my honey and i have been dationg for 2 months. we are very different from one another (republican/democrat; christian/buddhist; introvert/extravert; mature/fun-loving). along with all the romantic momens and sweet IMs, we had quite a few fights. We both realize that both of us will have to change to make this thing work. And there are some things we wanted to improve long ago (which will make our relationship much better).
Last 2 weeks have been hard and stressfull for us.
Q1: is it woth doing all those changes?
Q2. since our relationship has been under a lot of stress latelly, what can i do to sooth him (a lot of it is really my fault).
Thanks
2007-02-06 08:55:22 · 20 answers · asked by ---- 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we're both in high school, so please, answer appropriatelly :)
2007-02-06 08:57:16 · update #1
Opposite attract but similarities last
2007-02-06 08:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by Cool_Guy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I have to tell you that those who have studied these matters have found that the more similar people are in background, race, culture, education, tastes, character etc.,the better their chances of being comfortable with each other and of forming lasting relationships.
That the opposites attract is not really true, just a facile explanation of what one sees sometimes for a short time. Nearly all those who marry outside their race divorce and those who did not, have had to make very great sacrifices. There is an old Greek proverb: a shoe from your own village, even if it is patched. Good luck
2007-02-06 09:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would only suggest "changing" if you know its a change for the better, and change you BOTH want. Otherwise, find someone who can love 100% of you.
My wife and I dated for 5 years, and been married for 4 now. We're very much opposites in terms of personality (introvert/extrovert, impulsive/cautious, etc.), and it makes for a lot of fun and interesting times. But we also have a lot of similarities (both Christian, politically similar, same values and morals). Those help hold us together.
If you can work through the stress, and become better people because of it, then you're on your way. But don't kill yourself trying to change yourselves, and PLEASE DON'T TRY TO CHANGE EACHOTHER! That's the quickest way to kill a healthy relationship.
Oh, and if you're in high school -- yeah, move on. Don't stress about stuff like this for at least 8 more years. Studies show better marriage success that way.
2007-02-06 09:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by Yamson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep working on the communication. My relationship has gone through some of the same things, and we're almost identical/alike, in the way we love, think, our insecurities, our passions etc, so I don't think it matters if you're alike or totally opposite, it all boils down to lots of patience from both sides and understanding, and communicate a lot. Only you know if the relationship is worth the changes and efforts, sounds like it it. Give it a chance, you will never know if you don't
2007-02-06 08:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites attract is an Urban Myth. Couples who have things in common stay together. Since you are both teeny boopers then you both should just split and date others. That is what dating is all about. To find out what he/she will be like before marrying.
And no, the changes are not worth it. For one can not ever change the essence of a person.
2007-02-06 09:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by Big C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being from different backgrounds can be tough. Two months really isn't very long to know anyone but it sounds like a good time to to evaluate things. Here are some questions you can ask of yourself: Where do you see yourself in a year? If you were to marry, would you have children? How would you raise them?
I'm not saying it can't be done but this is going to be a challenge.
2007-02-06 09:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yet you've hit on the answer your self once you assert "complementary"! those who're opposites at the instantaneous are not unavoidably "opposing" one yet another yet are complementing one yet another, one providing the element/s that the different lacks, resembling the concept of yin and yang. companions do not should be precisely alike with the intention to be properly proper, regardless of the indisputable fact that in a co-depending situation it really is needed that they a minimum of have a similar hardship-free values. There must be a particular pressure that pulls 2 issues or 2 people jointly. Appreciation of each others changes should be purely that.
2016-12-03 19:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by papen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are complete opposites then you probly should not be together because it is going to start a lot of problem. If you guys have been arguing a lot then you guys are going to keep arguing until one of you says that enough and break up. so either try to avoid it all or go out of town for a while and when you get back he'll be so happy to see you.....
2007-02-06 09:01:47 · answer #8 · answered by keep'n' it real 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rarely, usually when opposites attract it is mostly a sexual thing. That is always the best part because opposites make great sex at first. With that said what usually happens 6 months, one of you will want out. The differences will catch up to one of you, they almost always do!
2007-02-06 08:58:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposite do attact. I believe that two different people are more likely to stay together than two people who have more in common. When your dating someone who has different personality traits, things seem to balance out. If everyone was alike relationships would be boring.
2007-02-06 09:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Liberal City 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋