My three year old gets bullied!?

Question

A cousin we have on my husbands side likes to hit and shove our 3 year old son and tell him things like "shut up", "your stupid". We totally disagree with the behavior. His mother sat right by him when he did this to my son and she said nothing - he was not punished. He's 6. I was so shocked I left. She is very irresponsible - I don't want my son to think this behavior is acceptable. Any advice??????

Answer 1

Calmly yet firmly tell your cousin that her child won't be allowed over due to the bullying. You don't have to put up with things like this in your own home. If you happen to be together for a family gathering at another home, it may be necessary to leave when your son is bullied. The safety of your son is more important than how your family members feel about you cutting your visit short. Stand your ground. If she doesn't learn to control her son's behavior, at least your son won't have to suffer from it.

Answer 2

First of all, I think it's great that you're being so proactive and are open to suggestions. Since this can be a "touchy" issue with a lot of parents, in regards to stepping in and defending your child or redirecting someone elses child, I think the best thing to keep in mind is to always remain calm and respectful about how you approach the child and/or their parent (even if the parent is a friend of yours). In some instances you might not need to involve the other parent. For example, when your daughter is playing with her friend and they begin to argue or there's an issue with sharing or she's getting bullied then it's probably okay to approach them and calmly address the situation. You should be able to tell right away if the other child is responsive to your redirection or not. If not, then it might be a good idea to gently approach her parent if she's available and respectfully explain the situation and suggest you two make a fun teaching opportunity for both of the girls. For example, you could suggest you and the other girl's parent set up some role-playing situations for your kids and practice the appropriate responses and coping strategies to different situations. Doing things like that are not only beneficial for your children, but a fun bonding experience for the parents and children too. In most cases, it's really the parent's social skills when addressing another person that leads to a successful compromise or correction. Also, probably the most important lesson your child receives from a situation like that, is your ability to model the correct response and show restraint when addressing an issue with someone that might be difficult. When the situation is done, it would be helpful to go over the situation with your daughter (in age appropriate terms) what happened and verbally explain how to handle the situation, giving them plenty of praise for what they did well in the situation. There are a few fantastic books you might want to look into. The first title is: "Common Sense Parenting of Toddlers and Pre Schoolers", by Ray Burke, and Bridget Barnes. The second one is title: "No Room for Bullies" From the Classroom to Cyberspace. Teaching Respect, Stopping Abuse, and Rewarding Kindness. Editors: by Jose Bolton, Ph.D., & Stan Graeve, M.A.. The third book is called: "1-2-3 Magic" Effective Discipline for children 2-12. 3rd Edition by: Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D (winner of the National Parenting Publications Gold Award). I also encourage you to call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000 anytime 24/7, if you're looking for advice, a listening ear or want to find resources in your area. Good luck and all the best to you and your daughter......Counselor JH

Answer 3

You should keep your son away from that boy;
1. So he isn't hurt.
2. So he won't think that behavior is right.
Who cares if he's your nephew.
IF YOU DON"T LIKE HIS SOLUTION GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS MESSAGE

If you ever see your son acting that way, you must discipline him, a smack on the hand will do.
You should have immediately told your son that "What he did to you was wrong." Then you should have got him to talk about how he felt, and told him if he ever did that to other kids/people they would feel the same way.

And, that boy is your nephew you should try to stop him, don't just let it happen. Tap his hand, and tell him to stop.

Answer 4

Teach your son to stand up to being bullied. I went through the same thing. My son is 3 and there was a bigger kid taking his toys and pushing and hitting him. One day my son hit the child back and the kid backed off. But explain to your son that fighting is not always the answer. But you need to stand up for yourself or you will always get pushed around.

Answer 5

If that situation happens again, you have the right to step in and say to the other child, "That is not nice to say" or something along those lines. This may get the attention of the mother, and hopefully she will get the idea, that she should be saying something to her own son.

Answer 6

Tell that six-year-old that his behavior isn't acceptable. Make sure to say it in front of his parents so at least *they* know you don't approve. The kid may not care what you think, but the adults should.

The added bonus is your 3-year-old can you see you stick up for him and that the bad behavior isn't allowed.

If that doesn't work, stop hanging out with them.

Answer 7

I would have taken it upon myself to correct her son. I would have told him that if he could not behave like a big boy should that will have to not come back to your house. I would have asked the mother what she is going to about how he was acting as well. That is uncalled for. I know if my son would treat another child like that.. he would find himself in the corner before he knew it. Good luck.

Answer 8

Just remember to tell your son about what happens to others feelings when they get bullied and tell him the golden rule
"Do to others as you want others to do to you!"
You should talk to that mother and tell her your thoughts. She might be goin through a tough time with him too!

Answer 9

aww bless i would take him away from that boy when he is being naughty and if its possible say come over here to your son and say your such a good boy lets play here we dont want to play with nnaughty boys like him then hopefully he might realise i know its hard tho and awkward to do this when the parents are around and its awkward at that age to explain things to them i know what its like i have a autistic son whos 5 goodluck tho :)

Answer 10

Tell your child that next time he gets hit to hit him back. And i would talk to the kids mother. dont let her son push you or your child around