Should I let my 17 year old son sleep in the same room as his Swedish girlfriend also 17 who is visiting us?

Question

My parents never would have let me and I don't think I would have felt comfotable anyway. But have times changed and am I living in the past?

Answer 1

Might i suggest (if your a male) to let your wife sleep in your sons room and the swede sleep in your room.This way both are being supervised at the same time.
Might take some convincing your wife though.

Answer 2

NO way ....
Times may have changed , but lines must still be drawn .
You are also living in that house , you make the rules,
and stick with what you feel comfortable with .

There is noneed for the visit to be unwelcoming

If you have a spare room, that is where she can stay,
while she is a guest in your house .

Or if you are short of space
your son to give up his room for her.
and sleep on the couch in the lounge

He is not old enough or wise enough, to sleep with a girl yet!

and, the 17 year old Swedish girl's parents,
would be horrified, if they realised ,their daughter
was sleeping in the same room as her 17 year old boyfriend !

I would certainly insist that they had separate rooms

let them know just what you want
and it will be , a happy pleasant visit .

>^,,^<

Answer 3

No i met my b/f when i had just gone 18 i met him while on a holiday he lived up north i lived down south so we only saw each other at a weekend but he had to sleep in brothers room for the 1st year of are relationship, because my mum and dad wanted to see that we were really serious before they let him sleep in my room. And this made me respect my family more, we are still together 7 years on but live together now. We would never have sex in there house because i knew they didn't want me to in there houses, this did change when we shared a room

Plus when i stay at my boyfriend we could sleep in the same room there so we were at it like rabbits if you are OK with this let them.

Answer 4

If I was a 17 year old lad again and had a 17 year old Swedish girl in my room I know what I'd want to be doing. ;) At the end of the day, it's your house and your rules. If you wouldn't normally let a girlfriend to stay over you shouldn't now. If you did let them share you will get a really nice card on mothers/fathers day though!

Answer 5

As a guy who vividly remembers being 17, i'd say yes.\

As a parent, I'd probably say no.

Whatever you decide, you should be realistic. It doesn't matter what room they're sleeping in, if they want to change rooms after lights out, that's what they'll do. You should make sure your son has protection and knows how to use it. Impress upon him how important it is that condoms should be used 100% f the time.

Trust me, it might seem like by giving him condoms you are condoning it or giving him the green light to have sex. The reality is that if they want to have sex, they're going to do it wether you give him condoms or not. It's better to make sure he's safe than to try to set some moral example that they're not going to follow.

Answer 6

I don't think you should; here's why:

This is not so much about the premarital sex issue.(Which by the way, is very risky, both physically and even more emotionally risky. I think it is safe to say that nearly everyone who does it gets their feelings hurt in the end, and ends up with at least a few bad habits.) But that is only my biased opinion.

As I said, that is not so much the issue. The issue is that you are implying to your son that he and his girlfriend should have carte blanche; to behave as they please while in your home. The fact that the idea makes you uncomfortable indicates that it is probably a bad one. This is not good for your relationship, and it is not good for theirs. Since it is your house, you are well within rights to demand a little courtesy and propriety from your guests.

Now, you can't really prevent your son from having sex, it's his decision. But it is never too late to have an honest chat with him, ask him what he knows, tell him what you know, and that being in the same room just makes you uncomfortable. I should hope that he is mature enough to honestly respect your feelings.

Good luck, whatever you decide....
~Donkey Hotei

Answer 7

It is complrtly up to you, do what you feel is right and your son will respect that.

My mum and dad did let my then boyfriend, now hubby sleep with me in my room as we where responsible and had been seeing each other a long time, out of respect we never did anything whilst under there roof.

12 years on and we are happily married with 2 kids another on the way.

So no it dodnt always end in tears, or unwanted pregnancys!!!

Answer 8

I would, I think if you try to stop them they'll only do things behind your back. I have friends who's parents haven't let them share a bed before (they were both 19 at the time!) and they'd just sneak in late and sneak out early. A 17 year old isn't a child and shouldn't be treated like one

Answer 9

With regard to some of your other replies found here, it is likely that they would also condone drug and alcohol use by children "as long as it is done under your roof".
I believe you already knew the answer to your question before you asked. You should trust your instincts (gut); it was right.
Yes, your this couple could, in fact, choose to do as they please away from your home and supervision. However, if you allow such happenings under your roof with your full knowledge, you then will have to share responsibility for any potential harmful outcome. There's a big difference between your son rejecting your input and doing as he pleases where you have no control...and you, by your actions, condoning the behaviour.
Good Luck and stay strong, Mom.

Answer 10

I don't think it's fair to assume what they would do, just because a lot of teenagers would dosen't mean all would. It is sensible however to consider the possibility. Would you be comfortable with that?

Teenagers will do whatever they set their mind on, like it or not, but it's your home and you have the right to say if you don't want it happening under your roof, if that's the way you feel. I'm not going to tell you that you should or shouldn't, i think it all depends on how comfortable you would be if she sleeps in his room. Everybody feels different, go with your gut.