My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had our share of ups and downs but we always managed to work it out. However, recently he has been distancing himself. He does not like his job. He got into a fight with his boss because my boyfriend was hoping to get promoted but his boss would not let him. He has been pretty upset about it and since then it's as if he is not "there". He is irritable. He has been applying for new jobs and he says he needs to get himself sorted as he is not happy there at all. Since the day he has been told he won't get promoted, which in the industry he works for, that's the only way to climb up, he hasn't been attentive that much. He told me the other day that he is sorry that he has been neglecting me. I never actually told him that he neglects me. However, last weekend we got into an argument as I became needy of him and he said that he needs some time for himself. What is it that I should do in order to support him? Does he not love me?
2007-02-06 09:01:17 · 8 answers · asked by Elisa N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him a little time to come to terms with not getting that promotion. Don't let him take out any frustration on you but don't give him new problems to deal with by making demands on his mental resources when he's trying to focus on his career options.
2007-02-06 09:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend has already shown that he does care about you by apologizing for "neglecting you". He is odviously going through a lot of stress and it's understandable how he is reacting.
Hold on to this guy. Don't let him slip too far, but give him his space. Don't call him too much. Don't need him too much. Be supportive of him. Everybody goes through bad times, and as his girlfriend, you should be there when he needs you, and stay clear when he doesn't.
Once he gets a stable job that he enjoys and offers promotion, he should go back to the way he used to be- but you have to hold out that long.
Sometimes it will get frustrating. Three years is a long time. He has been mature and taken respoonsiblitly for his actions by apologizing to you. If you want to continue this relationship, the best thing you can do is be supportive and give him space.
2007-02-06 09:12:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may think he loves you but he's got pretty severe personal problems that drastically interfere with the connection. The fact that he got into a fight with his boss is a huge danger signal to you that should very much make you rethink your connection to him. His reaction to not being promoted is another signal that would give me pause. Were I your father or counselor and you asked me, I'd say that a good reaction to being informed of a non-promotion would be for the guy to ask his boss what he needs to do to get promoted and then do what needs to be done.
2007-02-06 09:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's frustrated at the moment and he may think things are getting bleak; it has nothing to do with you.
You can make it clear though that you do need support and not just him (say this calmly and passively). If he doesn't rationalise or apologise, back off immediately.
Support him through his decisions (give him space when you can really see he needs it, help him find a job that allows him to reach his aspirations, etc.) Your boyfriend has strong goals and aspirations (sort of the 'winner's syndrome thing), he has needs to become the best but he may be a bit impatient which he may not realise at the moment (although you may not agree with me).
Give it time.and good luck
2007-02-06 09:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it is critical to know that guys tend to build their self-esteem from their performance at work -- if they do poorly at work, or lose their job, it's like their world exploded! I'm sure it's very difficult for him to be happy about anything right now. Just tell him that you love him very much and think he's the greatest guy in the world and that you're there for him if he wants to talk about it. Don't expect him to talk about it though! It's hard for guys to talk about stuff like that becuase they don't even understand it most of the time. But knowing that he has your support is huge! Give him his space for now, and don't burden him with anything. He'll come around.
2007-02-06 09:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by Yamson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read somewhere:
When a woman's love life is ok, so is her job and everything else. if a man's job is not ok, everything else is not ok...
honey men are like that, u gatta understaand him and be patient. he doesnt want u to know his feelings coz he feels like he has failed,,,try n understand. dont tolk about his work, try n talk bout something else n do what u know makes him smile after a long day at work...men were ment to be providers, heroes, he probably feels like he has failed u...show him he's the best there can ever be.
2007-02-06 10:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him when he needs you, tell him that he'll get through it and help him look through the job adds since he obv isnt getting on in his current place of work.
2007-02-06 09:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Amy D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PU$$Y
2007-02-06 09:04:04 · answer #8 · answered by FAQ 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋