Should My Boyfriend and I move in together?

Question

OK, so I have been Dating my boyfriend for 8 months and im head over heals for him and i know he feels the same way. we have always had a long distance relationship, we live about 200 miles apart. we are one of those examples where opposites attract. we are completely different people with a lot of different views and we are both very argumentative, we love to argue with each other over everthing. Thats not the issue though, we both love that. a month ago he surprised me and told me that next school year (we are both pre-med students) he is moving up north to go to school with me. Im so exicited! then, last night he asked me if when he moves up here if I would get an apartment with him and we could live together. A part of me would love that, but another part of me is scard to death, that is a big step after long distance. I dont know. do you have any advice?

Answer 1

I live with my boyfriend and although it does have it's downfalls (arguing, having to make each other do chores, him finding out you don't just wake up gorgeous, getting used to each other's little quirks and bad habits) it has been a very rewarding experience. It's great to be able to come home to the one you love and have somebody to help you out when you've had a bad day. It also helps financially to have someone to lean on. I do understand your apprehensiveness since you never really see him everyday anyway. It's a big step going from hardly spending time with each other to waking up together every day. But then again, if you've overcome obstacles like being 200 miles away from each other and you're still going strong for 8 months, imagine what else you could get through together! If you're still not sure about it then get your own apartment for a while and let him get his. Get a 6 month lease or something and feel it out. If after that period of time you're still constantly wanting to be together and things are going good then go for it.

Answer 2

Answer your gut feelings! Once you're in med school, you will learn that good doctors are the ones who follow their instincts. It wuold be foolish to commit to sharing a home after really not knowing each other well (except for the phone calls/phone sex) Eight months even dating regularly is too early to move in together unless you're just friends or he is a gay pal. Great that you'll be attending the same school as this will give you a chance to see how he interacts with people on a daily basis. could be that he argues with EVERYONE - not just you and that would be a hell to live with as no one would want you two around. Going to med school is a HUGE UNDERTAKING and you need to be grounded emotionally and physically in order to do well. You have a financial and psychological commitment to yourself for the next 7 years so it is not the time to be jumping into the deep end! Good luck.

Answer 3

If you know him well enough then my advice is go for it and see where it takes you, life is full of these big steps and moving in for any 2 people will have it problems, and yes you will argue, probably spend 1 day wondering why the hell you did this, but mostly it will be great and you can start on your life together as a couple living together.

Also, thank you for your answer to my question, it was great and i thoroughly appreciate it, I would have given you best answer but I dont want to leave the question up, so Im sorry that I cant give you the points, but know you have my thanks.

Answer 4

Good luck. Everyone is diffrent. Consider all the pros and cons. Literally-write them all down...I have been with my fiance for almost 5 years, and we live together for the last 2 months-full time...not going back and forth...it is hard even though I know him inside and out. I see with everyone I know that after 1 year-the fights begin..make it through that first. You start to really know eachother and things bug you...then you argue "why are you talking to me like that"..."I did not say anything mean?" ect....it is next school year-what fall...you have a good time away. Dont get nervous about the future. Make a decision late summer. Spend a lot of time in the summer together and you will know.Look at these sites:
http://www.palimony.com/1.html
http://www.askmen.com/dating/datingadvice/24_dating_tips.html
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Neder18.html

Answer 5

I would suggest to wait a while after he's moved in you area for a while. Make sure that you would want to see him EVERY single day. I've lived with two people in the past. It takes A LOT of work. You would have to see him every day and the little things that were cute, can end up annoying. Making decisions you once made up all alone, you would have to consult him. It's nice to have someone to come home to, but sometimes you need your own space. Give it six months of living apart, but in the same vicinity and see how it goes! Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Risky business. Either marry the guy or get separate living arrangements.

What happens if you find that you cannot stand to live with him, for whatever reason? What if he finds out that it's not working for him? Who will have to move out? Pre-med is tough enough. A little pregnancy goes a long way.

Answer 7

I say go for it, but just in case try for a shorter lease. With the stress of school adding to those arguements, you should be able to tell if you ought to renew the lease after those initial 6 months.

My boyfriend and I moved in together after almost a year, and it's worked out great for us.

Best of luck to you, both in school and love!

Answer 8

Its a way off. Spend some time at his place - really LOOK at how he lives. Because it probably won't change when he's with you.


I think its an ok idea, if he's a good man.

Answer 9

Wow.....Big step alright! Man, Go for it..after ur in skool and see him...u dont know if he is a pervert or an Old man....but like always I can be wrong...go for it if u and him are all ready for something like that.Be prepared for anything...And yes u should be scared.You shouldnt feel like if u have to..DO WAT URHEART TELLS U!♥ :)
G00d LuCk!

Answer 10

i think you should do what you want but as long as you know
the important things about him other then that its all good i dont see why hey then you know how he is if you guys ever get married