10 year old who wont settle down?

Question

My 10-year-old son Tyler gets good grades in school, but his teachers keep telling me he is acting out. I've noticed a definite increase in energy with him. I'm constantly punishing him for beating up his 4-year-old brother.. The fact that he isn't struggling mentally with a learning disability cancells out ADD. Is my son just naturally hyperactive? I'm pregnant with my 4th child and I don't have the energy to chase him around. Has this happened to any other mothers?

Answer 1

I'm not a mother so I can't tell you from that point of view. However, I can lend a helping hand on how to handle him...lot of 'h's.

First off, see if you can figure out if something is bothering him, be it around the house or whatever. Make sure you don't lead him on to a suspicion of your own but rather let him tell you in his own words. Sometimes when a child is picked on or has been picked, they like to channel that anger on someone smaller or act out in general. Just check to see if that may be something like that.

If it wasn't bullying or anything of the sort and my advice above didn't help, then here are some disciplinary actions you can take to keep him in line.

-So, your son starts a fight with someone or just bullies them, then you play bully to him. I'm not saying beat him up, but kind of pick on him in a stern yet playful manner until he gets your message.

He's only a kid so don't be harsh on him but at the same time don't sugar-coat his punishment. He needs to learn that what he is doing is wrong.

-A good old fashioned spanking always worked for me and my little brother when we fought. Now, these days people don't want to spank their children and that's okay, somewhat. It's not the spanking that hurts the most, it's how the act is carried out. My father would tan our hides good, but what killed us both was when he made us wait in our rooms to get spanked. We went crazy while my dad did his normal after work routine. Normally we would be waiting for an hour or so before he did the deed. It was especially worse when he wouldn't say anything but, "get up to your now." Don't get me wrong, the whacks on our backsides hurt, but the wait was unbearable.

Anyways, back to helping you, the first time you spank him should be the only time you have to spank him hard. After that, hopefully all you will need to do is warn him, verbally or physically with a light swat to his butt or hand.

There are also other methods to use, and while i will not go into them, so as to not take up too much space on your forum, you are more than welcome to email some of your questions to me personally if you feel you want to. Just click on my profile name to email me.

I hope I could be of some help to you and good luck.

Answer 2

Our child acts out frequently...we used to try to reason with him....yell at him...even threaten physical punishment...nothing helped...until we took a lil advice from super nanny and started the naughty room tactic...1 minute for every year of age...at first our boy was going nuts inside the naughty room...i.e the closet...but we mixed in our own remedy...as a man, and as a 6 ft 185 pound man with a deep voice, i assume the position of authority...and i told our child...that if he acts out when in the naughty room he adds a minute for every time we have to tell him to be still and quiet in there...and i do not say this light heartedly, instead i with a loud booming voice let him know...he has since become so afraid of going to the naughty room, that the mere mention of it gets him less hyper active...of course we give him one warning, then its right to the naughty room...led by a very stern, uncomprimising grip...oh yeah and once he is done being good in there for 10 minutes, open the door and ask him why he was put in there, and why he is sorry...

Answer 3

At 18 you are obviously pretty enamored, and excited. Having a lot in common is good, but your perception is, that is because you both are family people! Having a lot in common boils down to a lot more than both being family oriented. It takes a lot of time to really get to know someone, and I urge you to go slow with your Marine, and not jump into a flight to Hawaii, or jump into bed with him, or jump into a marriage with him for that matter. When you really get down to finding out how compatible you are, consider if you share the very same political viewpoints, if you are the same spiritually? Look for finding out if you enjoy sharing the same passions in hobbies, such as perhaps enjoying golfing together, dancing together, hiking together, and other things like traveling together? It must be obvious after only having met him twice, that you have a lot to learn about how truly compatible you actually are with him? I applaud you for being a Christian, and I especially want to commend you for recognizing that you should really get to know someone very well, before getting married. One thing you could do, is to both download "Skype" on your computers and then you can talk and see one another via the internet a couple evenings a week at pre appointed times, and there's no extra cost for Skype. All laptops have a built in camera to accomplish this, or if you have desktops and towers, a cheap camera is available to plug in to facilitate Skype. In my God given viewpoint, I want to recommend you attempt to wait until you are in your early or mid twenties, before getting married. I realize that is not what you probably want to hear, but it is a fact that your brain is still growing, and you are gaining more wisdom, from now, until then. The ten year age gap between your Marine, and you, is probably not too great, but in my viewpoint, you are too young to get married! (Not him, but you). Couples that delay getting married till in their 20's, tend to enjoy life long healthy marriages, and statistics bear that out. Try to save sex, until you are married. Lust blindness can occur if you don"t, where your objectivity will go out the window. Go slow and become best friends first. If your guy is not willing to wait until marriage, then he is the wrong guy for you, as a Christian. Begin by establishing boundaries, followed by a framework of respect, where you both feel safe, and then great trust, and true love will be in your future. I wish you nothing but joy and happiness as a Christian woman, in the future, and I pray you learn to live life to the fullest.

Answer 4

I did the same thing as a child.

The kid needs more physical activity.

After School Sports would be good start. He just needs to spend less time in front of the TV, computer or Nintendo and more time outside sledding, biking or just pain running around.

It's gotten common for people to medicate their children for problems that boil down to kids needing get out and play. I'm glad to see you haven't gown down that road.

Answer 5

I agree with some other posters on here.. You don't have to been failing in school to be labeled adhd. Another theory is that maybe he is so bored with his work because it is to easy. My son is in the 3 grade and he is very bored with the curriculum. It is not challenging enough. Talk to his teacher about gifted program.

Answer 6

Maybe he is acting out because you are pregnant and he feels like he is getting less attention and feels that the new baby will get all the attention.

Answer 7

i think u should punish him now that hes younger so later on in life
he can be better...

ex: tell him you wont buy him new clothes or shoes , no more video games until he chills down...and defenetly no computer and phone..that'll teach him a lesson

Answer 8

you don't have to struggle in school to be AD/HD. there are a few children at the school that i work at and one in my class that have good grades, but also have AD/HD.

Answer 9

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Answer 10

sometimes this could be ADHD . have him checked out by his doctor and state what has been happening to Taylor