i know that i want to marry him but he does not want to marry to soon should i wait or give him an ultimatum.
2007-02-06 06:08:19 · 15 answers · asked by Rosie D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would give him an ultimatum.
3 years is a long time, should be long enough to know if you want to get married or not.
You obviously do, and if he isn't getting on with it, then I would question whether he really wants to.
Give him a month to decide - that way he'll have to confront his feelings and decide for sure.
2007-02-06 06:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by the_ref 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's that into you, he's not afraid of marrying you. If he's that into you, he wants to marry you ASAP so that you two can be blissfully happy for the rest of your lives starting now. If you give him an ultimatum then you'll look like psycho girlfriend. Plus, you don't want to pressure him into marrying you, and you don't want to wait forever. It's tough, but I'd say that the end is near, because I'm sure that there's someone else out there that you'll meet, date, and won't be afraid to marry you when you're ready.
VioletPearl--Sigma?
2007-02-06 06:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is funny you ask...I just went through a 3 year relationship with the same fears! I actually had to let him go due to other reasons so I cant say that you should give him the ultimatum but, be sure he treats you the way you want to be treated for the rest of your life and isnt just with you out of convenience. Ask him what he is afraid of with marriage...and go from there. Communication is the key to finding answers like this.
2007-02-06 06:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by TB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with my bf for 3 1/2 years before we married. I think its plenty of time for him to decide whether he sees you in his future or not. Its not selfish to want to move forward with a relationship when you feel you are ready.
However, if he isnt ready, then you have to ask yourself if you are wasting your time with him. You will find your answer if you ask him if he sees you in is future. If he hasnt really thought about it, then tell him to and give him a few weeks.
Tell him by spring, you expect to know where this relationship is leading. If you choose to wait that long. If not, then tell him to tell you immediately, and if you dont like what he has to say, then simply tell him you feel the two of you want different things in life and you feel like its time you start looking toward what you honestly want. end it, and find what you honestly want for your future. You cant hang on to something that isnt worth hanging on to. If what you want is to get married and start a family, then he needs to know that.
Sometimes, especially this day and age, people dont look to futuristic things like we used to. Living together is a convenient alternative to living the married life without the actual commitment. Although i have nothing against it, it isnt for everyone. You have to make that determination.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 06:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait if you truely want to marry him. Giving him an ultimatum might just back fire on you. You can give hints, but don't pressure him.
2007-02-06 06:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are his reasons for not marrying right now?....I would wait another year and then if nothing happens or nothing seems to be moving forward give him an ultimatum or call it quits
2007-02-06 06:13:32 · answer #6 · answered by Janie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for what. I have been with my bf for 6yrs and we are still not married. I already know it is not going to happen. You can not make a man marry you. If this is not something he had in life plan than forget it. If it aint broke don't fix it.
2007-02-06 06:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by tae 1974 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three years is a long time. But it all matters on how old you are. If you're eighteen and you've been with him since you were fifteen, then it's definitely too early. If you're in your mid to late twenties, I'd say you're old enough to be getting married.
However, it takes two to tango. Find out why he doesn't want to get married. You need to have a talk about it.
2007-02-06 06:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wait. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we still think its not time, though i want to.
we want more in life. finish our masters, save enough money and eventually get married.
he probably wants to give it time to give you the perfect wedding.
dont give him an ultimatum, it will make him sooo uncomfortable and forced.
give it time. or talk and come up with a date you guys wish for it to happen
communication is the key
2007-02-06 06:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're over 25, say he can have 3 more months and if you don't have a ring, a date, and an engagement announcement, it's over
If you're younger than 25, wait until you turn 25 and do the above.
2007-02-06 06:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋