What do I do with my life?

Question

I'm 14 and i live with my aunt and uncle currently. For me to be able to stay with them i have to keep my grades high. But i have never had higher then a C- all threw out elementry. I was getting a B averge but it just went down to a D becaus i have been AB because i've been sick. I don't get along with my step mother at all i mean we are always fighting thats why i moved out in the first place and i don't ever want to live there again.I don't know what to do? should i hold my tounge and move back in with parents or should i do nothing. Can anyone give me any advice on what to do. I'm really just getting tierd of being rided and threatened about being kicked out.

Answer 1

you shouldnt live where you feel uncomfortable. be proactive to keep your grades up. ask a teacher for help after school. always do homework. that deffinately helps.

Answer 2

that's like blackmail....your aunt and uncle have no right to threaten u they'll kick u out!why did they even let u stay with them in the first place if they treat u like that?!i mean u probably can't get your grades up cause of all the stress,where will u live,with whom,what's better for u....u are too young to deal with that all by yourself...u should try to make your grades as high as it's possible but because of u and your education not because u'll have to move back with your parents if u don't!try talking with someone from your family and let them know that u're getting tired of the situation...

Answer 3

You poor girl what is wrong with these so-called adults ? Where is there maturity ? I am not surprised you don't trust them.They are incapable of understanding your needs ? At 14 you are still classed as a minor .They should be supporting you and encouraging you not setting conditions so they will approve of you .

Answer 4

Have you talked with them about this? I mean not alot of people are mind readers. I've had the same problem, but with my parents and when I told them, it sort of got better,they knew it was a problem 4 me and we kinda got throught it. Talking with them about this could help solve your problems. My mom and me are complete opposites and we fight all the time. I just usually just talk 2 her when its really important. I hope everything works out 4 you though.

Answer 5

I think that is sad that they threaten to kick you out. Yes, you need to keep your grades up. Do whatever you can to bring them up. Sorry you have to go through this at such a young age sweetie.

Answer 6

Show them a caring and concerned side of you. Ask them for help at your work, or if they can help get you tutoring. Alot of schools have free help before or after school. If they see that you are trying to help yourself they might lighten up on you.

Answer 7

hun if your not happy with them, it sounds like you have little choice than to just wait it out!
try showing them your doing yourbest hun, if thats not good enough then just let them know your a Person not a Piece of crap!
hang in there hun.)hugs)

Answer 8

They shouldn't pressure you like that. You're trying your best. Both situations sound sucky. Talk to your school counselor & tell him/her what's going on.

Answer 9

1) "Read the book, 'The Beginner's Guide to Insight Meditation' by: Arinna Weisman and
Jean Smith" This will Most Definitely improve yourself mentally, and emotionally. Teaches mindfulness of breathing, and a couple other techniques to people to improve their self-image,
teaches relaxation techniques, brings a stable peace of mind,
helps one generate patience, kindness, endurance, improves one's memory and concentration, and Increases Our Cognitive Thinking skills, to effectively solve all our challenges we might face in life. Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD. has proven that meditation improves the cognitive areas of the brain, helping a person to deal with things, people, and situations clearly, with a sound, intelligent mind, while living in the present moment. Also teaches how we can still have peace & happiness while physically sick; diseases too!
Also helps a person to deal effectively with worry, anger, stress, depression, anxieties, and many other unhealthy mental/emotional
distresses. You already have all you need within you to solve any problem, and face any challenge in life successful, with excellence. The book only serves as a guide.
2)
LOVE vs. Attachments.
What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them ?
Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.
Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other persons welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfill our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.
Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others' good qualities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.
Is love as it is usually understood in our society
really love ? or attachment ?
Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.
Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.
We examine someone's looks, body, education,
financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.
In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.

But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.
After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.

Desiring to be with the people a lot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -
when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.

Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !
We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.
Our problems arise not because others aren't
who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they
aren't.
Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "
What we call love is most often attachment.
It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestimates the qualities of another person.
We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.
"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear one's and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we
access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on
selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond
all the superficial appearances, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds want to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.
When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.
This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.
If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.
"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own
minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, many magnificent qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And
then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generosity, concentration and wisdom.'

'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.
We'll be actively involved with them.
If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definitely have successful friendships and personal relationships with others !! These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others, and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life.