the other hand, if she's a mature person who you can trust to behave herself and you're ok with it, then go ahead. She might even help manage the step-daughters. But it seems like your family has significant enough reasons that this would be a bad idea.
2007-02-06 10:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by athoughttoponder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say its up to you. No matter what your husbands ex is going to be in your life because of the girls. Now you never mentioned if the two of you get along. If you feel comfortable with her being there then its okay but if you dont she should not show up. After all its your wedding day. You have the right to say who can show up and who cant. You also never mentinoed your step daugters ages.
2007-02-06 10:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by beenie 21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it would be wise to let her come. when you said yes to marrying your future husband, you agreed to also accept his past which includes is ex-wife.
especially when there are step children involved (granted, i don't know how old they are or what their relationship is like with their mother) but it would show that you are being the bigger person.
plus, you've won. he chose you. enjoy your day anyway you want with who you want, but try to remember that he picked you over her, and the she will probably be a minor part in your life because of the kids (again, i don't really know the whole situation)
good luck on your up and coming wedding and marriage and have fun!
2007-02-06 12:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Sam B. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I opened that door 15 years ago so that my stepchildren could be have both their parents in their lives. 15 years later I have some pros and cons for you. The family begins to expect you to let her at every function. At times she brings up the past that only they know about, only people they know or knew. Last Christmas, she was falling out of her shirt and her grown daughters were telling her to go cover herself up (that's how bad it was), and then eventually she started to try to get into my personal business. The pros is that you get to see all the kids at one time during the holidays because you all meet at one place. I, personally, after 15 years, don't think that it has been worth it. I love my stepkids to death, but there is always that heartbreaking desire they have to see their mommy and daddy together (they blame themselves for the divorce usually). Good Luck with whatever you decide.
2007-02-06 11:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by LaLa Land 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I remarried, my three children (from my first marriage) were in the wedding and both my wife to be and myself invited my ex to attend (we thought it would be nice for her to see the children). Though she did not come, neither of us actually had second thoughts about it. This is YOU and YOUR husband to be wedding - do it you way. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-06 10:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by Hammer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say yes to that. Even though she was once the leading lady in his life, she isn't anymore. And also because whether you like it or not they do have a background together, so now it's just like an old friend coming to his wedding. Not a big deal.
2007-02-06 10:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never mind what your sisters and family thinks....this is your wedding and you have every right to invite whoever you want whether they like it or not...its your special day...not theirs...
first of all its really up to you to decide if you are ok and do not harbor any anger towards her....marriage is a celebration and if you feel uncomfortable if she ever shows up...then just say no....it
doesn't hurt if you let her be part of your big day, but as long as you don't really mind... its your big day, you shouldn't be angry at anyone and should be open to people, you're celebrating a happy moment and you don't have to exclude people who just wanna show up to be part of the joy that you will be having at your wedding day... but if you do feel like having someone at your celebration is just gonna ruin it for you...then don't invite them...
but it is most important that you are humble and be radiating with kindness and solitude at your wedding day... you need to show that you are the bigger person in these kinds of problems...i mean common ,its really a bad image for a bride to show her unkindness specially in her moments to cherish
2007-02-06 10:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by badluck13b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it really depends on the relationship that your soon to be hubby has with his ex! how long have they divorced? did she start seeing others? I understand that your family is opposing to this, that is a normal reaction but you are marrying this man and his ex will be a part of your life no matter what so you should explain this to them! good luck! and CONGRATULATIONS on your soon to happen wedding! god bless u!
2007-02-06 10:54:04 · answer #9 · answered by minniemousemaru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way should she come, unless you want an awfull wedding day, the last time he stood up there and said his vows to spend the rest of his life with someone...was with her, and when he is saying them again, she will be sitting there, think what will be going through their minds, its NOT good to have her in the room!! The girls involved is great, but they ended their marriage, this is your marriage now, its not her buisness to ruin your day of joining together!!!
2007-02-06 10:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by sabina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend I was in the same situation,all that it is is jealous and she just wants to see how you are going to respond to her she thinks that maybe by showing up to your wedding that you are going to go off and be an embarrassment to yourself and to your family if I was you go ahead invite her and enjoy your day be polite to her tell your husband all night in his ear I LOVE YOU BABY and make sure that she see you and just laugh after that trust me it will make you feel good to laugh at her
2007-02-06 10:53:29 · answer #11 · answered by jodiejohnson76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋