My husband is graduating in May with a 2nd master's degree. He works full-time & we have 2 very young kids at home (& he's a very involved father). He's taking night classes and has been working on this 2nd degree for 3 years. His brother told him because it's his 2nd, he shouldn't expect people to show up for his graduation (although not him or anyone from my husband's family attended his 1st master's graduation). His sister doesn't think she'll be there because he didn't come to her kids' birthdays last year. His mother is saying fine if you walk, fine if you don't. Am I wrong in expecting his family to be there for him? Is this a normal reaction from a family who claims to be close-knit? My husband is great guy & the best dad in the world & his family's reaction hurt him. I would like to get the perspective of someone neutral because I am starting to think that maybe I don't have grounds to be disappointed. BTW, his parents live 2.5 hours from us & his siblings 4.5 hours.
2007-02-06 06:34:40 · 6 answers · asked by rapha76 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He's a high school teacher and the first one of his family to have graduated with a masters degree and still no one was there for his 1st graduation. His brother's exact words were "If I'd received a masters degree, I'd go get my diploma, go home humbly and shut up about it. I just got a six-digit pay raise. You didn't see me inviting people to celebrate that."
2007-02-06 06:55:31 · update #1
It's too far for everyone to trek to watch him graduate- again. He's a grown man, not a high school boy. He has a wife and family and took time away from both to pursue his own education. I wouldn't expect anyone to show up either.
2007-02-06 06:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
That's sad. I think you have every right to be dissapointed in his family. Especially his parents. I can understand not driving 41/2 hrs maybe to a 2nd ceremony, but I think it's awful what his Brother said to him. Sounds like jealousy to me. Our whole family flew to Ft Lauderdale (12 hours away) to go to my Neice's college graduation, Grandparents and all. She was the first person in our family to go to college so we were all so happy for her. I think the fact that your husband works, has a successdful marriage, beautiful children and has worked to obtain 2 masters degrees makes him a very special individual and he deserves the respect from his family. At least he has you to be proud of him and I'm sure that means the world to him.
2007-02-06 08:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do they not like that he went back to school? Were they hoping he would be something else then what he is graduating for....Although,considering it is his second graduation i wouldn't expext everyone to come, but i would have thought his parents would. After all,how often do you get to see your child succeed in life. Maybe you should mention to them they didn't come to his first one and it would mean alot if they attended this one. Siblings are a different story though(sounds like there are some unresolved issues there)...if you would like to all get together sometime to celebrate for maybe a nice dinner try and arrange that sometime....is your family attending in support of your husband? maybe you might want to mention how that would look?
2007-02-06 06:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by jbrez9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband also has a very disfunctional family. You can't change them so just accept it. Put it out there that this is when it is and if they choose to come or not it is up to them. Perhaps some of them are jealous of his success? Regardless his parents should support him but you can't change them. I have learned this with my husbands family. His dad didn't even show up for our wedding! Just celebrate with you him and the kids. I am sure he has had many disappointment with them and is used to this.
2007-02-06 06:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Generally, by the time someone gets their Masters (or their second one) and is married with a couple of kids, it's kind of "old hat." In other words, this isn't high school or getting a Bachelor's at age 22, this is his second Masters. What, you expect everyone to celebrate everytime he gets another degree? Come on already. This is like a baby shower. You get one for the first baby and after that, you are on your own. I think Violet Pearl got it right, too. He is a GROWN MAN, not a kid, and frankly, I think you need to grow up yourself. Many of my family members have their Masters and beyond, and believe me, we didn't celebrate EVERY time someone got a new degree. This is reserved for high school and college (the first degree).
2007-02-06 06:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
i could see why you and your husband would be upset. graduating is a big deal and his family should be there, unless they have an emergency. they should be supportive and show more interest in your husband. although they say they are close knit, sounds like there maybe a bit of jealousy. be there for your husband and let him know you are so proud of him.
2007-02-06 06:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by firefly 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋