My husband and I grew up together. His parents used to be very friendly towards me. We fell apart and then started dating in 05. His parents have been hostile towards me from the second I walked in their house. I've done everything I can think of. I went and visited, I even called his mother every week to see how she was doing. Whenever we go and visit, still to this day, they won't hardly speak to me.
I went through the possible reasons of why they don't like me and I'm still clueless. My husband isn't the youngest, or only son. We didn't live together until we got married, so they couldn't say I was a tramp and not good enough for their son.
I guess I'm just asking is anything I can do. My friends say to leave it alone, but I feel that I should at least try. I married him and that means his family as well.
2007-02-06 08:42:40 · 15 answers · asked by Dani M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband and I have talked about his parents and the way he feels is that I shouldn't worry because he loves me. He says that there is nothing that can change his parents because they don't feel they are doing anything wrong.
2007-02-07 03:47:25 · update #1
You can't, they'll have to like you on their own.
2007-02-06 08:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Gasman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that his parents used to be friendly to you suggests that they don't think anything is just inherently wrong with you, and that they could like you. This probably means that something happened to either offend them or change their opinion; something that you might not even have noticed. There is really only one way I can think of to figure out what this might have been, and that is to ask them. I know that probably sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but if you really have no idea what may have changed their feelings toward you, it's probably the only way you're going to find out. If you can't talk to them about it yourself, maybe it would be easier for your husband to bring it up. I think that you're right in saying that you should at least try, because a strained relationship with your husbands parents could easily stress your relationship with him as well. Hopefully they will be honest and give you something to work with, and if not, just keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like you're already putting more effort into improving the relationship than many of people would, and that says a lot for you in itself.
2007-02-06 16:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by derelicthypotheses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing I want to know and you did not say is how does your husband feel about this. Is he supportive of you? Has he tried to talk to his parents about this issue? As long as your husband is on your side and you are trying to be friendly to them and be loving and caring to their son, your husband, then the burden is on them to see you for the fine person that you are. If your husband does not protect you from their hostility and sides with them instead of you, then you have a much bigger problem that needs to be addressed. You must have your husbands support first before you can tackle the in-law problem.
Best wishes
2007-02-06 18:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by rac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like you can't do anything to make someone 'love' you, You can't do anything to make them 'like' you either. Be good to their son, Be kind and patient towards them. And above all else --- just be yourself. Anyone who is kind enough to worry about the feelings of people who seemingly don't care about them is a very special person. So relax --- and listen to YOURSELF. Use your own instincts but protect your own heart too. Good Luck and God Bless You.
2007-02-06 17:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by scottyusa1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself and stop trying so hard to please them. Always be polite to them, never disrespectful, but keep your distance.
You're no longer just some girlfriend, you're his wife. Be proud and stop worrying about it.
One day you will have the grandchildren and hold all of the cards. For now, don't bother unless they come to you. And let your husband know, very sweetly, that you have made tis decision.
2007-02-06 16:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by K M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like u have given it a try for them to like you, now let it be, your husband loves you and that is who you married so don't worry about how they feel. so people r never happy. Its there loss if they don't want a relationship with you.
2007-02-06 16:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by c_schreel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try so hard...let them come to you. Don't ever let them know that you are worried about whether they like you or not. You give them way too much power.
You will be fine. They are the ones missing out, not you.
If they want to be snobs, let them. They have to live with their own conscience.
2007-02-06 16:58:24 · answer #7 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. That is their problem not yours. As long as you and your husband have a good relationship and love each other that all that matters.
2007-02-06 16:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by unstress38 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
W hat does your husband think about this? you have tried to get on let them get on with it you cant make people like you you sound like a really caring person its their loss xxxxxxxxx
2007-02-06 16:50:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person that you should be focused on is your husband, what ever their problem is, is theirs, you don't have to live with them,life is to short to worry about them.
2007-02-06 17:02:16 · answer #10 · answered by LucyBoop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man might me able to shed some light on this. Have you asked him? Don't push it and give it time. They might come around.
2007-02-06 17:01:16 · answer #11 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋