OK I'm 28 years old and used to be very close to my mother. I moved out of state when I was 25 and moved back a year and a half later and she treats me different. She always makes rude comments to me and the only time she invites me over to her house is when she wants me to do something for her. I brought this to her attention and told her that it really hurts my feelings with the things she says and she just said "I never say those things" then she proceeded to tell me that I do the same thing to her. I told her that I do not realize that and she should let me know if I say things that hurt her feelings. About an hour ago I was on the phone with her and she got really nasty with me and I said something to her about it and she starting yelling at me so I hung up on her. Should I call her or wait for her to call me? I'd appreciate honest and sincere answers, I want a good relationship with my mother like I used to have, I am 6 months pregnant and want things the way they were.
2007-02-06 09:24:32 · 12 answers · asked by jgurl1979 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thanks for your answers. I tried to call and she wont answer. I think I am going to ask her to go to dinner with me this weekend so we can talk.
2007-02-06 10:30:11 · update #1
Lets get this straight you are 28years old and you are really
getting bullied by your mother. Well lets just put her in her place
Mother you either give me respect or else you have lost not
only a daughter but a beautiful grandchild. I am not your
punching bag. Im a very hurt person. If you have any love for
me and for this darling baby i am carrying you will take a good
look at the way you speak to me from now on.
Lots of luck and keep your head up Honey you are a good
person and things will go right.
JULIA G
2007-02-06 09:36:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your all grown up and things will never be the same as they used to be. Mom is needy and you are sensitive to words, not a great combination for communication. I am sure that your mother will call you when she cools off. If you chose to call her first that is fine two, but do not apologies for things that you did not say or do. She may like to play the marter, but you do not have to be in her show. Stay adult and be strong, your new child will benefit from see you in that strength to be independent. As we get older the relationships with mom and dad change it is expected. I hope you find a good balance with mom and if you do not, it is neither ones fault, it comes down to adult personalities that differ.
Good Luck
Tracylyn S
2007-02-06 09:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next opportunity you have, be truly kind and sweet to your mother - and make it real. If you want someone to treat you a certain way, you'll have to demonstrate for them what it is you want. You cannot change someone else's behavior; you can only change your own.
Your actions will always have consequences, so if you want different consequences, you need to change your actions. It doesn't have to be hard; just do it - and you may be amazed at the results.
Just remember: this will be a new relationship with your mother, and she may need a bit of time to adjust to it. Keep working on this; you're training a wonderful new grandmother for your new baby and you want only the best!
2007-02-06 09:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by MomBear 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My God! I just hung up on my mother today too! Why? She calls me sounding really depressed and telling me she is so alone.(I live 10 min from her , she sees me & her 2 grandchildren 3-4x a week, I cater to her hand & foot (I am 4 month pregnant too) and she still drives me crazy. I cannot stress myself out! I tell her "MY Dr. TELLS ME TO STAY AWAY FROM STRESSFUL SITUATIONS" most of the time it works.
My mother always gives me (not my brother) the guilt trip!
I do everything for her, even her bills.
So, first I try talking to her telling her its not fair and that I have a million things on my plate, Children,mortgage,car payments, and a pregnancy and a husband!
Secondly, If she is still obnoxious, I blame it on the kids, dog, etc....."OH, gotta go, call you late, OK? Bye!"
I think the best method however is communication.Tell her that you are 28 and life is stressful enough without the support of your parent/s. Maybe she feels you dont have any time for her anymore, so try to make time to ease her mind. Good Luck! Im still working on my mom. even though I know she doesnt get it! :) Good Luck!
2007-02-06 11:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is there something that may have triggered her reaction to you after you moved back? I mean...it's kind of immature for her to be acting in this manner. She seems to be resentful of the fact that you moved away in the first place, as if you didn't need her. If it were me, I would call once a week, just to see how she is doing. Should the conversation get intense, kindly tell her that you have another call coming in and you'll speak to her later. Hope this helps.
2007-02-06 09:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by crodriguez1010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make the call... don't wait.
It sounds as though the move changed the relationship between you and your mum. Perhaps your mum is angry because it meant that you didn't need her or she felt abandoned.
Talk to her further and find out what is upsetting her. There could be other things happening in her life that she's not sharing with you. It could be causing her to be unhappy and taking it out on you.
2007-02-06 09:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by midnight_lady 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your mother might have a problem with control and remembering what she has said.
I had knew a couple people like this and it was the early signs of alsimers disease.
Keep an eye on her and try to keep a list of times written down when this happens
2007-02-06 09:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by zen522 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
call her now please,your mom is probably going through a stage of being afraid of losing her little girl she may be just realising it and is afraid to face it talk to her i lost my mom and i miss her terribly don't wait call her now because she is the only mom that you have and when she is gone you will never find anything in this world to replace her my mom passed away in 95 and to this day i still cry before i go to sleep mothers are gods gifts they are the most precious people on the face of this earth.
2007-02-06 09:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call her. See how she is doing. If she needs anything etc...My mother always told me "kill em with kindness"
Maybe there is an underlying issue that your mother hasnt told you about and that is why she is acting this way. Is it possible she is angry that you are pregnant?
2007-02-06 09:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sense she started yelling, I'd wait for her to call you. Us mom's can be real pains!!
I try so hard to give my kids good advice, but they don't want to hear it. I'm not perfect.
2007-02-06 09:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋