Why do men do this?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had our share of ups and downs but we always managed to work it out. However, recently he has been distancing himself. He does not like his job. He got into a fight with his boss because my boyfriend was hoping to get promoted but his boss would not let him. He has been pretty upset about it and since then it's as if he is not "there". He is irritable. He has been applying for new jobs and he says he needs to get himself sorted as he is not happy there at all. Since the day he has been told he won't get promoted, which in the industry he works for, that's the only way to climb up, he hasn't been attentive that much. He told me the other day that he is sorry that he has been neglecting me. I never actually told him that he neglects me. However, last weekend we got into an argument as I became needy of him and he said that he needs some time for himself. What is it that I should do in order to support him? Does he not love me?

Answer 1

Why are you only focusing on what you're feeling. The guy is feeling trapped in his job. Most men have the desire to climb to the top of the hill. If you keep crowding him you will surely lose him. Be there for him, and you'll get through this together.

Answer 2

Your guy is under a lot of stress and anxiety right now. Give him the space that he needs. He does love you. The fact that he though enough to snap out of it, even for a short moment, to realize that he's neglecting you should be an indication. Consider yourself lucky that you have a man that can do that.

However, he is under a lot of stress. A man invests a lot of himself, his ego, his identity, and his self-worth in his job. If he's distant toward you right now, it's because he's trying to work out his problems at work. Men can get ridiculously focused on one thing to the neglect of all others, but that's how they are.

The best thing you can do for him is to let him be and be there for him. Don't put any demands or relationship stress on him. He has enough to worry about. It sounds like your relationship is healthy enough anyway. Comfort him and listen to him complain if he actually does complain. Don't try to make him talk about it either. If he wants to, he will. You can comfort him by reassuring that you love him and think he's the greatest man in the world and that you are lucky to have him, regardless of what or how his job situation works out. Let him have the security in knowing that his relationship is OK so he can focus his energy on solving his work problems without having to worry about you as well. Now is not the time to get needy. You need to be the one to give right now, not him. He actually needs you now, not the other way around. He needs you to understand him and not sulk and not put any more demands on him so he can resolve what he needs to resolve. I assure you that if your relationship is healthy and your man is as good as I think he is, he will come back to you when he's worked it out and appreciate you and make up for all the things he's neglected.

Bake him cookies :) (that's just me though. My guy likes pie and cookies)

Answer 3

sounds like he is suffering from stress and/or depression as a result of this work problem. he should get some councilling from a doctor so he can sort things out. i am going thru depression and i can see how i tend to distance myself from others.. he probably doesn't want you to see this depressed side of him.

if you have been together three years, then he should be able to ppen up and trust you and tell you all his feelings.. ask him if her would consider some sort of doctor visit to see if he needs a little help to get over this tough situation. offer to go with him and and be there for moral support..

i think he does still love you, but he's going thru some serious issues that have forced him to stop thinking of everything else in his life..

Answer 4

He loves you but is going through a crisis of money supply.
If he does not or can not get promoted he will not progress same in all companies.
he is pissed off and felling useless depending on why the boss said no. so he is impotent at work.
go slow be kind rub massage care for him now he needs you to hold him up .
he has nothing left to support you with just now.

Answer 5

He does love you, he just had a lot going on right now, if you want to be close, help him look for a new job, offer to send resume's out for him or go through the classifieds with him. When you are not with him, look online for jobs that he would like and print them or email them to him. Become more interested in his problems and quit worrying about why he isn't paying attention to you.

Answer 6

Don't be so selfish, he's going through a hard time right now and he's putting his all in getting a secure job and all that... give him his space and let him work it all out... yes, he still loves you, Needy, but he also has a lot on his mind and needs to work it out.. and you should be supportive and let him do that.

Answer 7

He loves you, but he is going through some tough times.
Just tell him you will be there for him when he needs you.
Try to let him sort it all out and most of all, pray for him. I have been in your situation. Things will get better.

Answer 8

he loves you and maybe he wants to marry you and this promotion would help him out financially. However i'd help him tolookfor a job and tell him that I support him in whatever choice he make, but please don't leave me hanging out on a limb.

Answer 9

Hmph I agree with shark

Answer 10

Why do women think everything is about them?

He's having work problems, that's it.