my mother-in-law is one of those no it alls, i am married and have 2 step-children and one child of our own with my husband. but, my husbands mother is another story. my husband thinks the world of his mom, but he wont ever stand up to her. when it comes to our kids if we do something that she doesnt agree with she blows up on me, she never yells at her son, but she does me. and when i tell my husband all the mean things his mom said to me, he does nothing, he has never once stood up for me to his mom. example. if she watches the kids for us, and i tell her i dont want them to have any junk food, it return she says, they r my grand-children and when they r with me in my house i will do what-ever i want with them and give them what i want. she has always been like this and i dont no what to do, i tell my husband and he just says thats how she is she is set in her own ways. but i dont no what to do or how to handle an in-law like this. any advice? PLEASE!!!!
2007-02-06 07:39:15 · 11 answers · asked by greengrass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she doesnt respect me and how i want my kids raised, i have rules for my kids but when they r with her, she throws them out the window. she says we r doing a bad job raising r kids, just because she doesnt agree with r parentig. i am to the point to wear i dont want her to watch my kids if she isnt going to respect me or my rules. is that wrong?
2007-02-06 07:43:00 · update #1
You are absolutely right. Your husband needs to stand for what you and him agree with with your children. Not what dear mom wants. I would not allow her to watch my children. Period. She will never change because that is what is being allowed. That is confusing to children. She blatantly disrespects you and bullies you to get her way. Is the kids and you who are being hurt by this. Not dear dad. Until he is affected directly he will never do anything to change it. I would never want my children exposed to someone who is so selfish and immature as she is. And he is being the same. Am giving my honest opinion here. No offense intended to you. Stand your ground. You are doing what is in the best interests of your children. Unfortunate that sometimes you have to go it alone. Good luck.
2007-02-06 07:57:22 · answer #1 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grandparents are just like this sometimes. They like to spoil their grandchildren. As long as she is not doing anything that would really harm the children, and you need her to watch the kids, I would try to get along with her. With my own in-laws, when they suggest some parenting things that I don't agree with, I just smile, nod my head, then go home and do whatever I want. The kids will learn that they can only get away with things at her house and not at home. You won't be able to change your mother-in-law's behavior, only yours toward her and the situation, unfortunately. Your husband should stick up for you and the kids though. Just take a deep breath before going to her house and try to let her words roll off of you. Getting along with family really makes life a lot easier.
2007-02-06 15:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by mmct21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, one advantage of being a grandparent is that you can spoil your grandchildren. However, even a grandparent needs to respect the parents wishes as far as raising the kids. You need to stand up to your mother-in-law since your husband won't. If you don't she will continue stepping on you more and more and it will eventually cause troubles in your marriage. Maybe you need to tell your husband that if he doesn't do something about it you will, even if it means his mother no longer gets to watch the kids.
2007-02-06 15:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firmly but polietly tell your mother-in-law that you love her, respect her and enjoy her being around but that you are having a little problem right now with money. Ask her for some serious $$$ to implement all her many fine suggestions, tell her that your husband is to embarassed to ask for the money himself and feels a little inadequate. Let her know also that you have taken up a new hobby of kick boxing and want her to stay in shape and join you in the gym where you can kick the daylights out of her and tell her that it's all for her own good. In less than a week she'll be toast and out of your life!
2007-02-06 15:47:14 · answer #4 · answered by stupido#1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my mother in law exactly! My husband will not stand up to his mother either and he has NEVER stood up for me the whole five years we have been together. I do have one advantage over you and that is she lives in New Mexico and we live in Colorado. When she comes to visit she stays with use for a whole LONG WEEK!! And my husband is always at work, so most of the time it is me and her and the kids. My advice you need to stick up for yourself, that is what I had to do. Don't be rude or disrespectful about it but make your point and be firm and don't back down. After all she is only human, and they are YOUR children. That is all I can tell you, stand up for yourself, don't let her disrespect you especially in front of YOUR children. This is your family and she needs to respect that.Don't let her push you around, stand up for yourself or she will always be rude, disrespectful, and you will never have any say about anything EVER!! That is the only way I got my mother in law off of my back, she still likes to challenage me so to speek, but I always stand up for myself and speek my mind!!--Nice as I possibly can, without yelling or cusing)
2007-02-06 16:05:02 · answer #5 · answered by cherrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband didnt stand up for me i would kick his *** ,dont let her have the kids ,if my mother in law spoke to me like that i would smack her in the mouth ,i mean it i have had disagreements in the past but we are better now cause they know they cant **** me around ,a little junk food i think is fine but lots then no ,i believe grand parents need boundaries all this interfering stuff gets on my **** xxxx
2007-02-06 16:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She really has the right to say what is done in her home. Please know that you could easily have the same problem with your own Mom. If you were watching someone's children, would it bother you if they asked for a special diet, or something different from what you do?
Since "her way" and "your way" don't match, I'd stop using her as babysitter. Find someone that you can hire, and have them do it the way you prefer.
2007-02-06 15:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Don't let her have the kids
2. When she yells at you for how you raise the kids, tell her to shut the FK up.
3. Tell your husband to get a pair. No sex if he doesn't support you. That could be why he lost wife #1.
2007-02-06 15:50:29 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never let her watch your kids again. If she tries to start in with you, let her have it good. Let her know she's not your mother and has no say so about anything pertaining to you. Stand up for yourself, let her know her "I-know-it-all" attitude is not impressive to you and you will crush her like a bug.
2007-02-06 16:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, you sound just like me and my husband everything you said is the same as me even what you husband does my husband does (nothing).I call him a p____.anyway i just dont bother with her shes stays in her house and i in mine.And im married to him for 10 years and been together for 15.
2007-02-06 16:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by lmcm1975 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋