I cought my 12 year old son haveing sex?

Question

ok just 10 min agao i just caught my 12 yearl old son haveing sex with our neighbor. She is 11 they both seem really embarresed

should i ground him or what what should i do

sorry about the spelling i was in a hurry

it was when i just came home from work
and i checked to see if he was doing his homework

Answer 1

wow. jokingly I wanted to say give him a high five. But then I thought about the ages and I am just shaking my head. Where did they get the idea that having sex at 12 and 11 was a good idea? Maybe you should put a block on the sex channels? I feel sorry for you.

Answer 2

You can not ground your son for his natural curiocity of sex or for chosing to have sex, even at this young age. My biggest consern would be how does he know about sex and has someone been doing thing to your son that he is now acting out with other kids. Could be from the girl in the same concern? If both of them are that young chances of actual penetration is unlikely. I think you need to take a breath and relax a minute. Acting on it when this just happen is you acting out of desperation as to have it not be true. It is true, you saw it. My feeling is your son should be talking to his dad about what he was doing and why. If dad is not in the picture then he needs a good uncle or grand dad or any other male figure you trust. He needs the talk mom and that is ok. I would also monitor his friends in the house for a while and set up teen house rules. No closed doors with friends over etc. you know the rules, they have not changed in years. Calm down and know two thing. Your son has a nuatural curiacity for girls and you are catching this before a complaint is made for rape of a minor under the age of 12. He could be in big trouble and you need to talk to the girls parents before she does. This shows them that you are wanting to help and are concerned for both of the children not just your. You need to make sure you son did not hurt that young lady too. I am sorry this happened. Please note that most kids this age do not act out sexually in this manor unless someone is doing or has already touched them in a wrong way. How else would a 12 year old know how to have sex.
Sincerely and with Care. My spell check is not wiorking so, I am sorry for my lack of language skill.
Tracylyn S

Answer 3

You should tell the girls parents that their child is sexually active. You should take your son and get him tested for stds you dont know if this is the first time for either of them and its probably not. Talk to your son about the consequences of sex. He may know the but not fully understand most kids think it wont happen to them and when it does its too late (pregnancies, stds, etc..) Take him to the grocery store show him how much it cost to get groceries for a newborn its very expensive. Explain to him that he is definetly not old enough to face these consequences and then hope for the best. because you cannot prohibit him from doing something kids always find new ways... good luck..

Answer 4

I think you should be having a serious sex talk with him.

I'd also make the neighbor sit through your speech on sex too.

Grounding him may cause him to have problems with sex later on, even cause you caught him.

Don't by any means tell them sex is dirty, but point out about what dangers there are in it too. I've known 5 different 11 year olds who have become pregnant.

You best inform the girls folks too.

Answer 5

The most important thing is to talk to him about it, he won't like it but it needs to be done. He needs to be made aware of the dangers, pregnancy, std's, etc... You also need to let him know that what he was doing is normal but he shouldn't be doing it at his age. You don't want to scar him for life by making him think what he did is a sin or dirty or what have you. Just be open with him and tell him that he should not be doing that until he is an adult. In the end, you don't have much control over whether he does it or not.

Answer 6

i think a good place to start is to see why your 12 year old is even familiar with how sex works and why you need advice from YA on what to do. You need some lessons in parenting... was it with someone his age? That is just scary! You need to parent your child and def get into open communication. and you also need to speak with the other child's parents. if i was in their shoes I would want to know. I agree with some of the others, you need to teach about safe sex. that is just wrong. He should be outside riding his bike, not having sex.

Answer 7

Okay, are you serious? First off as a mother you should know how to spell, maybe you're a bad influence. What kind of children are you raising where they would be having sex or even have knowlege of what that is? No. You whoop his little tail, and tell her parents. You ground him and give him every sort of punishment and you explain to him that what he was doing was wrong.

Answer 8

Yikes!!!

I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him about the risks of sex. It's going to be uncomfortable, but he needs to know what he's getting himself into!! Could you imagine if he got the girl pregnant????

With he and the girl being so young, you might want to consider talking to the girl's parents as well...

The embarassment of the situation will be punishment enough, but at least it could prevent another pre-teen pregnancy.

Answer 9

Get her a pregnancy test and tell her parents. Parents that sit back and do nothing about this only ask for trouble down the road.

Your son & the neighbor OBVIOUSLY need more parental guidence or a parent in general.

Answer 10

Wow..that is crazy! I can't even begin to imagine a child that age even thinking about sex, let alone having it. I wouldn't necessarily ground him, as that might lead to rebellion on his part. Instead, try talking to him about sex and about using proper protection. It's a scary thing, but unfortunately, I don't think you have much of an option. Explain the dangers, etc.. of having sex.