do you tell your partner that you are unhappy??

Question

right now im unhappy in my relationship. it seems like right now we arent on the same page. now my girlfriend is saying that she isnt for all that marriage stuff. when before she wanted to get married. also i told her that i know things didnt work out with your kids father. but i am here for you. i want to be here. she goes thanks. as long as it goes both ways. what the hell type of response is that?? everything is just so inconsisent. one minute we get along great, then the next minute, things are horrible. we arent talking or anything. she says that she ended all her relationships even though they SUPPOSEDLY all treated her right. does that raise a red flag??

Answer 1

You better tell her or you will just end up being more miserable!!!

Answer 2

Yes, it raises a big flag. Your gf is incapable of a healthy, secure relationship and doesn't want any kind of commitment. It would take a psychologist to figure out what her issues are but, suffice to say, she has issues. Just when things are going great, she may be sabotaging the relationship so she can say, "see, I told you it wouldn't work." This isn't healthy for you, I'm sorry to say. You sound as though you're ready to settle into a committed monogamous relationship. I think your gf will do nothing but frustrate you and I don't think she is the woman for you. If she's interested in preserving what you have, I suggest couples counseling. It's that or you should seriously consider moving on--for your own sake.

Answer 3

it may be that she's scared of being hurt,...after having children with another man & that man leaving her & the kids, she's got alot of unresolved feelings inside. It's hard once you've been hurt very deeply to just trust in the words of another man. (b/c she's probably heard those words before)..... if you're unhappy in the relationship you should talk with her, it's possible that she's unhappy too, and the two of you may be making each other unhappy for no reason whatsoever. A lack of communication often causes serious problems in relationships. Take the time to talk with her and listen to what she says. Let her know that you aren't like other men, and given time she'll see that for herself, but she has to let you in, she has to decide if she's willing to take the risk and go for it in the relationship or not. b/c you can't be 1/2 way in a relationship. Often we try to hold things back, so that we can keep ourselves from getting hurt, when in the end we aren't keeping ourselves from getting hurt we are keeping ourselves alone....... good luck!

Answer 4

Communication is so important. What kind of a relationship can you have without it? Clearly, you are sensing that something is wrong. Are you two on the same page when it comes to values (marriage, having more children, career goals, financial goals)? If she is flip flopping on you, are you sure you two should be together? I hope you are comfortable being single and getting to know yourself. I would not waste my time and energy on someone who can be so inconsistent. Imagine that you only have a few years left in your life, would you like to spend them with someone who truly loves you and cares for you or do you want to spend them with a wishy-washy person who doesn't know what she wants? There are plenty of good women out there that are ready for a decent, hard-working, and responsible man.

Answer 5

You need to dump her, or do something quick, because it sounds l ike she is about to get ready to tell you some bad news. But first thing is first is to communicate, and talk with her let her know whats going on and how you feel. Then go from there, but this sounds like its not going so well, and it may lead to a break up. If you not happy chances are your not going to be happy UNLESS you see where the problem is, then you fix the problem, but if its not fixable, LEAVE IT ALONE

Answer 6

yes there are some red flags there. Sounds like she is skeptical on men period! Sometimes when someone is hurt enough they tend to go through the motions but still have that "protection" around their heart so they don't get hurt again. Sounds like she's been hurt. I did the leaving in my relationships but both of them hurt me badly. She may change her mind again on marriage, I find myself doing the same thing. Its scary to put yourself out there and risk your heart again. Talk to her and try to sort through some of the issues that are making her change her mind

Answer 7

Dude, get the F**k out of there. Man, you're just asking to get you're frequen a** kicked later on down the road.

I, speak from experience. You have to trust me on this. I've been wedged for 16 yrs. now. I'm lucky though. I, get pardoned on 7/19/2012 (my baby turns 18)

Answer 8

yes this raises a BIG RED FLAG.... my question would be why are you still with her??? leave her and find a woman that has the same interest at heart as you do... she is trying to conform control over the situation so there for when it doesn't work out she can then blame you as she's done with all of her past relationships and exclude herself from her own mistakes.. leave her........

Answer 9

O MY... YES... The flags are up!!! Anytime a girl cant give specific reasons why the relationship ended... This is what happened: Either she is a committment phobe, or she cheated.

Answer 10

Yes. My suggestion is to tell her how you feel. If she's willing to try to work it out, then try to work it out. But if she's standoff-ish and just says something like this is just how I am right now, then YOU need to be the one to end it. Don't put it on her, stand up for yourself. Don't let someone treat you like dirt.

Answer 11

Yes, be thankful you're not married to her. Get out while you have a chance.